I want to believe that I’m the kind of person who takes the high road in an argument, but in reality, I can be petty like everyone else.
However, some people are on a whole other level of petty—we’re here on petty earth while they’re catapulting into the petty Milky Way.
Permanent Pettiness
When you cheat on a woman, expect to receive the ring of fire finale to the Mind Game Olympics in return.
Monkey Business
Pettiness Level: 9/10. It’s Just annoying enough to be considered inconvenient, but just subtle enough to defer blame.
Celebration
You’re happy for your co-workers success, at least allegedly, but still upset that they’re abandoning you. Bring out the petty!
Trashy
Angry roommate pettiness is an entirely different ball game. You get down and dirty just to prove a minuscule point.
Communication? Never heard of her.
Portrait Of An Artist
Think about the time and effort put into this painting just to clap back at someone on twitter. I’d hang this up on my living room wall.
Tissue For Your Issue?
This one blurs the line between pettiness and being just plain mean.
Get em’ when they’re most vulnerable I guess?
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Cry Baby
Ex-lover pettiness is particularly spicy, especially while you have to navigate co-parenting.
Honestly, if I saw a note like that, I’d eat the food and leave the wrappers in response.
Presidential Attire
This woman hand-knitted Donald Trump little baby gloves for his little baby hands.
He may need them when it gets cold atop the imaginary wall.
Food Thief
You could just ask your co-workers not to take your food.
Or, you could leave them passive aggressive posters with lovely visual effects.
Iced Out
This one is so far past inconvenient, but so funny that you can’t even be upset. At the very least, the effort is respectable.
Head Count
I once knew a guy who counted every piece of rice he left in a container to check and see if anyone had stolen even a single grain.
Invest in a mini fridge and a lock buddy.
Petty Tech
What does this vending machine have to be mad about? I feel like he’s about to take me out back behind the gymnasium and take a swing at me.
All The Lonely People
Woah, someone took a photo of all my successful romantic relationships. How crazy is that? Small world.
Four Eyes
Proving a point > being able to see. These are just the facts. Can’t focus on the fake, as they say.
Fort Petty
All he needs is a castle of bread sticks and a moat of garlic butter. It doesn’t look like she’s interested in a siege, though.
All Tied Up
This one’s actually pretty cruel. It gets a pettiness hall of fame disqualification because of potential harm.
Netflix & No Chill
There would be no point in doing this if the ex-girlfriend had 3, even 2 episodes left. Oh no. You’ve gotta wait for that finale.
Your Choice
The longer the act took to execute, the better the pettiness score. As it stands, this gets a solid 8.5/10.
No Fees
When the bank wouldn’t reverse some fees, this guy went in on the last day of the month and closed his bank account. He also insisted on all $150,000 in it be returned to him in cash.
Super Bowl Pettiness
When the New Orleans Saints fell out of the running for Super Bowl due to what fans insisted was an illegal tackle by a Rams player, the city decided to boycott the whole thing.
Elevator Ettiquette
If you’re going to force yourself into an already stuffed elevator, the very least you can do is be polite abut it. I totally would have ignored him too.
Diss Track
It’s already kind of petty to diss someone about money you owe them , but 50 Cent took it a whole new level in retaliation.
I Told You So
It only makes you feel worse when people don’t believe you’re unwell. This person made sure that everyone who doubted them would feel guilty from here on out.
Nosy Neighbors
When someone anonymously reported their neighbors for not keeping their garbage bins hidden behind a barrier, this was the result.
Dear Dave
I’m on Nikki’s side here. Dave’s a jerk. Some people were mocking Nikki’s spelling, but I think she did fine considering that she was angry and writing in what looks like makeup.
Porch War
One package going missing is a crime of opportunity, but when a pattern forms, it’s probably the same person every time. This’ll show them.
Lint Trap
This is a fairly polite note on the scale of passive aggressive roommate notes. But, seriously people, empty the lint trap. It takes two seconds.
Yes, I had a roommate who refused to do it too, so I’m bitter.
Neighbors
I doubt that the company will reimburse them for that many sticky notes. It definitely seems worth it, though.
Your Side
This angry husband decided that he would prove a point by only making his side of the bed.
This took time, effort, and a lot of guts. He get’s the pettiness gold medal.
