The world and its various amenities can be confusing and difficult at times— I mean, it’s not like things come with an instruction manual. Well, not most things anyway! However, sometimes people really get the wrong end of the stick, to the point that it makes you wonder how on Earth they have survived as long as they have without managing to set fire to their hair on a daily basis.
Well, thanks to Reddit, there is a place for people to share in stories of just such this behavior! So just to make you feel better about yourself, here are 14+ people who realized a little too late that they’ve been using things completely wrong!
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The KFC Lemon “Sauce”
“I caught a friend of mine rubbing one of the antibacterial hand wipes from KFC all over his friend’s chicken. The little packet said ‘a hint of lemon’ on it, and he thought that he was meant to flavour the chicken with it”
I mean, that brings new meaning to fresh chicken I guess.
Introducing, The Baconaightener!
“We weren’t allowed hot plates or microwaves in the college dorms, so one of the girls on my floor cooked bacon with a hair straightener.”
Now every fiber in my body is telling me this is a bad idea, but I just can’t ignore how good of a brand name The Baconaightener is.
“I once witnessed a dude washing out condoms and hanging them to dry.”
Imagine seeing that over your neighbours fence. Also, what if they’re flavored, you think that flavor is going to last? I don’t think so buddy, not one bit.
The New Surface Pro With Additional Cup Holders
“My high school Spanish teacher would use her computer’s disk tray as a shelf for her coffee mug.”
I mean, using a disk tray as a cup holder is probably more common nowadays than people using it for actual disks.
How Do You Misuse An Eggplant?
“I’m working in the operating theater…we removed a very large eggplant from a very normal sized a**hole.”
Shrieking intensifies .
“Using a microwave to dry clothes.There were flames”
Look, if you’re in a rush to dry some clothes faster, do what any normal person would do and blast them with the hairdryer.
Without that trick, I don’t think I’d have ever worn socks for the most of university.
It’s Grilled Cheese, Not Ironed Cheese!
“My friend’s kid decided to make a grilled cheese sandwich with an iron on the couch. Burned a nice iron shaped hole in the couch. Kid was 15 at the time.”
(Oh, and yes, that is a picture I found of Johnny Depp ironing grilled cheeses, you’re welcome — and no, I do not have an explanation for it.)
It’s Just Extra Storage
“A friend of mine was a first generation migrant to my country and her parents had a dishwasher in their house, but due to never having had one in their home country, saw it as a wasteful appliance to use. So they stored clean pots and pans in it, just like another cabinet.”
In fairness, that’s pretty green!
The Pasta/Poop Scooper Conundrum
“When I was a kid, my mother used a pasta spoon to clean the cat litter box. I thought this was normal because it was the only way I’d ever seen it used. Then, years after our cat died, I was eating dinner at a friend’s house when the mom grabbed the same kind of utensil to serve spaghetti. I freaked the f*ck out and shouted ‘why are you serving food with a poop scoop?!’ They were so confused and I couldn’t eat my dinner because I was so disturbed.”
Screw-Hammer
“Not really an everyday thing unless youre a tradesman, but ive seen wayyy too many people try to pound screws in with a hammer.”
You mean the little things on the top of a screw aren’t marks as to where to hit it with the hammer?
The Good Knives!
“Girlfriend’s brother using my $125 chef’s knife to chop ice.
I did make a scene.
Got rid of both.
Barbarians.”
Ah, There’s Nothing Like The Feel Of Steel Wool On Fine Oak
“My (adult!!!) BIL once used steel wool to scrub his parents’ oak dining table. That still floors me after like a decade…”
I’m sure that he was exempt from all cleaning duties following this incident. Very well played, my man.
You Know It’s Bad When You Have To Padlock The Shears
“Using my fabric shears to cut wire and plastic packaging. And now he’s butthurt that my new fabric shears have a padlock through the handles.”
Seems a bit extreme, don’t you think?
Aluminium Balls And Microwaves Don’t Mix
“My wife once watched a girl at work stick a ball of aluminum into a microwave with her instant Ramen during a break. She said, ‘the sparks are just because it’s heating up faster,’ as if it were common knowledge.”
I love how it’s almost like there’s an attempt at a scientific explanation for her idiocy.
Brick Cutter? Nah, That’s A Brownie Cutter!
