It’s no secret that Americans have an obsession with ranch. Once just a creamy dressing for your salad, it’s now become a staple for so many dishes. Eating pizza? Dip it in ranch. Cooking chicken? Add ranch seasoning. Tacos, macaroni and cheese, turkey stuffing — all made “better” with ranch.
Hey, taste is subjective. What might be delicious to you could be considered vomit-inducing to someone else. The same goes for ranch. Some people hate it, and some virtually worship the creamy, tangy stuff.
But no matter what your feelings towards ranch, I think we can all agree on one thing: it does not belong inside a Pop-Tart.
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This all started a few days ago when someone on Twitter decided to post a particularly nauseating picture.
Twitter user Kyle Heroff posted this absolute insult to both our eyes and taste buds with the caption, “People say you can put ranch on anything.” He then made sure to tag both Pop-Tarts and Hidden Valley Ranch in an effort to really get the ball rolling on what is sure to be the worst idea ever conceived.
I don’t know if he was actually expecting a response, but he definitely got one.
Hidden Valley Ranch commented on Heroff’s post with more enthusiasm than I am comfortable with.
So, it would seem that HVR is down to clown with a disgusting crossover, and they even reached out to Pop-Tarts, offering them the chance to team up and “give the people what they want.”
Who? Who wants this? Monsters. That’s who.
Pop-Tarts eventually got around to responding with significantly less enthusiasm than their potential business partner.
That should tell you just about everything you need to know about this proposal. Hilarious, sure. But no. Just no .
I’d like to quickly send a thank-you to Pop-Tarts for having a good head on its shoulders and realizing some things are just better left alone.
So unfortunately for anyone out there who was actually excited at the prospect of Ranch Pop-Tarts, it doesn’t look like it’ll be happening anytime soon.
Although, judging from what I’ve seen in the comments on Twitter, it didn’t look like anyone was really on board for this one.
There are a lot of reaction gifs expressing disgust, and plenty of comments condemning Haroff for every thinking up such an atrocity. However, he did post a poll to his Twitter page asking whether people would really want Ranch Pop-Tarts, and despite the overwhelmingly negative responses in the comments, 28 percent of voters said “Yes.”
Perhaps in an effort to keep the disgusting Pop-Tarts theme going, Haroff has offered up another new flavor.
An engineer of food ingenuity, he captioned this photo and suggested that this uniquely disgusting flavor would be perfect for people to add ranch to.
And that’s enough internet for me today, thanks.
