Raising kids can be a complicated and stressful experience. We are constantly reading and hearing things that other people believe are the “right ways” to raise children. However, not everything that other people say works for your own kids. Sometimes, what people think can be the opposite of what works for your family. That’s why many people tend to raise their kids in ways that best works for them.
However, there are some times when parents think that they are doing the right things and in the end, they regret the habits that they’ve created in their kids. One mother opened up about her regrets with establishing excessive screentime in her son.
Mom Charlotte Owen recently opened up about her parenting styles
The mom of two shared that when her son was younger, he would come into her bed and immediately want to start the day. It started innocently: She would put a show on her phone and allow her son to watch a show so she and her husband could get some more sleep. However, what started as a simple TV episode in bed soon turned into much more.
Her son didn’t sleep well
Some kids struggle with sleeping through the night, as Owen’s son did. She said she would be up three to four times a night, and then her son would wake up for the day around 5 a.m.
Of course, Owen would be exhausted and just wanted to get some rest for a bit longer, so she would bring her son into bed with her and her husband.
However, he didn’t lay there peacefully
Owen said her son would throw full-blown tantrums, arching his back and trying to crawl off the bed. But, if they let him watch a show, he would simply lay there quiet and enjoy whatever he was watching.
It was working for them at the time, but Owen said that they began to use their phone as a “digital dummy” and placated her son with it.
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Her son began to want screentime every day
At first, he would watch a show for a short amount of time, but then he would sit for up to an hour watching episodes of his favorite kid shows.
When he began to talk, some of his first words were, “Can I watch Paw Patrol on your phone, Mummy?” Owen said the “mom guilt” began to seep in big time.
If Owen says no, her son has a meltdown
The mom explained that when she denies her son screen time, he throws a tantrum. And when they’ve tried to go screen-free in the past — like when they have gone out to eat — they end up back where they started because they know deep down that their son will relax and quiet down if he’s watching something on their phone.
Screentime also helps Owen get things done for the day
The mom shared that it’s much easier to limit screen time when her husband is home, as there are two of them in the house with their kids.
But when her husband is at work all day and she needs to slip away to do something, screen time can sometimes be the only thing she has to rely on to help her parents.
This can mean up to seven hours, some days
Owen said that some days are easier than others — like when her son goes to nursery school and is out of the house or when her husband can help. But, when her husband isn’t around, and she’s on her own, some days, her son gets up to seven hours of screen time — simply to keep him occupied and happy.
Although it helps, research showcases it can be harmful
While a few episodes of a TV show help children stay occupied, some research shows that it can be harmful to their development. Studies show that it can increase a child’s emotional reactivity, aggression, and externalizing behaviors.
In addition, too much TV time can hinder a child’s cognitive and language development.
Experts suggest more interactive play and parental involvement
Many parenting experts and researchers advocate for extended, hands-on play and face-to-face interaction with parents instead of relying on screens. When children rely too much on screens and do not have parental engagement, it can harm their development and attention spans in the future.
The mom said she’s aware it’s a bad habit
Sometimes, Owen says, she thinks about how it could stifle her son’s creativity or prevent him from doing other things. But she also says it can be exhausting to parent and be “on” for 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
“Yes, I might not be the fun, engaging parent I should be — and I worry we’ve created a monster, so to speak, or that we’re dampening our children’s creativity. But motherhood is tough and we’re all just trying to get through it as best we can,” she said.
H/T: The Sun
