I can’t tell you how unprepared you are for what you’re about to see.
The Instagram account @uglydesign is exactly what it sounds like — an account dedicated to the ugliest designs, products, and ideas out there. And my god, these things truly are uglier than you can imagine.
Now that I’ve totally failed to warn you for the horror in this article, let’s dive in.
StiletTOES.
It’s called fashion. Look it up.
These shoes sure are something! I feel like they’re what you’d get if you really failed at making a Balenciaga sneaker knockoff. Or something. It’s so cursed.
WHY?
WHY? WHY? Who looked at this shirt and figured the armpits needed to be bedazzled with gold beads and lace? This is just so wrong, it’s almost right.
Wait. No. It’s just wrong.
And here we have the world’s most useless chair.
How would one even sit in this thing? And why would you want to? Listen, I understand that art can be anything, but I draw the line at shoe chairs.
I mean, this isn’t going to accomplish anything.
Points for creativity, for sure. But a knitted mask isn’t going to do anything to stop a virus, and…who am I kidding? No one is looking at the structure of the mask. We’re all staring at the lips. Those lips will haunt my dreams.
That Cheerios fit.
The time it took to put that whole look together would have been better spent actually eating the Cheerios. Thank you, I have spoken. Good day.
Idea for your next manicure!
“Yeah, uh, can I get that pizza mani? If it’s edible, does that cost extra?” — Me at the nail salon next week.
Um… This is supposed to be Mao Zedong, apparently.
I can’t tell if it’s meant to be a tribute to him, or meant to parody him in the most brutal way. I’ll leave you to figure that one out.
Those poor fish…
If you’re gonna do shoes like this, at least put fake fish in them. Also, this totally has the energy of something Lady Gaga would have worn in 2008.
Never lose your phone again.
The only thing clingier than this phone case is a bit of lint on a pair of leggings.
Good luck going out in public with that phone case! No, really. Good luck.
Wait, does everyone else’s juicer not look like this?
I need to know who thought up this absolute beauty. The defeat in the face, the floating hands, the red tub… All of it adds up to something a little less than a masterpiece, but still nothing short of art.
Oh, look! My nightmare bathroom!
You want FLORALS? This bathroom has got your frickin’ florals. We’ve got wall florals, floor florals, toilet paper florals, shelf florals, toilet florals. What more could you want?
This one is gonna stick with me for a while.
It’s like that time that I found a bunch of baby doll heads in a thrift store, except someone had cut the tops off of them and put fake plants in them instead.
That’s normal, right?
WAIT. I found a baby head planter.
But worse! This isn’t the one I saw, but it is horrifying. I think the addition of the baby hands and feet really upgrades it from bad to “burn it.”
Well, that’s graphic.
Who wouldn’t want something that makes it look like snot is coming out of one of the Seven Dwarves’ nose?
Sneezy. That’s Sneezy. Everyone go home. I figured it out.
I hate this helmet.
I don’t know why someone would make it, but it’s realistic that someone would. The human brain would have inevitably come up with this one.
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Why do people keep designing weird sinks?
So, first of all, this sink is shaped like an ear. Second of all, my fellow nerds will follow me when I say that this literally looks like a sink designed after the ear of a Ferengi from Star Trek .
There’s a limit to novelty humor.
And this might be it. Not because it’s offensive or bad, but because it’s just… It’s so weird. It’s so damn weird. That plastic bird deserved better.
So, do you crawl in the front?
That horse looks like it came off of a deeply haunted carousel. I just want to know who thought this was an appropriate thing to provide for kids to play on.
That’s gonna be one rocky sleep.
Get it? I’m funny. Don’t worry about it. I do need to know what kind of person has this particular taste. Like, are you okay? Do you need some design assistance?
What an actual waste of money.
We’ve got two money wasters here: the actual money, which I can’t imagine adds up to too much. But the actual waste (HAH, waste): the resin it cost to make that toilet seat. That’s like $150 down the toilet.
Imagine finding this at your dentist’s office.
I’d either turn around and leave, or become a lifelong client. All depends on the reasoning for buying the sink, tbh. Still, what a deeply haunting vessel.
The mug that holds back.
I… Honestly, I can’t even ask why, because I know why. Someone thought, “What if a mug had fingers?” and then went and made it.
