A wedding is a two-way street . Sure, it’s often regarded as the bride’s time to shine , but there’s also a groom involved (or a second bride, or no brides at all!).
That being said, you shouldn’t let anyone push their “vision” of what your wedding should be. Especially if they aren’t one of the people getting married. For one bride, though, her fiancé and future mother-in-law are wayyy too pushy.
A bride-to-be posted her story to Reddit.
Consulting the Reddit community, a user (using a throwaway account) asked, ” AITA for my reaction when I learned that my fiancé returned my wedding dress and replaced it with the one his mom picked for me? “
“My fiancé M33, and I F28 are getting married in December. His mom is the intrusive type but she’s nice overall and we….somewhat get along.”
“I hate to admit that wedding planning has been an absolute nightmare,” she says. “His mom wasn’t willing to agree on most things, and my fiancé said that since he’s her only son then I should respect and appreciate this ‘vision’ she has for the wedding and how it should be.”
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“She insisted to come along for wedding dress shopping. I took her with me and my mom and friends.”
“I was so lucky to have found what I was looking for. But she picked a dress that she liked so much and said that ‘she always pictured her son’s bride in it’ mom and friends thought this line was creepy. I thought the dress was somewhat creepy and toooootally not my type.
“I apologized and thanked her for her ‘vision’ but told her that I’d already decided on a dress that I had ‘envisioned’ myself wearing at my wedding!”
She then talks about how she got into a fight with her fiancé about it.
She continued by saying, “he came home in the evening ranting about how I made his mom upset and ‘turned down’ her help in choosing the wedding dress and excluded her from the process. I asked ‘what process?’ duh it’s just a wedding dress…my wedding dress so I really didn’t get how she should get a say at all!”
“Yesterday I came home and found out that he had returned my wedding dress and replaced it with the one his mom wanted.”
“I called him and he was straightforward about what he did and why he did it. I lost it and started screaming at him. He asked me to calm down and really give this dress ‘a chance.’ I refused to even listen I screamed at him without giving him a chance to speak.”
“I then went to stay with one of my friends and he kept calling and calling then texting saying that I overreacted and it’s his wedding too so it wasn’t cool how I screamed at him.”
“He insisted I give this dress a chance. He went on and on about how his mom has a ‘vision’ and good intentions and just wants what best for me as her future daughter-in-law.”
“Mom is livid and has been wanting to go scream at him and his mom but my dad said that this isn’t worth ruining my relationship with my in-laws.”
“He suggested I wizen up and ‘go with the flow’ but is it too much for me to be able to pick my own wedding dress without being guilted about it just to keep the peace?”
In the weeks since the story was posted, it got a lot of attention.
Tens of thousands of upvotes, and a number of awards were given to the post since it was uploaded last month. And of course, commenters weighed in on whether or not OP was overreacting.
Of course, commenters overwhelmingly sided with OP.
A lot of people pointed out how this kind of behavior is pretty telling of how things will be in the future.
One commenter wrote, “NTA. It’s good that this is happening now. This is not a dynamic that is going to change with either your fiancé or his mother. RUN.”
In fact, most commenters cautioned OP to get out of that relationship.
Another user said, “NTA. But this isn’t really about a dress, is it? This is about boundaries and about a fiancé who is already making it clear how you rate compared to his mom. Run far. Run fast. Don’t look back.”
It’s pretty obvious that she shouldn’t marry this man, according to Reddit.
What do you think? Let us know in the comments!