Guys, BREAKING NEWS: Simon Cowell wore something colorful .
If you know anything about him, you know he keeps his wardrobe pretty monochromatic. So him wearing a color that isn’t black has the internet shooketh.
Simon has rocked his simple t-shirts since…ever, really.
Back when we got to know him in his American Idol days, Simon was always in a black t-shirt.
His wardrobe has expanded to include other shades, like a daring grey or a bold white.
Even his Instagram is in line with his #aesthetic.
With the exception of three recent pictures, his entire Instagram account is in black and white.
Now that’s dedication. What can I say? The man loves a black and white moment.
And that tradition has continued on.
He created the entire Got Talent franchise, but didn’t appear on the American version until 2016.
You can imagine what he wore. Wait! If you were imagining a black t-shirt, allow me to inform you that he sometimes wears a suit .
That suit has a white shirt, but still. That’s variety.
BUT WAIT.
This week, Simon rolled into the newest episode of America’s Got Talent wearing a red shirt.
A red. Shirt.
Red.
That is a color.
I am as shocked as you are. Who even is he?
The internet immediately lost it.
Amanda, I am alarmed. There is no denying it.
BRIGHT RED, as she said. What drove him to this decision? Was he secretly yearning to wear red all these years, but had to commit to his monochromatic brand?
Rare is an understatement.
This has literally never happened before.*
*That I can remember from my American Idol stan days when I was convinced that Simon actually didn’t own more than one black shirt.
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Yes, I just admitted to all of that.
Okay, points were made.
Simon is very fond of his buzzer, so maybe he was taking style tips from it.
His secret desire to wear color must have been so hard to restrain with that bright red button sitting there, mocking him in all its redness.
Even the official account was shook.
No man has wielded such monochromatic power since Steve Jobs stepped out onto the Apple stage in a black turtleneck.
People replied to AGT expressing their shock, and a big amount of disapproval. What, Simon can’t wear color? It’s his greatest wish, you guys .
*I have no proof of this, but I believe it in my heart.
I would have paid money to see this.
Red glasses, too?
You know what, just throw him in full drag next. He could pull off a tasteful red pantsuit and a feather boa (faux, of course — save the planet, kids).
Oh my GOD.
Um, so, in case you haven’t seen Parks and Rec (which, wtf, go do that right now), Ron Swanson only wears red after having a really…great night.
Yeah, that’s the G way of wording that!
Some people got pretty bold.
It’s one thing to livetweet about it, it’s another to tag every single one of Simon’s co-judges to get their opinion.
I’m not saying I disagree with this choice. It’s just so brazen.
Almost as brazen as that shirt.
Others had theories.
I would buy this, except that I doubt Simon does his own laundry. I mean, do people that rich still do regular chores like laundry?
I’m genuinely asking. I’m also picturing what would happen to all those white shirts if the red shirt was accidentally washed with them, and it is what pastel pink dreams are made of.
The simplicity of this is astounding.
Oh, Simon’s wearing a red shirt? And everyone noticed? Well, a big red “X” to you, Simon.
This user is not having any of your colorful wardrobe nonsense. Back to black with you.
Tag yourself, I’m the son.
I, too, would have an audible reaction if I walked in and saw Simon Cowell wearing something that wasn’t black.
I’m so glad he and red have finally been united for all the world to see.
Same, Ellen.
So, why was he wearing it? What are the theories we’re settling on?
Mine is definitely that he had a secret yearning for the color red, but I am open to taking other suggestions.
