Ever heard the saying “walk a mile in another person’s shoes”? It’s used to talk about empathy, and the ways in which we can better understand someone if we try to imagine ourselves in their place.
There are a lot of difficult aspects that come with being a woman, but there are also a lot of difficult aspects that come with being a man.
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Regardless of whether you’re able to empathize with the opposite sex enough to see their hardship, it is easy to see that our society raises men to think that talking about their issues connotes weakness, and as such, these issues are not talked about very much.
The women of the internet took to Reddit recently to share what they think is the hardest part about being a man.
Want to know the odd part?
I’ll admit that I’m hearing a lot of these issues for the very first time, which proves that we need to make space in social conversation for men to talk about issues such as mental health, self esteem, and pressures to be ‘manly enough’.
Sadie Hawkins
“Overall, I think it’s more difficult for guys to get dates,” one woman shared. “I know it seems like ‘oh yeah, he could ask out anyone he wanted,’ but it doesn’t really work like that, and men are kinda expected to be the one who asks a girl out.”
Dad Duty
“Being less likely to gain custody of my own kids in a separation,” this woman shares. “Custody is almost always awarded to the woman.”
Riled Up
“Not having your emotions taken seriously,” one user writes. “Then lashing out because of it and then seen as violent because you just want to be understood.”
Stranger Danger
“Probably the stigma,” this woman shares. “I’ve seen a single father get shouted at for being with his kid when at a park for ‘trying to kidnap children’. The dude just wanted to make his son happy.”
Till Death Do Us Part
“How is DYING 7 YEARS SOONER not on the list?” one woman writes, “Men literally die before us on average. It’s insane.”
Romeo Romeo
“Having to chase after women,” this woman admits. “I’d give up halfway, honestly.”
The Dirty Work
“Being expected to be more effective at physical labor,” one user writes. “And being expected to do more dangerous work.”
One Bill
“The constant pressure in society that the man has to pay for meals, drinks, etc,” this woman writes, “I feel like it all would add up really quickly.”
Stay-At-Home Dad
“You know that thing that’s like, ‘Oh, you got stuck taking care of the kids today, huh? Giving Mom a day off, finally?'” this person writes. “Dads know what I’m talking about.”
Substitute
“I’d be afraid to be a male teacher,” one person writes. “How easy would it be to give a girl student a grade a failing grade they deserve or just pissing them off any kind of way, but it’s a crazy one who ends up accusing you of something awful?”
Protector
“Having to be the person physically in charge in a threatening situation,” one woman shares. “Like always being with a man when walking home from a party in a sketchy area at night. Yes there is safety in numbers but the dude is expected to be protective regardless of level of awareness, self defensive, or drunken-ness. That’s a lot of pressure.”
Come Again?
“Only 1 orgasm at a time,” this woman writes. “Man, that’s just disappointing.”
The Warrior
“People expecting that I could fight,” this woman writes. “That’s not a fair assumption to put on anybody.”
Man’s Job
“Honestly, probably people just assuming that you’ll do all of the gross shit that no one else wants to do,” this woman admits. “Fixing up the car? Unclogging the toilet? Cleaning out the spider webs in the attic? Scrubbing the mildew out of the bathtub? Guys are just expected to do it all without complaint because that’s the ‘manly’ thing to do. As a woman, I find it pretty unfair.”
Stone Cold
“I would not be allowed a moment of weakness,” this woman writes. “Bad day? You can’t cry unless your mother just died. Hurt yourself? Suck it up and go to the hospital. Feeling self conscious about your body? Nobody cares.”
Back Splash
“I cannot fathom how a guy sits down to poop and their junk is what just chilling inside the toilet?” one user writes. “Do you lift them and rest them on the toilet seat? I have no idea how dudes do it. Do you get back splash on your ball sack?”
Feeling Fine
“Probably being forced to never… well, feel,” this person writes. “There are so many people who make fun of guys for having feelings or even showing them. I would never be able to deal with it, and my heart broke the day my boyfriend told me his exes used to verbally abuse him for crying in front them.”
Honey I’m Home
“Being expected to be the ‘breadwinner'” this person writes. “It’s just expected generally by society, even today.”
Work It
“The constant insecurity of whether you’re ‘man enough,'” this person admits. “I have a friend like this. He gets upset when someone out-grips him on a handshake. I mean… Very upset… becomes the main topic of discussion for at least 5 minutes.”
Fight Back
“Being arrested for defending myself against an abusive partner,” one woman shares.
Not The Same
“No one would bat an eye if you said you were sexual assaulted or harassed,” this woman writes.
I’m A Creep
“Being called creepy if I don’t look the best or if I try to get a girl,” this woman shares, “My sister summed this up perfectly when I asked her if its creepy for a guy to hit on her at the gym: ‘Depends on how hot he is.'”
Double Standard
“Most women think there’s nothing wrong with being abusive and cruel with men,” this woman writes, “It’s so upsetting watching women treat men like absolute trash. To top it off, men are expected to still act like ‘a gentleman.'”
Hard Time
“Harsher prison sentences/conditions,” this woman writes, “No matter what the crime is.”
Tall Order
“Having everyone discredit and treat you poorly if you’re not over 5’10,” this person writes, “Like you’re a 5’5 guy and every girl turns you down cause of your height. I know not every girl is tallest but if every single short guy can tell you a couple stories of being turned down cause of their height then I mean come on.”
Duty
“Compulsory military service,” this person writes, “I don’t think I have to say more. It’s an attack on life.”
Pride
“I think the ‘gay panic’ stuff would be the most annoying,” this person writes, “Guys can’t make physical contact other than punching each other in the shoulder or high-fiving without it being considered gay. Sometimes I wanna give my friend a platonic hug or touch their hair or something, and if I was a man I’d probably be afraid to do that.”
Cat Walk
“Clothing options!” one woman shares, “Maybe man me wouldn’t be as much of a fashionista as I am, but if I was the same exact person as a man then I’d be so bummed out over clothes all the time!”
Cover Up
“Male chauvinism,” this person writes, “It affects men too. There are a lot of people who still mock men for crying, wearing pink, or for the way they treat woman, and don’t get me started if you, as a men, want to wear some make up to hide some imperfections. Its like its expected for men to be tough and manly always.”
Seeing Spots
“Going bald,” this woman writes, “Sure, it effects some women, but it generally effects a lot more men.”
Stubble
“Shaving every morning!” this woman writes, “I can’t imagine doing that. Honestly I’d prefer having my period every month lmao! If I mess up the shave my face will be busted and it seems painful and itchy when it grows back too.”
Best Buds
“I feel like women have more kind friendships if that makes sense?” this person writes, “Like I feel like a lot of the guys I know seem to have more active, teasing relationships. I don’t know how to explain it but I think I’d find that hard.”
Only Hope
“Having a higher suicide rate but depression and other mental illnesses being pretty taboo,” this woman shares. “What sense does that make?”
Night Changes
“Being considered a possible threat by strangers, probably,” this woman shares. “Like, I get it, you never know, but it would probably suck.”
The Results Are In
“As a woman, I will never, ever have any doubt that my children are mine,” this woman writes. “As a man, that is something I can never be 100% sure of. Imagine that heartbreak. I will never have to experience that.”
