Getting married and planning a wedding is an incredible, wonderful, magical life event. It’s also a minefield of financial woes, social niceties, and frayed nerves that rarely avoids drama.
One of the toughest parts can be picking the bridal party.
You can’t just pick five friends and call it a day.
There’s the question of responsibilities, as not everyone can make the time for bridesmaids’ duties. Some people can’t afford the extra costs of a custom dress. Inevitably, there’s the question of whether to include members of the groom’s family.
And sometimes, sadly, there’s a question about a person’s body type.
It’s going to come up no matter what. That’s just part of trying to choose a dress style that will flatter all members of the group, but one bride in particular is getting flack for the way she dealt with the issue.
After the event led to a rift with friends, the bride took to Reddit to ask for opinions.
There, she shared her story in the handy subreddit r/AmItheAsshole .
The forum is a place where one can get outside opinions on a situation when you’re not sure who is in the wrong.
She begins by explaining that she has two childhood friends, Kristy and Erin, who she considered as bridesmaids.
While they aren’t as close as they used to be, they’ve maintained a group chat and regularly meet up for girls’ nights.
But the bride didn’t ask Erin to be a bridesmaid.
Almost as soon as those asked began sharing it on social media, it was clear Erin was upset.
She became standoffish and lukewarm about invites to other wedding events.
The bride turned to Kristy, who made it clear why Erin’s feelings were hurt and demanded to know why their friend was excluded.
There were two main reasons, but both involved Erin’s boobs.
Apparently, due to a hormone disorder, Erin’s breasts are enormous and the bride couldn’t figure out the logistics of getting a dress specially tailored for her. Plus, it limited style options in general.
Also: the bride worried that Erin’s impressive breasts would be a “distraction.”
There was so much planning going into a beautiful venue and ceremony.
She didn’t want people to look back on her wedding and only remember the “bridesmaid with the giant boobs.”
When she told Kristy this, her friend told her that she was being selfish.
But the bride wondered if it is okay to be a little bit selfish on her wedding day.
It didn’t take long for people to inform her that yes, she was being unreasonable.
They told her that she should be choosing bridesmaids because she cares about them, not because of how they look.
User Justanothername16 said that after a bride’s mom raised questions about having a pregnant, tattooed bridesmaid, the friend shut her down:
She … told off her mother saying she wanted ME to be her bridesmaid because she loved ME as I was and she wouldn’t change me for the world. It was beautiful and loving and we’ve only become closer since.
Others noted that she would lose a lifelong friendship over this.
“The only giant boob here is you. I’d reconsider before you lose a good friend over something as trifling as a dress,” said ChaoticForkingGood
Many shared their stories about being left out of bridal parties for dumb reasons.
There were plenty who were dropped due to their body type, but also for reasons like not being able to afford the dress the bride insisted on.
No matter the reason, it hurts.
Another important point made was that Erin’s breasts are due to a medical condition she can’t control.
If they really are as large as the bride says, requiring things like extra padding on bra straps, then Erin is likely very aware and self-conscious of any “distraction” she may cause.
Excluding her specifically because of them will only increase her discomfort in her own body.
While they roasted her until she was well-done, she did learn from the responses.
Later, she posted an update, proving that she’s going to try to make things right:
Thanks for your thoughts. I posted this recognizing that I was being at least a bit of an asshole, but I failed to fully comprehend the depth of my assholery, and more importantly how this seemingly insignificant bit of shallow exclusivity could hurt my friend on a deep level.
She had come to realize that it wasn’t worth losing a friend over.
I want to thank many of you for helping me to rediscover some perspective that I lost in the midst of planning for my wedding. I plan to sit down with Erin, apologize, and do what I can to fix the situation.
So perhaps this story will have a happy ending after all!
