How would you react if you found out your spouse-to-be ran a background check on you?
Yeah, it would be pretty weird, and almost unbelievable. But that’s exactly the predicament a Redditor found herself in after finding out her husband ran a background check on her and her family.
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How did she find out?
In the thread , OP explains that she was on vacation with her hubby’s family and stayed behind during some of their activities.
“He let me borrow his laptop because I left mine at home,” she wrote. “I made a folder with my name and I was searching for it when I found another folder with my name.”
“The folder was full of reports on me, my family and two of my childhood friends.”
Yikes. OP says that, at first she just felt hurt. But as she read on, she started to feel angry that her husband would have done something like this. She decided to confront her husband, in front of the rest of his family.
“I exploded on him.”
“At first, he tried to say it wasn’t a big deal and his cousin chimed in to say it was normal and he wasn’t the only one who had done it in their family,” she wrote.
“When he saw I wasn’t calming down he tried to get me to go into our room so we could talk about it privately but I told him I wasn’t going anywhere with him and I was leaving.”
She stayed at a hotel for the night.
From there, she made the post on Reddit to determine if she was in the right or in the wrong for blowing up at her husband.
Spoiler alert: she definitely wasn’t in the wrong, because that whole background check thing is seriously weird.
What did Reddit have to say?
If you comb through the thousand-plus responses, there are a few dissenting opinions. Some commenters point out that if OP’s hubby comes from a wealthy family that was concerned about her taking his money, the background check could kinda-sorta be justified.
Did she overreact?
Another semi-common theme among the commenters was posters pointing out that OP may have been a tad dramatic when she blew up at her husband in front of his extended family. Perhaps she could have discussed things in private.
Overall, though, the verdict is clear.
One thing that gets lost in the shuffle is that OP’s husband has hung on to the info for at least three years.
“Why does he still have all of it? They’ve been married for three years and he’s just sitting on all this information?” asked one commenter. “If he just wanted to make sure she was genuine with a clean record, then he did that. Why keep all this for so long?”
Her hubby really went above and beyond.
One commenter was weirded out by the thoroughness of the information.
“I don’t think it’s super unusual to do a background check on someone, but the fact that it’s your family, extended family, and friends leads me to believe that is is some stalky BS, and I’d break out too,” they wrote.
Why didn’t he tell her?
“He did these checks before you got married, married you, and you only found out by accident,” wrote one commenter. “So it seems like he never planned on telling you what he’d done. So much for trust in the relationship.”
Do you think this is normal?
Lots of us have done some cursory Googling on someone before a date, but this seems extreme. Be sure to check out the thread , and then let us know how you’d handle this situation in the comments.
