Don’t worry, it’s true for everybody. We all do little things that drive other humans nuts.
That’s life. Mind you, if your S.O. would eat the tops off all the muffins, that’s legit grounds for divorce.
Unfortunately, it’s often the sort of thing you can’t know for sure until you’ve actually been living under the same roof for a while.
Which is a hard way to learn! But communication is key.
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Well, one husband finally had enough of sharing a bathroom with his wife, and he let her know with a long note taped to the bathroom mirror.
His frustrations clearly boiled over, and this is how he blew his top.
“Babe can you remember 20 days ago, you said, ‘babe, I know my bathroom habits really piss you off, but I am going to change this year I promise!'” the note began.
“Unfortunately, not much has changed. In fact, it’s worse, to the point that I now suffer from Bathroom Surprise Anxiety.”
“I thought the idea of twin vanities in, meant we got our own – you know, His and Hers.”
“Why is it then, that my vanity basin becomes a permanent storage container for your make-up brushes, bottles, lipsticks and whatever other ‘girl-magic’ you practice.”
“You have 4 drawers and I have 1. Do you have some sort of drawer FOMO that incites you to invade my only drawer area?”
“Granted I do have the top drawer vanity — and this is so I don’t have to bend down as far to get MY things: remember I am 6ft effing 6, compared to your 5ft 7, and I have 2 titanium hips, so bending isn’t my strong point.”
Then he gets into some detail: itemized, point form beefs with specific examples, starting with toothpaste habits.
“How effing hard is it to put the lid back on the tube so that the next person (i.e. me) comes along to use it and it’s not dry and congealed like roadkill. Do we need his and hers toothpaste?? If I didn’t love you quite as much I may be tempted to sabotage the toothpaste with some foreign matter (use your imagination) to teach you a lesson.”
Yikes.
“Bath towels: they belong on hooks not on the floor! For your well-educated benefit, the Oxford Concise dictionary defines HOOK as the device that protrudes from the wall for you to hang things on.”
“Deodorant: 3 words, use your own!”
“The flush: contrary to your belief that flush is the term describing a winning hand in poker, the Flush is also plumbing term. Look it up. Practice it.”
“My razor: My grandpa told me that blokes should never ever share razors, I wonder what the the old man would have said about a man’s wife using his razor?”
“American Crew Fibre: this is a male hair product (and I don’t give a s*** about political correctness, it’s a bloody male hair product),” he writes,
“yet I continually see your paw prints inside it with lid of course nowhere to be found, so when I need to use it, it is like a cross between a panel beaters bog and polyspak filler instead of beautifully textured paste.”
“Bathroom bin: tell me honestly, do you believe in some sort of bathroom bin fairy?”
“We have been together 8 years = 416 weeks, with the bin emptied once a week by me = 416 by me and donuts, zero, Roy Orbinson by you – any chance babe?”At least he concludes by saying “I love you very much — please change your bathroom habits.”
Now, some people had a problem with this frustrated hubby’s presentation — I don’t know too much about etiquette, but it sure sounds like he’s tried talking to her before, to no avail.
So maybe this note will help?
Others see an obvious solution: Time for separate bathrooms for these lovebirds.
Hey, if nothing else is working, maybe it’s for the best.
