A first date can be a terrifying experience. If you’re anything like me then your mind can become overrun with a plethora of bizarre and unlikely possibilities. Such as, what if they’re really a collection of geese operating the skin of a person, or what if southwest sauce is going to start leaking out of my nose uncontrollably?
Most of the time, however, a first date will be a perfectly normal experience if a little awkward.
There are occasions though where it becomes blatantly obvious to one party or another that there will not be a sequel to this movie that you’re stuck in playing the part of a person who wants to be anywhere else than in this movie.
So, people have been taking to Twitter to share their experiences of this moment with the hashtag #AFirstDateBecomesTheLastWhen.
Yes, as with everything nowadays, people have been taking to the internet to share their personal experiences for them to be rated and judged by strangers, which is great!
The experiences that people have shared have varied from the mundane, to the creepy, and then to the hilarious.
Examples include from the likes of, “#AFirstDateBecomesTheLastWhen. he pays for dinner, but doesn’t tip.
To the more extreme, “#AFirstDateBecomesTheLastWhen you don’t even get to the date because they decide to email a very elaborate fetish list before it happens.”
So, let’s go through some of the most eye-catching responses. Also, you may want to take notes, these could help you in the future.
That moment when you realize they’re a bit of a stalker…
In the digital age, the supposed mystery of a first date may not be such a mystery for some people! When they start rattling off your social security number and mother’s maiden name for instance, you should probably get out of their and up your online security.
Apparently, it’s also important not to get drunk and do moose noises, in case you were wondering.
I always thought I was doing something wrong, but I never knew it was the moose impersonations! Next I’ll be discovering that it’s for some reason wrong to bring your disgraced chainsaw artist friend along to carve out your date’s image in a block of wood while you eat.
There were also a lot of answers which demonstrated the importance of pop culture.
Other examples of this included:
“#AFirstDateBecomesTheLastWhen they mention reality TV, religion or don’t know at least the basics of #StarWars”
“#AFirstDateBecomesTheLastWhen he casually suggests that you should give the new “Princess Bride” reboot a chance.”
It turns out sharing pop cultural references is pretty high on people’s lists. Thank God i spent so long watching films and TV I guess.
Companies quickly jumped on the trending bandwagon with their own ‘jokes’.
Plenty of companies barrelled into the threads with all of the grace of a blind bull in a china shop owned by someone who slept with their partner, offering up their own takes on the hashtag. Please, companies, can you at least try and make them in some way relevant.
My favorite of all was one by Strand Book Store who quite lamely wrote, “#AFirstDateBecomesTheLastWhen you walk by a bookstore after dinner and they don’t want to go in.”
I mean, that’s not even trying!
A slightly more serious one that people flagged up perhaps most frequently, however, was the issue of phones.
A date where the other party can’t look away from their phones was perhaps the most popular response.
If you’re out on a date with someone, here’s an idea: talk to the person!
The amount of time that people spend staring at their phones is a common cause for concern nowadays, and unsurprisingly it is a massive turn off for people on a first date. It also turns out, again unsurprisingly, that people don’t like it when their date is rude to the service staff, because that’s called being an arsehat.
“#AFirstDateBecomesTheLastWhen your phone gets more attention than I do.”
“#AFirstDateBecomesTheLastWhen they’re rude to the server”
After phones and politeness, the third most popular response was whether the other party likes dogs or not.
“#AFirstDateBecomesTheLastWhen he says he’s not a dog person”
Yeah, it turns out that people are really into dogs! And why wouldn’t they be? I mean, what’s so great about cats anyway? They’re just pretentious inconveniences!
Oh, and in case anyone was wondering, do not claim to be adept at removing child pornography from a hard drive.
I think that one would be a shimmying out of the bathroom window situation. I mean, boasting about how much you know about computers is a bit of a weird flex for a first date anyway, especially if your justification for how good you are with computers is this unsettling.
As much as this hashtag may insensitive you to never date ever again, try to remember that not everyone is this weird!
Essentially, just be yourself, unless you can find out how to be a better person and never reveal your true weirdness, just stay in character for the rest of your life. All you need to make sure is that this better version of yourself is polite, doesn’t stare at their phone, and likes dogs – it’s that simple! It worked for me, so it can work for you too!
