The birth of a child is a day that will remain in the hearts and minds of mothers and fathers everywhere. Most will carry it with them until their last dying day. So it only makes sense that for such a momentous occasion, you feel safe and secure.
But what if it isn’t that easy; what if you happened to disagree with your partner on who should be included during the process? This is precisely what happened to an anonymous mother who tried to tell her mother-in-law she wasn’t allowed in the delivery room.
The birth of a child is a momentous occasion for parents.
But as heartwarming and miraculous as it can be, a baby also brings with it ample amounts of stress and anxiety — especially for first-time parents.
It’s the most natural feeling in the world.
What makes matters worse is when you have overbearing relatives who try to insert themselves in situations where they may not necessarily be needed or wanted.
This is precisely what an anonymous mother recently had to deal with as she prepared to give birth to her child.
The mother-to-be explained how she was due to give birth in two months and was in desperate need of advice.
“We are only allowed to have three people in the room when I give birth,” she explained via MomasUncut.com. “So it will be my husband , my mother, and my sister.”
She said that when her husband expressed how he wanted his own mother to be there during the birth, the request was quickly shot down without any further thought or discussion.
Hurt by her refusal, the mother-to-be’s husband became angry.
“My husband is mad because I do not want my mother-in-law in there with me and is taking it out on me,” she continued on in her post.
“He said it is only right that a grandparent is there for the birth.”
The mother went on to say that she wasn’t trying to hurt anyone’s feelings.
She simply never felt comfortable around her mother-in-law and didn’t want to feel uncomfortable during the birth.
Countless people flooded the comments with their thoughts and advice.
The majority of the comments were supportive of the future mother’s decision.
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One person wrote:
“Ask him if he would be comfortable splayed eagle for hours on end, with his junk out for everyone to see. If he says no, tell him to shut up and not be mad. It’s YOUR birth experience. If he keeps up with the attitude I’d tell him he’s not going to be allowed in there.”
Others were quick to condemn those who showed sympathy for the husband.
“To all the women on here telling this poor mother that she should allow someone in that she doesn’t want to to “respect” the father. SHAME SHAME SHAME on you! Dishonor on you! That is the EXACT opposite of what she needs.”
They went on to explain how giving birth is an incredibly intimate moment and that anything that would or could potentially cause stress to the mother mustn’t be tolerated.
“Birth is one of the most vulnerable things she will ever go through and to add any tiny bit of stress is incorrect.”
“Nope. MIL can be there after. I straight up told mine there was NO way on God’s green earth that I’d allow her to watch me give birth.”
“She told me that if my mom was going to be there it was only fair. I in turn told her that it wasn’t up for discussion and that trying to force me into it wasn’t fair to me.”
“I also decided I didn’t want my mom there either which really upset her. But again. OH WELL. my body.”
“My choice. Don’t let ANYONE make you feel guilty for choosing what is best for you and your body.”
One person even thought of a clever way to keep the mother-in-law out without hurting her feelings.
“There is always a secret word u can tell your nurse/doctor when you want someone out of the room!”
“They will tell you when you first go in! And if your husband tries to force you to let her in just tell your team the word and they will make her leave and make it seem like it’s not because of you!”
This raises the question — should anyone but the parents be allowed in?
Giving birth isn’t a spectacle or a show, it’s a private wonderful moment between two people as they prepare to bring new life into this world.
More to the point, it’s the woman who’s giving birth — not the man.
So that would imply that she should be able to decide who she wants around her while she is literally either pushing out her insides, or having them cut open, right?
Now, we want to hear from you.
Should the father’s feelings be given consideration at all or do you think that the mother is the one who should have the absolute last word on who is allowed in? Leave a comment and let us know!
