Everyone loves getting gifts, am I right? Big or small, receiving something nice from someone is thoughtful and sometimes sentimental. It’s nice to be thought of and considered, especially for special occasions. However, there are times when we receive a gift that we absolutely hate. Sometimes, we just don’t like the item at all and instead, opt to return it. But, what if the gift is from your significant other and you just can’t return it?
Recently, one wife opened up online how she’s “still upset” after receiving a gift from her husband a year later.
The wife opened up on Reddit , seeking advice on whether or not she was “wrong” for still being upset by the gift she received from her husband a year ago.
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To give the community context, she shared that she and her husband are incredibly close.
The two have been together almost 10 years and they are “inseparable.” She said they are each other’s best friends and are constantly spending time together unless they are at work.
Due to this, the couple frequently shops together, too.
“I say this to make it clear this man knows me very well. We shop together, and so he has probably seen hundreds of jewelry items that I have said I really like and wear, and hundreds more I have said are not for me,” she wrote.
The wife said that her husband also knows she never wears “gold jewelry.”
“White gold is fine as well as any old Fart mart steel, I’m not asking for expensive anything, seriously, I wear Walmart hoops- but if the metal doesn’t appear silver, it’s just not my taste. I’ve been this way since college. It’s a part of who I am — jewelry I wear is silver in color,” she wrote.
Her husband decided to get her a present that he thought that she would like.
“About 4 years ago, my husband was at work, and a client of his had a ring for sale. I’m sure you can guess what it looked like. When he gave it to me, I want to be clear! I wasn’t rude, I said, ‘It’s so sweet of you to get me a gift,’ and thanked him,” she said.
The woman tucked the jewelry away in a box, but her husband noticed that she wasn’t wearing it.
“I put it in my jewelry box and waited. I didn’t say anything negative, but I didn’t wear it either. He noticed and when he brought it up, I told him the truth. Not harshly, but not gently either,” she wrote.
The ring itself, she said, was something she definitely did not like.
Apparently, the ring was both gold and heart-shaped — two things the wife said she would never, ever wear. She relayed this information to her husband, saying it’s not about the money but about knowing her taste.
She said that she feels as though her husband doesn’t know her at all.
“This gift says to me: ‘I don’t know you at all, and your personality is very generic to me, much like this gift.’
“It’s actually deeply insulting to me that my best friend who is supposed to ‘get’ me would get me a gift that looks like he could have easily bought it for any woman and expect her/ me to like it,” she said on Reddit.
Some people said that she was wrong and had expectations that are “too high.”
“I think your expectations might be a little bit too high. I’m sure you both love each other very much, but honestly to remember every preference you have about jewelry is a bit much. Especially since there’s quite a lot of specific preferences you’ve got there,” the commenter said.
However, other people said it isn’t hard to remember your significant other’s preference.
“It’s really not that hard to remember. Silver only. No hearts. If you want to splurge, save and really splurge. I’ve only read that once and I know I’d remember it. The husband has no reason to not remember it,” another added.
One user said she was “appalled” over how this woman was handling the situation.
“40-year-old lady here with similar preferences for [jewelry]. There’s expecting your partner to know what you like in your coffee, then there’s expecting your partner to know very detailed preferences for a very specific and niche thing.
“As a widow, I’m appalled at the people who hold grudges against their [partners] for such small things,” one user wrote.
Some people thought the OP was reading into the situation too much.
“There’s a big difference between ‘my husband doesn’t know me’ and ‘my husband doesn’t pay attention to certain aspects of my behavior’,” one user pointed out.
Others chimed in, sharing their own experiences of how their spouses constantly forget their small preferences, but said it is a memory issue, not a relationship issue.
Another user with similar preferences agreed that it isn’t asking too much to remember a few details when it comes to jewelry.
“I don’t think it’s unreasonable for her to assume he knows she likes silver jewelry and nothing cutesy. Especially after 6 years together. My exes have all understood and remembered after a month or two, and I am pretty similar to OP in tastes jewelry wise and it’s simple to remember,” one person said.
The OP responded to people’s comments and said they were still missing the heart of the issue.
The OP maintained that the issue wasn’t the gift itself — it was that she felt that her husband genuinely didn’t pay attention to her preferences.
“I want him to know me, to have heard and observed me these many MANY times [because] he cared enough to watch what I’ve expressed as a human being – and pay attention,” she said.
Do you think her opinion is an overreaction? Or is it justified?
