Growing up with a narcissistic parent can absolutely wreck someone’s self-esteem and emotional well-being. Unfortunately, not all parents do a good job of caring for their kids.
An internet post asked people the common phrases they hear from their narcissistic mothers. The answers are sad and revealing.
Narcissism causes people to harm others, even those closest to them.
While narcissistic traits aren’t the same as a full-blown diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, a selfish mother or parent can display some of the worst of these behaviors. Hurtful sayings can damage the psyche of children and adults, leading to lifelong emotional wounds that take effort to heal.
Selfish moms often use guilt to make their children feel bad.
One common phrase commentators brought up was, “after all I’ve done for you,” or sayings with a similar meaning.
Narcissistic parents often say this phrase in anger when their child questions them or expresses hurt. These parents think they can treat their kids however they want because they provide basic needs like food and clothes.
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Other narcissistic parents saw their children as their enemies.
While most parents see their kids as family and love them deeply, sadly, not all do.
As TerryAnne Homan said, “My mother told me and my sister on a regular basis that we were her ‘worst enemies.’” What an awful thing to hear from your own mom!
These moms didn’t support their children.
A loving parent will encourage their children’s dreams and try to help them achieve their goals. Narcissistic parents usually don’t do this.
Stephanie Joyce Beck said, “I’ve heard them all! The worst is simple. Whenever I had a goal or a dream, she would laugh and say hahaha! You will NEVER be like that!!”
Some moms even made their kids feel bad for being born.
Even if parents have complicated feelings about having children, it’s never fair to make anyone feel bad about their existence. Unfortunately, this is something narcissistic parents tend to do.
Wiep Terpstra explained, “’I wish I never had you’ did hurt the most.”
When confronted by adult children, narcissistic parents won’t take accountability.
Many people raised by emotionally immature parents try to explain what it was like for them growing up. But, these parents rarely take any accountability for their actions and words.
A couple of comments noted that their narcissistic mother would say something along the lines of “That’s not how I remember it.”
Treating children with kindness is so important.
If you’re a parent now or plan to become one, or if you just spend time around kids, remember that what you say has such a big impact. In fact, what you say to others always matters, as words can really hurt everyone, including adults.
Remember to treat kids and everyone with kindness and build them up. If you have dealt with a narcissistic parent or loved one, see about finding emotional support to help.
Did you grow up with a parent like this?
While it’s sad to hear about, the truth is that many people have a narcissistic or emotionally volatile parent or caregiver. If you had this experience, what was it like for you? Did your mom or dad say similar things to you? What was the impact on your life?
