In recent years, it’s become more common to see people speak out against others exhibiting “toxic masculinity,” which describes mentally (and sometimes physically) damaging behavior done in the name of achieving a narrow idea of manliness.
Whether this involves dismissing someone’s feelings after a major disappointment in life, criticizing men for supporting their families in way that aren’t sufficiently “masculine,” or dealing with intense feelings through violent acts, this concept underscores how people can make each other’s lives worse by trying to live up to someone’s traditional idea of rugged manliness.
But even though we can point to many modern examples of this old idea at work, it’s not often that we come across a case as dangerous and frankly baffling as the story we’re about to get into.
Before she shared her dilemma, the woman we’re about to hear from established that she grew up in a family where the men prank and tease each other.
And as she explained in a Reddit post , her dad, brother, cousin and uncle had every intention of carrying on this tradition with her fiancé, who they see as soft and presumably not a “real man.”
For this reason, they’ve subjected him to a series of “tests” to find out what kind of a man he is by grilling him about religion, gender equality, and hypothetical scenarios about hunting and fishing.
However, if these “tests” and pranks already don’t seem that funny to you, it didn’t long before they crossed the line even further.
According to the woman, one occasion saw them slash his tires, which they justified as a means to test whether he could change them himself or get help like “lazy” guys.
But the worst of their behavior came while they took the fiancé on a three-day trip.
Apparently convinced that his asthma wasn’t real and the result of him making “excuses,” they decided to hide his inhaler.
For that reason, the trip didn’t even last seven hours before he told the woman about it, saying that they had admitted to hiding it as a “challenge.”
When she blew up at them for this, they asked if “little Timmy” tattled on them, at which point she uninvited all four of them from her wedding.
In the woman’s words, “Dad said they’ll apologize if I insist but Tim will have lost the little respect they’d gained for him and in their eyes will always be ‘the soft college kid’ who’s not up for the challenge.”
While none of their reactions compelled her to reconsider her decision, pressure from elsewhere in the family has left her asking Reddit whether she was right to stand firm on her ban.
And as far as the horrified commenters were concerned, uninviting them should just be the beginning.
As one user said , “Their ‘pranks’ went from wildly inappropriate to outright dangerous. They hid an inhaler from someone with asthma. Not only would I keep them disinvited, I’d go no contact completely.”
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As far as they were concerned, if she was in the wrong for any reason, it was letting these “pranks” carry on for as long as they did.
In the words of another person, “Apologize to this man. You’ve subjected him to a lot and you’ve let A LOT slide. Too much.”
h/t: Reddit | Throwawayfamily976
