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Boyfriend Demands Girlfriend Let Him Inspect Her Poop To See If She’s Cheating

by Caitlyn Clancey
6 years ago
in Online Communities
Reading Time: 3 mins read
A A
Unsplash | Phil Hearing

Unsplash | Phil Hearing

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I think we can all agree we’ve had our fair share of crazy exes – the kind who jump to the most insane conclusions possible and who can’t seem to be reasoned with, no matter how hard you try.

These are the exes who fly off into a jealous rage if a waiter lingers too long at the table talking to you.

Or if you happen to smile a bit too wide at the Uber driver, etc. Sometimes, there’s no telling what will set them off. They’re just determined to find something to be jealous and/or paranoid about.

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But I also think most of us are lucky enough to never have experienced this level of crazy.

One woman found herself the target of some pretty next-level craziness, all because she forgot to flush the toilet.

Shared on Reddit, the anonymous woman told the internet about her boyfriend who questioned the validity of their relationship after stumbling upon his significant other’s poop.

Your ex doesn’t look so crazy anymore, do they?

“Prior to this week, he has never expressed any lack of trust in me.”

Image credit: Instagram | @boss_installations
Instagram | @boss_installations

It’s worth noting that these two don’t actually live together, but her boyfriend does stay the night fairly often.

The woman explained that she usually goes number two before she takes a shower, and then she flushes after she gets out of the shower. It’s been a pretty standard morning routine for her.

One day, she neglected to flush the toilet after she got out of the shower.

It was an honest mistake, but it would lead to the most confusing and I’m sure humiliating argument of her life.

Later that night, her boyfriend came over and popped into the bathroom. When he came out, he looked at his girlfriend and asked whose poop was in the toilet.

“I was mortified and explained that I had forgotten to flush.”

No matter what this woman said, her boyfriend was convinced that the contents of the toilet belonged to someone else – specifically, another man.

Why? Because according to this fine gentleman, “no girl could take a dump that big.”

When she kept insisting it was her own, he eventually left the house and ignored her texts for the rest of the night.

Eventualy, he agreed to meet the woman for lunch to discuss what I’m going to just go ahead and dub Poopgate.

He apologized for rushing out of the house the way he did.

Image credit: Unsplash | Emily Austin
Unsplash | Emily Austin

Unfortunately, just because he was saying sorry doesn’t mean this poor woman was in the clear yet.

He told her that he would be willing to give her a “second chance”, but she’d have to do something first.

Image credit: Pixaby | rawpixel
Pixaby | rawpixel

He needed to prove that the poop wasn’t hers.

Apparently, this was such a big deal to this man that he quite literally couldn’t find it in himself to trust his girlfriend again unless he knew for sure she was the one responsible for the poop.

So how exactly is this woman supposed to prove that another man hadn’t visited her bathroom?

Why, by pooping in front of her boyfriend, of course! He insisted this was the only way he could be sure that she was capable of…producing something like what he had seen in the toilet bowl.

Then and only then would he be able to trust her again.

What’s even more crazy is the woman hasn’t even decided whether or not she’s going to do it.

Her Reddit post ends with her asking users for their opinion. She even offers up what she calls a “compromise”, where she’ll do her thing in the bathroom and then call her boyfriend in to see for himself.

“He’s made it clear that this is a dealbreaker for him.”

Well consider that deal good and broken then because this is one flavor of crazy you do not want to have to deal with, girl. I suggest you call it quits and move on because no one should ever have to deal with something like Poopgate.

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