Every time I’ve been gifted a piece of clothing in the wrong size without a gift receipt, I always smile and mentally add it to my “goal” wardrobe with the intent of one day being able to fit into it.
But what’s odd is that every time I go into my closet to try on my goal clothes, they seem to have gotten smaller and smaller. Obviously the only explanation is they are somehow shrinking from lack of use. Weird, very weird.
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If you’re also experiencing this shrinking phenomenon, I think you’re really going to enjoy these quotes.
Can’t have a muffin top if there’s no wrapper on the muffin, you feel me?
You can take this as an open invitation for you to wear sweatpants or pajama pants, or maybe even no pants at all if you really want to go the extra mile.
Just avoid anything with elastic, buttons, or zippers. Those are the belly’s enemies.
I only go jeans shopping if I need a good cry.
Don’t even get me started on trying to shove my body into a pair of jeans in the dead of winter after months of comfort food and holiday treats.
That’s why I have to buy new jeans every season, and why my “goal wardrobe” is home to an inordinate amount of denim nightmares that actually used to fit me once upon a time.
An easy mistake to make, to be honest.
But if you ask me directly why I can no longer wear that cute button-down shirt I bought a month ago, I will tell you it’s because it was an air-dry only that I made the mistake of throwing in the dryer.
I will not be admitting that I ate my way into a different size altogether.
Happy anniversary! Nope, you still can’t come out of there.
Maybe one day you and I will finally be able to be together. But until that day comes, you will remain on a hanger at the very back of my closet beside some old bridesmaid dresses and my ex’s hoodie where you belong.
Happy anniversary! Nope, you still can’t come out of there.
Maybe one day you and I will finally be able to be together. But until that day comes, you will remain on a hanger at the very back of my closet beside some old bridesmaid dresses and my ex’s hoodie where you belong.
