I don’t know how some people do it, man. I’m over here grasping at straws like life handed me a bag of McDonald’s drive-thru — no straws in sight!
Okay, so maybe that metaphor got away from me, but that’s kinda the point! Some people just breeze through life with ease, and ya gotta respect ’em for that. So today, I figured why not gather up a bunch of the people who are actually killin’ it out there — in the funniest ways possible, of course.
1. It’s hard to make new friends out there — unless you’re like granny over here!
She’s just goin’ for it while on vacation! I’d be willing to bet some solid cash that she’s able to drink those girls under the table.
2. It’s honestly like the world of tomorrow over there.
Like, this is so simple and effective, I can’t believe it hasn’t been implemented in more places. I’m so sick of getting glued to the floor at theaters or wherever gross people are throwing it down.
3. It might be hard to read, but that licence plate says, “EXCUSMI.”
So, at least they’re polite about it. It’d be ten times worse to be cut off by someone whose licence plate read, “JERK4LIFE.”
4. Ah, studying popular culture, I see.
Have you ever noticed that Family Guy is basically one big metaphor for the rise and fall of the Roman empire? In this essay, I will…
5. I never knew I needed this information so badly.
I’m wondering where fish fit into this diagram. Like, I know they don’t have feet, but does the water count as a house? Discuss.
6. I swear he must have gotten this idea from some ’90s sitcom.
But no matter where you get your inspiration from, if it works, it works! The effort alone is worth giving the phone back, right?
7. You gotta take care of yourself first!
Not that sober you will have the same taste as drunk you, but it’s the thought that matters here.
8. And in this case, sober you is looking out for drunk you!
It’s a give-and-take situation that you’ve really got to get into with yourself. Trust you, you’ll thank yourself later.
9. Hey, life? Yeah, it’s ya boy. Consider yourself HACKED!
Now I’m considering picking up a wax melter for this specific reason — not for whatever wax melters are used for.
10. I suppose he considers himself a bit of a tie fighter.
Yeah, the force is strong with this one. In fact, that whole getup is enough to make the biggest nerds out there blush. Well done.
11. Of course, you can’t top a father/son combo like this!
Normally, dressing your kids up like you is tacky at best and straight-up awkward at worst. This, though, actually makes it work.
12. Sometimes a “mistake” is just art waiting to happen.
And I’ve seen enough art out there that makes me think it’s just a mistake that did happen. So take any opportunity you can to gas up your family, loud ‘n’ proud.
13. Hugh already know what’s goin’ on.
Normally, I wouldn’t trust a Wolverine around a bird like that, but I’ve got a good feeling about this case. Party on, you two!
14. And, if you’re fortunate enough to have human friends, I’d highly recommend a night like this!
That is, until one dude drops a ton of “pick up four” cards and we start flipping the table.
15. I don’t know if I’ve ever been this relaxed about anything.
But if we could all embody the spirit of this super cool kid, the world would be a better place.
16. Then again, there’s no comparing anyone to this duck!
I know this list is supposed to feature people , but how can you not talk about this absolute champion of a duck?!
17. Because, have you ever been to college? Then you’ll know why.
In fact, these should pop up all over the place these days. Workplaces, libraries, any and all government-run buildings, really.
18. She’s definitely got the right idea.
I always wanted to go the Fresh Prince route and say, “My two weeks’ notice? Yeah, in two weeks, you gonna notice I ain’t been here in two weeks.”
19. Life is good when your sister has your back!
And if that means Frankensteining a fake version of you so you can get out of the house, then go for it.
20. Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.
And honestly, who can blame them? That’d be a sweet volunteer gig, for sure! Count me in.
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21. It’s nun of ya business, that’s all.
Sister Mary Givnofux here is literally living her best life. I’ve always wondered what Catholic Twitter would be like and now I assume it’s lit.
22. The proof is in the potato!
Er, tater tot, I guess. You got to hand it to this mom — that’s one hell of an observation. It’s just so adorable and golden! The dog is cute, too.
23. I’m just wondering if they had a jar of pickles in the basket as well — then you’d definitely know.
But if you’re craving half a box of Snickers out of the blue, you might wanna check, just to be safe.
24. She’s really absorbed the message here.
It honestly takes just one time of sitting down with some Queen Bey to get super sassy. My girlfriend still doesn’t let me listen to Lemonade after I bought that yellow dress 🙁
