There are a lot of people who will do absolutely anything for an easy life. I often like to think of myself as one of these people, but the amount of time I spend stressing over the smallest things in life proves to me that I’m not.
However, the people on this list are experts at finding the smallest, or largest, ways of making life infinitely more weird and difficult than necessary.
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“Ah yes a bottle belt…”
The red string alone would surely make for a more comfortable belt experience, right? That plastic bottle top digging into your waist has got to be an unpleasant sensation! That is a sentence that I never thought I’d write down.
“My dad’s salt and pepper shaker collection.”
I dread to think of how many restaurants this person’s father is banned from for stealing the salt and pepper dispensers. Although, he must surely have gotten pretty damn good at sneaking them out by now?
“That’s what you call problem solving!”
Being in a car that is accelerating uncontrollably must be a pretty damn terrifying experience. Thank God they have their state-of-the-art stick with them at all times so that they can avoid a crisis.
“None of the stuff in the back was tied down — not that I’m sure what you’d tie it to.”
At least they took the time to make sure that the taillight was tied into place, with the greatest of fixers, duct tape. I also wonder how they get into this car, as there is no way that the door works.
“Meanwhile in Australia…”
“Why would you not want a crab claw to be used as a backscratcher?! Sure, I can think of many reasons why I wouldn’t want that, but that doesn’t matter!”
“Dave, for the last time, I don’t want to be a part of this ‘business’.”
“This job advertisement near me hits all of the perks!”
If you are the kind of person who is thinking, “Wow, that sounds like just the place for me!” then please consult your therapist. Also, working with horses would be a real downer, they always have such long faces.
“What cocktail would you like to serve in this?”
You would have to fill it with a snowball cocktail surely? Wouldn’t be able to drink any though as snowballs taste like absolute death. Egg Nog could work as well I suppose?
“This porcelain gravy cat.”
Look, if a cat hasn’t vomited out a load of sauce onto your meal then can you even really call it a meal? A cat yarfing up a load of gubbins onto your plate is what makes a meal!
*Billy Joel Intensifies…*
In case there are any fire alarm nerds out there, one individual added:
“Effective from the 1st of July 1996, the American National Standard (ANSI) has adopted the internationally standardized evacuation signal, now popularly known as the temporal 3 pattern, in short as T3. This signal is in compliance with the standard ANSI S3.41 in America and ISO 8201, and it is referred to as the Audible Emergency Evacuation Signal by both standard organizations.”
That Is One Hell Of A Bar Stool!
“Hey, Dave, check out this guy’s barstool! It makes it look as though he is a horse from the waist down… Oh, wait no, he’s just a centaur.”
“I can’t wait for the day when I can just go for a drink without being ridiculed.”
“I’m sorry mate, I just didn’t think…”
“No one ever does!”
“My wife leaves her hair on the shower wall all the time!”
This person’s wife is clearly a very talented artist! Or, rather, this person’s wife’s hair is clearly a very talented artist! I can’t draw this well with a pen and paper!
“It may look absurd but it kind of makes sense.”
I mean, suppose it makes sense in a truly insane way? I just don’t think that I would be comfortable sat with my head that close to the ceiling. Also, I’d be waiting for the bed to collapse.
“Efficient? Pointlessly dangerous? Something about walking the plank to take a dump.”
Why would they put the toilet that close to a hole? If you are going to put a temporary toilet that close to a hole, you may as well just get people to poop in the hole!
“Infinite range!”
I like where their head was at, but there must have been a slicker way for them to have made this. Still, if they want to do their bit for the planet in this way, then more power to them!
“Rules enforced via angry forklift!”
“I like the funny sign you have up about there being no pedestrians allowed.”
“There’s nothiing funny about that sign. You don’t want to walk around out there otherwise Crazy Steve might get you! He’s really into Mad Max.”
“An interesting house being built in my hometown in Bulgaria.”
I have heard of people flipping houses before but this is something else! Yes, I genuinely just made that joke. And yes, I am incredibly ashamed of the man that I have become!
“Hey look! Free time off!”
That is a pretty damn accurate cartoon that they have drawn on there considering how simple it is. The face on the guy really gives you a look into how much you will be enjoying that time off.
He Has Zero Fear!
“So instead of renting a pole saw to cut the root that was in the way in their drilled shaft they decided to duct tape a chainsaw to a 4×4. That also means duct taping the throttle wide open along with duct taping the deadman switch,” wrote the terrified person who wrote this.
“This cabin on top of a silo. Oldham County, Kentucky.”
One or two people did point out that it looks kind of like an obscenely large Pez dispenser, which I can kind of see. It must be terrifying being up there in a storm.
Introducing, The Most Terrifying Extension On The Planet…
You would have to have nerves of steel to sit out on that and enjoy yourself. Just imagine, reclining on that, a cold beer in one hand and sweat just pouring off you as you wait for your death.
“The circle is complete.”
There should be an application which turns this into a rotary phone, that would really be going full circle! Although, it would be even better if they removed all other apps except for the ability to call!
“They put a wooden lid above the plastic one to make it seem more eco friendly.”
One person pointed out, “There are certain rules for cap closure and usually a plastic tube needs a plastic cap. This looks like it’s designed to go with a wood-handled toothbrush. Completely cosmetic and unnecessarily wasteful… except it probably appeals to many buyers.”
“What sort of Thanksgiving dessert starts with a K!?”
I mean, it is clearly Kie. Kie is like pie except it has a “k” at the start of it. There are no differences in ingredients or flavors, just the spelling.
“My wife just got this huge banner for work. Perfect.”
“Is there any chance that your business name is ‘Linked image only’?”
“No, why do you ask?”
“Oh, no reason. Although, I should maybe warn you about a slight little error that may have occurred with your order…”
“The holes on this red pepper flake shaker aren’t big enough to let red pepper flakes out.”
While a lot of people did point out that you can just lift the plastic flap, this person did reply by adding:
“Last year, it was a cap with larger holes. Also, what a terrible idea. ‘Take the plastic thing off altogether and make it way easier to accidentally pour a tablespoon of red pepper flakes on your brussels sprouts.'”
The Carnal Sin Of The Petrol Station!
“5 PM, Rush Hour. At least 3 cars are waiting to get to an open pump. These 2 have been done pumping gas and have been holding a causal conversation for 8 minutes now,” explained this irate individual.
“My wife eats apples from the bottom…including the core.”
Clearly this person has married a half-goat half-woman hybrid. Wait a minute, that means…by God, they’ve married the devil! Jesus Christ man, you need to get the hell out of there immediately!
“Dude blocked three parking spaces which also happened to be: an emergency vehicle space, a handicap space, and a 10 min space for delivery drivers.”
Wow, they really wanted to try and cause massive inconvenience while also being the biggest asshat on the planet in one simple manoeuvre! It’s impressive, in the worst way possible.
“People who think it’s ok to drive like this in the winter.”
The fact that is is not illegal to drive like this is pretty insane. How long would it really take to wipe that snow off? What kind of a rush are you in where you can’t just run your hand along that?!
“UPS left a nice billboard to all the porch pirates in my area. Just lay the box down dude.”
It is as though this delivery driver wanted for this kid’s toys to get stolen. Good going my guy, you really dropped the ball on this one.
