I tend to think I’m the smartest, coolest, most assertive person in the world — that is, until I do something absolutely boneheaded. This cycle repeats itself daily. I may not be Einstein, but I may be smarter than some of these people.
Wait.
Look, this question is getting a bit personal, and might open the door to identity fraud. Can we stick to safer questions like, “If your credit card number was the amount of money you had, how rich would you be?”?
A god among men.
We’ve all seen this skyscraper construction photo before, but not many have seen this version from a Ukrainian school textbook that’s managed to incorporate Keanu Reeves into the mix.
Courageous.
How come when Kylie Jenner eats junk food before hitting the Met Gala it’s “brave”, but when I eat junk food before hitting the local 7-Eleven it’s “gluttonous” and “bad for my health”?
Was it worth it?
The promise of creating your own, one-of-a-kind, pint-size pennies is…actually not that awesome, if I’m being honest. This is one of those urges that really shouldn’t be followed up on.
Looks like we’re playing by prison rules now.
Cancelling anything that comes with a monthly payment system is a byzantine, maddening, almost impossible process. Fortunately, this guy has discovered one weird trick to getting Xfinity to leave him alone forever.
Vaxxshamed.
I want to be mean and say that this nurse should know better, given her career. But I’ll be generous and assume that maybe she’s not an anti-vaxxer, but just a person who hates being healthy.
Next question please.
Everyone knows that if you have a sibling who’s half your age, they’ll be half your age forever. What, you think they’re going to grow up to be older than you or something?
Whooosh.
The internet is awesome because it allows us to take out-of-context images from movies made before millennials were a thing and apply our own warped sense of perspective to them.
So close.
I want to look past the Instagram magic going on in this picture and point out that this model’s big statement clock on the wall has been installed upside-down.
What, you don’t eat the whole cake?
This is an awesome clapback. Ideally, you should have enough friends to not feel lonely, but not enough that they eat all of your cake and deprive you of the leftovers.
Cool new look.
Authorities in Barcelona pulled this guy out of a line at the airport because he was smuggling a whole bunch of drugs under his toupee. I wonder what tipped the cops off.
Day = ruined.
Everyone’s spilled something on their crotch before, but usually it’s water or something. This guy spilled heavy-duty dye, ensuring that his pants (and what’s under them) will be miscolored.
Don’t jump to conclusions.
I know that 127 Hours made self-amputation look really badass, but that was an extreme situation. As always, it’s best to see a doctor before removing any of your own digits.
They were asking for it.
If there are googly eyes all over the office, it means that somewhere there’s an employee with a near-infinite supply of googly eyes. Don’t tempt fate by trying to call them out.
What is this sorcery?
This is one of those things that just kinda makes you cringe. No, the good people at French’s aren’t trying to pull a fast one here. They just want to give you a little more mustard.
So far.
It’s one thing to lose a ball to a neighbor’s yard, but it’s a special kind of torture when you can actually see the many balls you’ve lost over the years.
Sir, this is a Wendy’s.
I really appreciate the person texting in blue for their patience. When I get a wrong number text, I recoil a bit, then hastily tell them it’s the wrong number and that they should leave me alone forever.
SpooOOooky.
I want to know why it took this person until the following morning to properly investigate their fears of a freakin’ GHOST BABY cuddled up next to their son. Like, you don’t want to sleep on something like that.
Big if true.
This is an awesome idea. I really need to patent my billion-dollar invention for a flying train that doesn’t fly at all, but actually floats in the water.
It’s like a real-life dad joke.
This is the kind of hilarious thing that you can tease your kids with until they decide they never want to go to an air show with you ever again.
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Close enough.
I like imagining the thought process here. “Hey, these kids have similar hair to these grown-up soccer players. They must be the same two dudes, but as kids, right?”
Fake-out bench.
These guys have found a mostly invisible bench. There’s no butt support and no back support, but fortunately there are some armrests to help tie the whole thing together.
Good catch.
Maybe this guy keeps missing out on deliveries because he doesn’t understand how Venetian blinds work. Besides, everyone knows that the best tactic is to memorize the specific shuffling noises used by each letter carrier.
Poor dorm form.
This was clearly an honest mistake. I want to be kind and say that we’ve all been there before, but…really? Is this really a normal mistake to make?
Thanks, Susan.
Susan acknowledged that she felt a little weird doing this, but she played along and provided some nice pictures. It’s a strange thing to do for her car insurance, but she meant well.
Over the line.
This is ridiculous — not just for the fact that the angry guy doesn’t realize how his actions have created the situation, but also because he could’ve just got in the passenger side and shuffled over.
Old-timey problems require old-timey solutions.
Was the threat of pranksters pulling fire alarms ever so dire that inventions like this needed to be created? Like, if there’s a fire and I see this thing, I’m just not telling anyone.
Fox facepalm.
Who would have thought that Fox News would ever call a same-sex couple a “traditional marriage”? Bravo, Fox. Very progressive. I mean, that wasn’t their intention at all, but that makes it so much better.
I mean, I wouldn’t put it past them.
I feel like Family Guy has done way weirder things, so making an entire episode in Spanish doesn’t exactly sound out of character.
This kind of hurt to read if I’m being honest.
People who are so confident in such ridiculous things, and who just refuse to listen to sound logic and reason , are my nemsis.
“Yeehaw high school.”
As someone who always went to a yeehaw high school , I remember being deeply confused every moose and deer hunting season because half the student population would just suddenly stop showing up to school and I was never 100% certain that we actually had to be there, either.
Got some news for you, bro.
I admire his dedication to almonds being so strong that he would literally endure allergic reactions just to munch on them, and fully believed that was just something you had to do if you wanted to eat some.
There’s been a mistake.
I’m not sure why anyone would get these instructions and immediately assume they meant to do this but here we are, and there the cheese is not.
Looks like someone locked their keys inside their car.
Definitely a crappy situation, but I’d like to direct your attention to that back window with the plastic taped over top of it.
Um, nope. Try again.
I shouldn’t have to say this, but Hong Kong is definitely not in South America. You got the wrong Hong Kon tinent , honey.
Mistakes were made.
Sorry, Florida man. But your luck is about the same as every other Florida man’s who makes it into the headlines.
Imagine that movie though.
Seriously, just imagine Cats but with live cats who can’t sing, act, or dance.
Honestly, still probably would have been a better version than the 2019 film.
How well-done do you like your ramen?
Apparently this person forgot to add water to their tasty noodles which resulted in them nearly burning down their house.
Suffice it to say, they won’t be skipping step one ever again.
I don’t have to explain why this is wrong, right?
Good, because I really don’t want to have to dwell on this atrocious collage of photos any longer than necessary.
Someone got a little defensive.
I thought it was a funny joke but apparently not everyone shares the same sense of humor.
Okay, well that’s just adorable.
This is by far the best response anyone has ever given to that statement.
What a fresh ride.
Might as well browse the market while you wait to take your car back. Shop local, after all.
I mean, they had really good intentions.
But can we all agree that the execution left something to be desired?
Almost got me there.
This highway sign in Iowa is cute, and I’m sure it’s resulted in at least a few people briefly going slower in this area. It’s much better than, “If you hate speeding tickets, stomp your feet”.
Mirrors: how do they work?
There are so many comments on this picture. So many amateur sleuths who think they’re getting to the bottom of some kind of trickery. So few people who understand how mirrors work.
