Breaking up is rarely fun, even when it’s mutual. And, few things are more heartbreaking than when someone cheats on you.
We asked women how they coped after infidelity in their relationships. Here’s what they had to say about heartbreak and healing.
Cheating can be the ultimate betrayal.
Whether you’re married or in a serious relationship, trust is the foundation of a good relationship. When someone cheats, it breaks that trust and intimacy you shared.
Some women are struggling in the immediate aftermath.
Kristin Walker was just one of many women who were in immense pain after a partner cheated, saying, “I’m struggling daily! I trusted him with my life and he made me feel like a fool after 14 years.”
Right after someone cheats, it’s hard to move on.
As Feroza Joseph explained, “Totally messed up. Didn’t see it coming. I don’t even know where all the shattered pieces are that I need to pick up and put together. Too soon. Too painful.”
It’s not just women who feel the pain of a partner cheating.
Men who were cheated on express similar feelings of loss and hurt. As Robert Franciski found through his experience, “Stayed with mine…. 34 years later and the pain still comes. Once trust is gone it doesn’t come back.”
Despite the pain, most people do move on.
While some people found they never moved on completely, others found healing, especially with time.
The process may take longer than you’d like, but remember, there is hope.
Cheating can be a blessing in disguise.
Duchess Lesa shared that being cheated on allowed her to live her best life. In response to our prompt of how you are doing, she said, “Fantastic! My life has done nothing but get better and better every day since I decided to leave him in the rearview.”
It can even lead you to the love of your life.
When a spouse or partner cheats, you may feel like you’ve lost your soulmate, but maybe they just weren’t the one.
For Cheryl Beecher, leaving a cheater led her to a better relationship. “I lived through it. Got divorced because of it. I married a second time and that marriage lasted until his death.”
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Loneliness is hard but doesn’t last forever.
If you leave your cheating partner, you may feel lonely at first. But this feeling won’t last forever. You’ll find love in your life, whether with a romantic partner or family and friends.
Friends can be a big support.
Many commenters found that the support of family and friends helped them move on.
Jackie McKeethen Clark had a great friend to remind her of her worth. “A friend took me to the side and told me in a year you’ll wonder what the heck you are so upset about. And she was right. I had three kids, got a better job and didn’t miss him at all.”
It’s also good to find the humor through the pain.
Being cheated on sucks, whether you work through it with your partner or not. If you don’t, you can laugh about it eventually.
As Niecy Jaxn said, “I’m good and life is good. He’s someone else’s headache now. She just doesn’t know it yet. She thinks she caught a prize.”
Remember, you are the prize.
When someone cheats on you, it’s easy to feel like it’s your fault or something is wrong with you.
But we recommend taking the attitude of Kristie Slaton Hope who said, “I am absolutely fabulous. What I thought was the end was only the true beginning of my life.”
Even if you don’t feel hopeful, spite can get you through.
Look, sometimes it’s okay to feel anger after someone does you wrong. While you don’t have to stoop to their level, you can wish them…not well.
As Cristy-Anne Bobeck said, “It’s been a joy to watch Karma play out.”
Freedom can be its own reward.
Some relationships are bad before cheating, so cheating can be the final sign to move on.
Sandy Voelcker Billing found that she is “so much better – I should write a thank you note to the POS who put the final nail in the coffin that was our marriage.”
You will be OK!
If you were recently cheated on, it might feel like the pain is too much. But, while our readers expressed grief around cheating, the overall message was hopeful. You will heal and find happiness again!
