When someone feels lied to, it’s natural to feel a sense of hurt and betrayal. And one of the effects of that betrayal can often be a difficulty trusting people, which is especially true if they were deeply invested in a sad story that turned out to be false.
Since that particular variety of this feeling can be so intense, it can lead people to react fiercely when they’re suspicious of someone else’s true intentions.
Unfortunately, this can sometimes occur before all the facts have come in.
And it’s possible that one couple in Hawaii has ended up in the crossfire of one of those preemptive reactions.
On Monday, a Reddit user by the name of bbreen2 uploaded this photo taken after his wife, Chrystal underwent her first chemotherapy treatment.
He added the caption “1st chemo treatment down. So proud of her” and the post received 37.3 thousand upvotes.
Normally, this would indicate that it was very well-received, but the comments tell a different story.
Although some users were supportive, many were angered by the fact that he took a photo of her while she was asleep.
As one user wrote , “You don’t take pictures of your SO sleeping after cancer treatments then post that on Reddit to get attention and points? I thought everyone did that here.”
Another wrote, “And Im proud of you for sneaking a picture when shes sleeping to grind out some karma.”
“Gotta find ways to work yourself into someone else’s problems so you can gain whatever you can out of it!” user RickDripps said .
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Some were quick to point out that this type of behavior isn’t what THEY’D want for themselves.
“If I ever have to go through chemo and my wife/girlfriend pimps me out for upvotes/karma please call her out for it,” user PoorPauper wrote .
While the wording of these comments varied, they generally accused bbreen2 of uploading a photo of Chrystal without her consent for Reddit karma.
As these knee-jerk responses piled in, some users who had been down a similar road as Chrystal went more sympathetic.
As H0liday_Armadill0 said , “I feel so bad for OP… trust me, spouses dont feel your physical pain, but their emotional distress and constant anxiety is definitely them also going through it. i’m a really private person but when i was going through RAI if my boyfriend at the time wantd to post about it to help his own mental health nevermind my medical bills, i wouldn’t have the extreme/judgmental/pissy reactions everyone on here seems to be giving.”
Another user, RobotEquinox wrote, “That hits close to home. Some people don’t even know supportive partners are possible for themselves.”
“When I was trying to recover from PPD and PTSD (from a really horrific situation), my ex would just scream at me to shut up and mocked my crying because he hated that I cried so much. It didn’t even occur to me how wrong that was. Much love to the supportive, loving partners in the world.”
In the middle ground, some users shared the reality of it all, and how some kind words from strangers can really help with the heaviness.
“As a person who has gone through cancer 2 times in a 3 year span, yes random kind words from strangers really do bring your mood up when you are down,” wrote Bryan_7982 .
“Depression runs deep during a time like this, people give up when they are depressed and can’t think they can do it. Tell her we are fighting right along with her not matter what!”
Indeed, bbreen2’s response indicated that what he considered fake internet points were the furthest thing from his mind.
Instead, he was hoping to get visibility for a GoFundMe campaign dedicated to raising money to cover the many costs that come with cancer treatment.
Although any comments with the link were removed by moderators, he also stated in one of them that Chrystal did give her permission to upload the photo.
One might expect that this information would inspire a lot of sheepish apologies, but that’s not what happened even among those in the know.
Those who were able to click on the GoFundMe links before they were removed noticed a paragraph that said one of the costs they were facing involved freezing Chrystal’s eggs so she could still have children after recovering from cancer treatments known to affect fertility.
In the minds of critics, this meant that a campaign purported to fund her treatments was actually funding trips to a fertility clinic. The fact that some of the treatments were covered by Chrystal’s health insurance also added fuel to these accusations.
Some even went as far as accusing the couple of inventing her diagnosis to con people out of donations.
The problem with this is that there’s no evidence to suggest any such fraud is taking place.
Furthermore, the GoFundMe campaign described the fertility clinic procedures as one of the costs they were facing. Not only that, but it was a known one, as opposed to the many unknown costs that can arise alongside further cancer treatments or the complications thereof.
Moreover, the same page states that the couple’s health insurance covers some of the medical costs. This still leaves a substantial amount that’s unaccounted for.
So based on this information, it’s very likely that much of the money raised will go directly towards Chrystal’s treatments. And the part about the fertility clinic is clearly stated on the page, so those who contribute do so knowing that they’re also giving her a chance to be a mother after all of this is over.
With that in mind, it’s hard not to perceive the backlash the couple — and bbreen2 in particular — is facing as people kicking them when they’re at the lowest they’ve ever felt.
Despite this, the campaign has raised $28,543 of its $50,000 goal after two days.
