When in a relationship , something that can hurt the most is our partner revealing they don’t like something about us, and asking us to change.
While the context is what truly matters in these scenarios, there are some instances where it’s just plain unreasonable . This list compiles some stories women shared under a Reddit post of some of the most ridiculous things partners have asked them to change about themselves.
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Waiting your turn.
“To not have more tattoos than him at any point. So when I wanted my second and he only had the one, he expected me to wait until he got a second tattoo first.
“I’m guessing it had something to [do] with his weird hang up on masculinity. I didn’t listen and got my second while we were dating. He didn’t say or do anything about it.”
Toughening up.
“He didn’t want me to cry. Ever. ‘The women in my family would never cry unless their arm was being sawed off at the time.’ Twenty some years later I realized he should have married his sister.”
Screw you, Mike!
“‘You’re too nice, you need to stop that.’ Said every time I gave money or food to a panhandler or charity, any time I expressed compassion for someone who wasn’t him, […]
“[Expletive] you Mike, the struggle is real, and I’m gonna be nice to as many people as I can because none of us decided to be here.”
Furry friends.
“He wanted me to get rid of my pets, if I was reeeeaaally good though, he could be okay with me keeping my dog. Nope! Got rid of him instead.”
Any man that proposes an ultimatum like that deserves to be dumped in a heartbeat.
Multiple red flags.
“Asked me to be more ‘agreeable’ and not discuss feminist issues in his presence. This winner also told me I needed to lose about 40 pounds because women shouldn’t weigh more than 120.
“For context, I’m 5’9″ and at the time was wearing a size 6. I noped out of that relationship pretty quick.”
Get the clippers!
“I used to have the side of my head shaved (buzzed, not shaved bald.) I loved it. My ex asked me to stop cutting it and let it grow out. I said ‘Why? I like it.’
“He said ‘Because I don’t like my girlfriend having shorter hair than me.’ Sounds like it’s time to shave your head then, buddy.”
More visually appealing.
“I had a partner ask me to gauge my ears so that I could ‘fit his aesthetic more’. Safe to say that relationship was short lived. LMAO.”
Many replies noted how creepy this was, and how it seemed like he saw his then-girlfriend as more of an accessory than a person.
Over-apologetic.
“An ex asked me to stop saying sorry all the time. I’m sorry, but I’m Canadian and I cannot help it.”
“Omg same,” said one response, “And after that I noticed he never said sorry, never. He said I was weak for apologizing…”
All work and no play.
“He told me my taste in music was awful, and that I should only listen to the most talented musicians in styles I was learning. He trained me to listen to music only for work, never for fun, and would turn off the stereo if I was listening to something like pop music for fun in the car.
“We’re both professional musicians. You’d think it would be impossible to ruin music for a musician. That was 10 years ago, and I still have intense anxiety about choosing music, and listening to music around other people.”
Keeping your insides in.
“I’m very pale, so pale that you can see the blue of my veins throughout most of my body. A boyfriend I had about ten years ago asked if there was ‘anything I could do to get rid of them?’
“I had to explain that no, I had a circulatory system and very much wanted to remain alive.”
Life of the party.
“He kept insisting that I socialize more with strangers. Like we would be ordering drinks in a beach bar and he would insist that I make small talk with these two random girls who were also ordering.
“Like idgaf about small talk with strangers, stop forcing me! Ugh.”
Too smooth.
“I once had a bf tell me he would break up with any woman on the spot if he found out they had upper lip hair. I broke up [with] him, he was an idiot.”
Good joke.
“He thought my laugh could be more ‘ladylike,’ because as long as I had a witch cackle he wouldn’t ‘be able to take me anywhere high-class.’
“He was flat broke at the time and I was paying for everything. I also sound different depending on how hard I’m laughing, so it’s not like I had to break out the witch laugh at all these imaginary restaurants and balls we were totally going to attend. Didn’t matter, he wanted me to train myself out of it anyway.”
Dumbing yourself down.
“My ex told me I needed to start pretending I didn’t understand things even when I did, bc ‘men like explaining things to women’.
“The ex before him basically told me I was malfunctioning bc I didn’t want to be a [stay-at-home mom], and he asked me to never fart in front of him bc ‘women don’t poop’.”
No introductions needed.
“I dye my hair a lot, this is something I’ve always taken pride in and I LOVE my hair. My ex, on the other hand told me I wouldn’t meet his parents until I got rid of the crazy colors. I never met the parents.”
Starting off hot.
“One time on a dating app a man messaged me and asked if I could change my name because he didn’t like unisex names.”
This one might be the most preposterous one on the list. Not only asking someone to change their whole name, but doing so when you don’t even know them? The audacity.
Just brush it off.
“[…] he asked me to pretend I wasn’t in pain when I was.
“I have endometriosis and if I’m dating you, you will have an up-close and personal seat into the life of someone with a chronic pain condition.
“Now, I don’t complain a lot about it, it’s just a fact of my life, and I came to terms with it a long time ago. So when my ex-fiancé got ‘fed up’ with me ‘being sick all the time,’ I told him I can’t act healthy all the time when I’m sometimes in debilitating pain….and he said, ‘Can’t you fake it?’.”
Inferiority complex.
“He wanted me to be shorter. I’m 5’1. He literally wanted me to hunch my shoulders and only wear [expletive] flats all the time,” wrote one response.
The reason for this? “He was 5’3 and insecure lmaoooo.”
Time and place.
“[…] he asked me to stop being forgetful. I’ve always been a forgetful person, but not about big things, mostly small details. He had a small procedure one day that I had to take the day off to drive him there/bring him home.
“I remembered the time, the date, took the day off and was ready to go… but I forgot where it was. That set him off. He argued with me for 2 hours about how my forgetfulness was selfish and was now affecting his life too.”
Simple as that.
“I have long, thick, dark brown hair, great condition, I have never dyed it and it’s probably my favourite feature. I get a lot of compliments on it.
“My ex would always suggest I dye it blonde.
“If you like blondes, date a blonde. Dumbass.”
