One of the hardest aspects of being a parent is doing right by your kids in a way that directly opposes what they want.
Whether that’s because they’re directly putting themselves in danger or going down what seems like a destructive path , parents can find themselves intervening in a way that their children may hate them for, but that also may save their lives in the long run.
That said, it’s also true that parents who feel like they know best can end up driving a completely unnecessary wedge between them and their children by clinging to an idea that’s either outdated or was flat-out wrong to begin with.
And of course, it’s not easy to recognize our own failings at the best of times, but one story about a very important watch illustrates how much damage can result when that rift is left to fester.
For most of her life, the woman we’re about to hear from has been waiting for her 20th birthday.
As she explained in a Reddit post , that’s because of a family tradition that sees the first-born receive a pocket watch that belonged to her great-grandfather.
This watch carries a lot of significance because after this man became a teacher, he partially funded the first black-owned school in his community and rose to the title of headmaster after years of being instrumental to his neighbors’ well-being. When this happened, he was given the watch as a gesture of thanks.
And at first, the woman’s 20th birthday party seemed like everything she had dreamed it would be because one of her presents looked like it was in that watch’s box.
However, when she opened the present, she saw that the watch inside was some digital model with a load of features that her father excitedly rhymed off.
In her words, “It was a good watch to be honest but it wasn’t THE watch.”
And since for all of its impressive features, this watch didn’t have a fraction of the meaning the pocket watch had to her, she left the table in tears.
And she didn’t see any reason to dry those tears when she learned why she didn’t receive her great-grandfather’s pocket watch.
As she said, “He said he wanted to give it to my younger brother who is 12 since he is boy.”
The logic behind this decision was that he assumed she would get married to a man and thus join his family instead of being a part of her own. It turned out that all the first-born children who received this watch in the past were male and her father wanted to keep it that way.
It’s worth noting that the brother was always less close to her father than her and had no interest at all in the watch.
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As the woman put it, “We got into an argument and it ended with him saying my immaturity over such a small matter is why he wouldn’t have given the watch to me even if l was a boy.”
As she and her father haven’t spoken since, the woman wondered if her reaction really did put her in the wrong and the consensus from Reddit was that she had every right to be upset by his actions.
As one user said, “It obvious isn’t a small matter, or your father wouldn’t have been so desperate to bribe you with this other watch. Your father knew that you wanted the watch, and knew that you would be disappointed. He is blaming you for your reaction to his own sexist behavior, instead of taking responsibility for that behavior.”
They also noted that the fact this only came up now suggested that the father was willing to let her mistakenly think she’d ever receive the watch for over a decade.
h/t: Reddit | Initial-Start758
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