Divorce is difficult , but oftentimes it’s for the best. Many people will find that their spouse isn’t the person they pretended to be , either because they’re selfish, immature, or downright abusive.
Women on Reddit shared their own stories of what moments they experienced that ended their relationships . Reddit user Loca000 posed the question to r/TwoXChromasomes , while sharing her own story as well.
“When did you know it was over?”
“My mom is in ICU and the husband just told me to come home and watch the kids instead of being with her. When I got upset he told me to stop being selfish and that I’m not the only person in the world.
“Pretty sure that was a marriage ending moment for me.”
“When I gave my husband the ultimatum that either he attend marriage counseling with me or I wanted a trial separation.”
“He replied calm as anything, ‘No, I gave up on the marriage a long time ago.’ I still remember the feeling of truth that punch in the gut gave me. Needless to say, I skipped the trial separation and filed for divorce.”
“I was at a funeral for a man who was killed in an accident in his 30s.”
“I looked at his widow in the front row and wondered what I would feel if I were in her spot. My first thought was ‘free.’ That was the beginning of the end.”
“When he asked for a specific meal, to be made in a specific way, and when I did it, to his specifications, he was critical.”
“That was the moment I fully understood he was never going to be happy, never going to change, and I was in love with the fantasy of who I imagined he could be and wished he would be, and was suffering in real life. He didn’t, couldn’t, wouldn’t care for me, love me, believe me, choose me. So I finally left.”
“The night I slipped on ice and broke my arm.”
“We were out with friends and they had to persuade him to go to the hospital with me. He just sat beside me texting the whole time we were waiting for the doctor.”
“I saw one text he’d sent one of our friends who was asking if I was ok that said ‘she’s fine, she just fell like a twat.'”
“Then when I said I needed some pain relief and he shrugged and went back to his phone leaving me to walk back to the reception area, clutching my very clearly broken arm to my chest, to find a nurse to help me. We weren’t married, just engaged, but it was a real wake-up call that in sickness and in health was not gonna be a thing for him!”
“I had a stroke and my husband and his mom tried to gang up on me within a week because my husband was tired from taking care of the kids.”
“His mom kept asking me if I was drunk and lied to the cops to file a citizens arrest.”
“They wrongfully locked me out of my house and wouldn’t let me see my kids for a month too.”
“I could maybe deal with my husband but definitely not his [expletive] up family.”
All I can hope is that this user was able to get as far away from them as possible.
“9 months after my dad died my ex returned from deployment.”
“On a drive I spoke of my father and tears rolled down my cheeks. He said ‘how could you not be over this?’ It was shocking. He had only lost 1 (distant) grandmother in his 28 years of life. I had lost all my grandparents and my father. How could someone think like that?”
“I realised looking back at our messages to one another that it had been eighteen months since he told me he loved me.”
“And the fact that I’d gone searching for those words was worrying enough.”
“That night I sat him down and told him I’d been crying myself to sleep worrying about whether or not he still wanted the relationship to work.”
“I asked him to tell me he loved me, and for us to talk and figure out a way to get back to a good place.
“He told me I was being annoying, and then went to bed.”
“The proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back was when I told him he was being mean and he replied, ‘oh you haven’t even seen mean. You want me to show you what mean really is?'”
“Made a plan with my family to escape while he was at work one day soon after.”
“Left with only as many things as fit into my and my uncle’s car.”
“There are a thousand other moments that should have been marriage killing, but that was what finally did it for that one.”
If you or someone you know are experiencing intimate partner violence, there are resources that can help .
“I was really ill with a three week long stomach bug. I was so ill I nearly ended up in hospital.”
“He came round one day and just yelled at me because I was ill. I was so out of it I can’t even really remember what he said, just that he didn’t seem to like I was ill and couldn’t do anything. Goodbye!”
“When he grabbed my 4 year old by their shirt collar ripping out both shoulder seams.”
“It was their soccer shirt and had their name on it. We left and I sewed up the shirt and I still have it 30 years later. The kid is a wonderful person and all grown now.
“ETA- We would have left no matter what shirt it was.”
“When I discovered the reason we were running out of money every month wasn’t me taking the kids out to eat once or twice and ‘spending too much at the grocery store…'”
“But the fact that he was spending $1000 a month on cam girls. (He explicitly said it was my poor food money management causing the problems).”
“My pre teen kids and I were having supper, laughing and and talking about our day, basically having a wonderful family dinner because he was working late as usual (read out with the girlfriend).”
“We hear the sound of the garage door opening and my 13 year old son’s face just drops as he says; ‘[Expletive], he’s home.’ We all looked at each other and knew we all felt the same. I didn’t even have the heart to scold the kid. We were out of the house within 3 months.”
– u/rdh83
“My second husband and I went on a date.”
“At the restaurant, we didn’t have anything to say to each other. We sat in strained silence. In the car afterward, we were arguing. We stopped to look at some art I wanted to see, me determined to not ruin the night.”
“We kept arguing in the car again and I just finally had enough. I told him I wanted a divorce.”
“He just sucked the joy out of everything. He was a ‘my way or the highway’ type who kept a mental tally of all past wrongs. I couldn’t take it anymore. In retrospect, we should have divorced sooner.”
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“When his other wife called me.”
“He was out of town on work when she called, so that gave us enough time to meet up and exchange paperwork and make sure that I could also file charges against him for Bigamy. She only lived 40 mins away from me.”
