Most people make it very clear who’s invited and who’s not invited to their wedding.
Usually this happens by explicitly stating on the invitation which members of the household are welcome to attend, perhaps even explaining that the ceremony will be “child-free” so parents know they’ll be needing a babysitter that night.
But in my experience, wedding invites don’t generally need to outright say pets aren’t welcome on the big day because…well, that’s just kind of a given.
That being said, the unspoken rule of “no four-legged plus-ones” becomes a bit blurred when it comes to service and support animals.
If you know upfront that a guest requires one of these animals, it’s really only fair for you to do your best to accommodate them and their aid, and to help make them feel as welcomed and as comfortable as possible.
But what if a guest’s service or support animal proves a nuisance to the rest of the wedding’s attendees? What happens then?
One such person recently took to Reddit to explain the situation and the subsequent backlash they’ve received that they feel is unfair.
In a post shared to the subreddit r/AmITheAsshole, the unnamed woman explained that she attended a wedding last year with her boyfriend and brought along her 8-year-old cat, who she said is an emotional support animal “approved by medical professionals”.
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Apparently, she suffers from some pretty bad anxiety, but has found that her cat actually helps calm her down when things get to be too much to handle.
Since crowds are a pretty big source of that anxiety, and since she knew there would be lots of people attending this particular wedding, the woman said she needed to bring the cat to prevent any panic attacks on the day-of.
It’s also important to note that the people getting married knew one of their guests would be bringing a support animal with them.
And in fact, they even gave that guest permission to do so. As the woman [wrote]( https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jb2qri/aita_for_bringing_my_cat_licensed_esa_to_a/ :
“I didn’t know the bride or groom really well since they were my [boyfriend’s] school friends, but he did ask beforehand on my behalf if I could bring my support animal, and they said yes.”
On the big day, the woman and her boyfriend showed up with her cat, ready to watch the lovebirds tie the knot.
Initially, the cat was kept on a leash and inside a soft crate to try and minimize the threat of any potential wedding disruptions. But that setup didn’t last very long at all.
“Since I started feeling ‘off’ the minute we got there, she was out of her crate and in my lap the entire time,” the woman explained.
Although she insists the wedding went “fine”, she did admit there were a few instances where her cat got on people’s nerves.
First, the feline felt compelled to groom itself during the ceremony, which resulted in the leash making a light “tinkling” sound as it moved around on the woman’s lap.
“Some people looked in our direction in annoyance,” she recalled, “but I quickly unzipped her so the noise would stop.”
The next disturbance happened during the reception that followed the ceremony.
While the woman and her boyfriend were sitting and enjoying their dinner, she noticed her cat, though still leashed, had disappeared underneath the table.
“I realized she had scratched a little bit of the table legs and some of the overhanging cloth,” she explained. “I immediately told my [boyfriend] and we both made a mental note to tell the bride/groom afterwards and compensate them.”
Since that day, the woman said she hasn’t really thought much about the wedding and her cat’s behavior.
That is, until this year when she suddenly finds herself being criticized for bringing her emotional support animal to the ceremony.
She and her boyfriend are temporarily staying in his hometown right now, and they thought it would be nice to catch up with some of his friends there. But it seems no one is particularly keen on seeing them .
After some “hemming and hawing”, the friends have finally admitted why exactly they’re so reluctant about getting together with the couple.
As the woman wrote,
“They told [my boyfriend] they didn’t want to see me, aka ‘the crazy cat lady who brought an untrained cat to someone else’s wedding.’ I found that so hurtful and untrue but even more so because no one said anything to me after all this time.”
Now that she’s actually being forced to consider her actions from a year ago, the woman has just one question for the people of Reddit: was she an asshole for bringing her cat to someone’s wedding?
The answer was a unanimous, “yes”.
“An emotional support animal is not the same as a service animal,” this person pointed out. “Your cat was not trained and created a disturbance during intimate moments in the wedding.”
Someone else added, “It’s inappropriate and obtrusive for you to bring your cat to a wedding. Loads of people are allergic to cats…Your cat literally destroyed other people’s property so you didn’t even fully watch her appropriately.”
Some people even questioned whether the bride and groom actually gave permission for the cat to attend, or if they really knew what they were agreeing to.
“Although you received permission from the bride and groom, it must have been given under the impression your cat was trained — which your cat is not,” this user wrote.
Another chimed in, “Did she REALLY receive permission to being her cat, or did BF ask if she could bring her ‘service’ animal? I’m wondering if he misrepresented it, or even asked at all.”
Then there were those who took issue with the fact that the woman actually let her cat out of her sight during the evening.
This user , who also has an ESA, slammed the woman for her actions:
“You let [the cat] out of your sight long enough to allow it to cause damage. That is NEVER acceptable. When I go anywhere with my ESA, I have hands and/or eyes on it at all times. My emotional support needs should never come at the expense or inconvenience of others. AND if you were feeling well enough during the reception to let the cat hang out under the table, IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN THE CARRIER.”
Overall, many people said the woman should have simply skipped the wedding altogether if she couldn’t handle being there without her cat.
As this person wrote, “If you can’t leave your house without an emotional crutch you don’t have under control and isn’t trained, then stay home. You are totally a crazy cat lady.”
What do you think of this situation? Was the woman wrong for bringing her emotional support cat to a wedding, or should her boyfriend’s friends give her a bit of a break? Let us know!
h/t: Reddit
