Getting gifts from family members can be a really tricky situation. Sometimes, they get you exactly what you want and other times, they step over boundaries with the gifts they want to give to us.
Sometimes, our in-laws and “inherited” family members can be a bit inappropriate with gifts.
Whether it’s stepping over boundaries or getting too personal, we’re not quite sure what to do about it when these things don’t sit right with us — especially when it comes to gifts.
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Recently, one daughter-in-law wrote into Reddit seeking some much-needed advice.
The woman wrote into the “Am I The Asshole?” thread asking if she was wrong for the way she reacted to this very “personal” gift from her in-laws.
The woman said she was “gifted” a bunch of baby things, a calendar, and even a pregnancy test.
“Sunday she and my father-in-law stopped by with our holiday ‘gift.’ She does not like to give gift cards or money for gifts for some reason. Inside the gift was [sic] two pregnancy tests, a teddy bear dressed as a baby, and a calendar for tracking cycles,” she wrote.
She shared that she was “shocked” when she received them.
Aside from the fact that the couple had just moved and asked for “no Christmas gifts,” she was surprised that her MIL would be so pushy after the couple has already decided they’re not ready for kids.
The DIL said it was “a useless gift” and also inappropriate.
“I told her they weren’t going to be used anytime soon so they would be better returning the gifts or giving them to someone else who would use them. She was upset of course but said I keep them ‘just in case’ and it feels like she is undermining me again,” she said.
Her husband, however, believes she is “overreacting” to his pushy mother.
“I threw away the tests and toy and calendar after they left. My husband thinks I am overreacting and they just want to ‘encourage’ us but this is overstepping to me. His mother thinks I was disrespectful denying the gift like I did, she does not know I threw them away,” she wrote.
Many on Reddit said this DIL has every right to feel uncomfortable and upset.
“This is way beyond overstepping. This is… overjumping and then grabbing a plane and speeding ahead through a black hole to an alternate universe where such behavior would still be inappropriate,” one person wrote.
Another person said it seems that this MIL wants to be involved in every single aspect of their marriage.
“Ask your husband if he wants you to start messaging his mother every time you have sex. Because she seems inordinately interested in your sex life and he doesn’t think it’s a big deal. Maybe offer to include a rating as to how likely you think conception would be from each session. Oh and you should be sending her updates on your menstrual cycle too.
People really need to learn to keep their noses out of business that doesn’t concern them,” they said.
One person said that if the couple does decide to have children, they need to set boundaries for that right now.
“I would inform her that you are not an incubator. Your husband needs to be a stop to this now. I would bet $10000000000000000 that when a baby does come she’s a major boundary stomper- put those boundaries up NOW,” someone added.
What do you think? Was this gift inappropriate?
