In today’s society, many women wear bras and many women do not. There’s no “rule” that says all women must wear bras. Some women with larger chests like wearing bras for support, while women simply don’t always feel the need to wear one. Whatever their decision, most women feel confident that it’s their choice to wear one or not.
Recently, however, one woman wrote in to Reddit about a problem that happened in her work place.
The woman wrote into the popular Reddit “Am I the Asshole?” subreddit asking if she was an “asshole” for not wearing a bra to work.
The woman said she started a brand new job.
“Day 1 of my new job. I wear a sweater and pants to work. I do not wear a bra. I [had] never worn a bra for two years at my previous job, and nobody has ever brought it up,” she wrote.
She shared that she hates bras and finds them uncomfortable.
However, people at work had problems with her attire.
“Two people come up to me during the day, and say that what I’m wearing is inappropriate and that I should wear a bra to work. This is a new job, I don’t even know any of these people,” she added.
However, the woman was completely covered up.
“I’m literally wearing a sweater, you can’t see anything, I’m all covered up. (You can’t see anything except the shape of my boobs, I guess). One woman literally told me these words, as she was complaining about my clothes. I have large boobs, but I feel that what I’m wearing is completely normal,” she shared.
The next day, people still had problems with her attire.
“Day 2 of my new job. I do not wear a bra, but I wear a t-shirt and a jacket on top of that. I am dressed even more conservatively [than] day 1. Two more people give me similar criticisms again,” she continued.
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Her boss’ secretary mentioned to her that she’s not following “etiquette.”
“I mention to her that the office literally has no dress code and that employees can wear what is comfortable. She says that there is still an unspoken etiquette to be followed. She also mentioned that the shape of my boobs [was] clearly visible,” she said.
She explained that her previous job at no issues with it.
“For the two years I spent at my [previous] office, I did not wear a bra once. I usually wore sweaters or t-shirts or blouses, most of the time along with a jacket. Even though I may have large breasts, I did not see it as inappropriate or a problem,” she continued.
She asked people on Reddit if she was in the wrong for not wanting to wear a bra.
While many people said she’s not the asshole for wanting to go bra-less, she is risking the loss of her job over it which is silly.
“The real question is whether this is a hill that you want to die on. Bras are a pretty standard attire requirement, reasonable for not. As the new person in the office, you do not have credibility to push back on that expectation without serious career repercussions. If people notice you are not wearing a bra, something about your outfit was off.
I say you are NTA, but you need to wear a bra or find some way for it to be unnoticeable that you are bra-free if you want to be able to focus on your work at work,” one person said.
Others said if people can “tell” she’s not wearing one, then it is probably inappropriate.
“In a professional setting, no one should be able to tell you aren’t wearing a bra. If they can tell, it’s unprofessional and inappropriate,” one person added.
One person even offered some advice. “
“Part of working in a professional setting is dressing professionally. While it sucks, having larger breasts makes it harder to go braless and for others not to notice. Now, while I agree, it might not be the most appropriate thing for your coworkers (who are still virtually strangers) to come up to you to tell you to put a bra on,” another person said.
Another said if her boss has a problem with it, then it’s a problem.
“I hate to say this to you but it doesn’t matter what we, a bunch of people on the internet, think, if your supervisor’s secretary has told you you need to wear a bra then your supervisor has discretely told you to wear a bra. I say this having been an admin for 15+ years.
Wear a bra, before your supervisor calls you in to their office and tells you themselves or writes you up,” another said.
One Reddit user said that it’s really her fault at this point.
“This is not your previous office. Whatever you think about how much shows people can tell you have no bra. You have been told multiple times it is unacceptable for this office. Wear a bra or find another place to work,” they commented.
However, some were “conflicted.”
“I’m honestly conflicted about this one. Women’s breasts should be normalized, but society isn’t there yet and it is usually very noticeable. If I see it out and about, I don’t think much about it, but I would be surprised to see someone without one on in a formal workplace. I think context about what you do for work can also be a factor if you work with clients.
Overall I’m saying [no assholes here] because it should be normal, but I understand it making people uncomfortable because it’s not yet. If I were you, I would wear sports bras/bralettes/camis just to keep the peace since it’s a new workplace and you don’t want to be starting off on the wrong foot,” someone said.
Some said she’s not an “asshole” per se…
“Are you an a-hole? No. But you might be an unemployed [not the asshole] if you don’t get on board with standards of professionalism in the workplace,” a Reddit user added.
Do you agree, or do you think this woman has a right to forgo a bra at work?
