As hard as it may be to understand for some, there are times in which family members intentionally stop speaking to each other.
In some cases, it’s because one person feels manipulated or abused by the rest of the family. In others, it’s because they get the impression they don’t actually matter to what would normally be their loved ones and prefer the company of people they know care about them.
And sometimes a family will cut themselves out of someone’s life by embracing their own prejudices . And sadly, we can sometimes find that they’ll want to build a relationship with the children of the people they’ve wronged without actually acknowledging that wrongdoing.
But as one dad’s story makes it clear, they can’t have it both ways.
When the man we’re about to hear from was 23, he was homeless and about to be kicked out of small restaurant for trying to get out of the rain.
But as he explained in a Reddit post , that was until a young woman pretended she had arranged to meet with him so he could stay.
And after she bought him a meal and had a long conversation with him, she helped him turn his life around in ways that included assisting him while he filled out a job application.
That started a close friendship that eventually blossomed into a romance after he was in a more stable situation two years later.
And while they would marry four years after that, her parents had long made it clear that they didn’t approve of the relationship because they thought he was “trash.”
And while he sadly said he understood how they’d feel that way, even he eventually ran out of patience for the way they looked down on him.
As he put it, “But after 4 years of us being in a relationship? Me having the same steady full time job to help with the bills for years?”
And they were serious enough about their judgment of him that they didn’t attend the wedding. And when their son was born a year later, they still wanted nothing to do with the new family.
That changed when they suddenly contacted the couple by the time this son was 16 years old.
Although they hadn’t changed the way they felt and certainly didn’t apologize, they said they were “willing to put their feelings” aside to form a relationship with him.
As the man said, “My son already knows about my past. That’s something I never wanted to hide from him.”
But what he didn’t know was why his grandparents had no contact with his parents. Nonetheless, the couple figured he should decide for himself whether he wanted a relationship with them.
And while he did meet them and had enjoyable visits with them over the following three months, the grandparents were evasive about why this relationship took so long.
So since his grandparents seemed nice enough, he asked his dad why that rift had happened in the first place. So he told his son the truth.
Naturally, this made the son less willing to speak to his grandparents and they’re now angry about this and accusing the dad of ruining his relationship with them.
In his words, “For now my son says he doesn’t want to be involved with people like that.”
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And while the mom supported his decision to reveal the truth, the man is still wondering if he was in the wrong.
And the Reddit community he reached out to was baffled that he would think he did anything wrong for even a second.
As one user said , “Did the grandparents actually expect you to lie about the reason for the estrangement???”
And as far as others were concerned, the couple were already being far nicer than anyone should expect by agreeing to their terms for meeting their grandchild.
In the words of another person, “I mean, they weren’t even willing to try to mend the relationship with you and their daughter and they have the nerve to be mad at you for being honest about what happened?”
h/t: Reddit | ThrowRAwannaknow_