“My brother once used a brick chisel to cut brownies. My parents were re-doing the kitchen and left it out on top of a paint bucket or something. Guess he thought it was a spatula?”
Mmm, these brownies have a distinct aftertaste of drywall!
“I Seen It On Instagram!”
“An old roommate put a strainer inside of a pot of boiling water and flipped both. Boiling water went all over the place, but she said ‘that’s the right way to do it, I seen on Instagram'”.
My culinary skills are far from good, but I’m sensing that this is not the way to do this?
No Spoon? Use A Credit Card!
“Saw a woman using an Oyster card (it’s a London bus pass the same size and material as a credit card) as a sort of spoon to eat a lasagna out of a Tupperware on the bus”.
In fairness, I lived with a man who ate Chinese food with a pen and pencil once, true story.
Every Office Has One Of THOSE Coworkers…
“Coworker decided to boil her sausages (her lunch) in the office’s electric kettle, therefore causing it to overflow, to leak on the electrical outlet and to cause a blackout for our whole entire floor (150 people),” this person wrote. “Not to mention the murder / baptism (?) of our brand new carpet.”
Next time, do what everyone else does and make your lunch BEFORE you get to work. No one’s in the office kitchen trying to cook raw sausage for a reason, Karen.
Someone Please Stop Grandma.
“I did not witness it but my grandma had used a vibrator as a massaging stick for her back pain because the box had stated ‘massage stick’. The way we found out was hilarious though.”
The best part? Grandma took it to the shop to have the batteries replaced and the poor lad behind the counter wanted nothing to do with that thing.
No, That’s Definitely Not What Toilet Brushes Are For.
“I caught a roommate cleaning our bathroom counter top with the toilet brush.
He’s a doctor now.”
“Man, I threw a major fit when I saw a visiting relative get my $100 chefs knife to screw a screw.”
This cuts me to my core, because the total lack of cares given is just absolutely mind-boggling. The worst part? This relative had the audacity to ask, “What’s the big deal?”
Some hotel guests were pretty upset when the microwave in their room wouldn’t heat up their pizza.
But as it turns out, they were trying to cook their food inside the room’s safe.
Personally, I would have love to have witnessed these folks punching away at the numbers on the safe trying desperately to get it to heat up, only then to realize they can’t open their “microwave” door anymore.
“When I was very young I used to think that you had to wedge your entire butt into the toilet seat when you have a s**t.”
This person was in for a bit of a wake-up call when they came across a super small toilet seat, at which point they remarked to their parents, “That’s so small, how am I gonna fit in that to poop?”
I’m sure there were plenty of laughs to be had about this misunderstanding.
How Else Are You Supposed To Make Sure It’s Neat And Tidy?
“I used to live 2 doors down from the neighborhood’s ‘crazy lady’ and she would often vacuum her grass after it was mowed.”
I’ll tell you one thing: I bet that lawn was beautiful .
Sometimes ‘Life Hacks’ Really Aren’t Hacks At All, People.
One person heard you could make grilled cheese by putting a toaster on its side and placing slices of bread inside with cheese on them. The result? Fire. Lots of fire. Don’t try this at home, kiddos.
OK, You Got Me There…
“When was the last time you put gloves inside the gloves box of your car?”
To be honest, I think I’ve put just about everything else in the gloves box than an actual pair of gloves. Perhaps a name change is in order? I dub thee “junk box”.
“For the first two or three years after I was potty trained, I thought that everyone peed standing up.”
No no, it gets better.
“So there I was, a little girl with impeccable aim.”
I trust that fantastic aim has continued into adulthood.
To Be Fair, Keurig Cups Can Be Super Confusing If You’re A Newbie.
“My uncle had never used a Keurig before, so he thought that one would have to remove the top paper of that little K-Cup so the hot water could ‘get to the coffee.’ Unsurprisingly, it caused a big mess.”
There’s Really Just No Excuse For This One.
I’m sorry, but in what world would anyone ever think it would be OK to stick your phone in the microwave? We are a gullible species, hoooo boy.
Someone Please Stop Her Before She Hurts Herself.
Apparently, some people find helmets a little confusing. I’m not sure who allowed this woman to leave her house with her head like this.
I’m Not Really Sure How This Even Happened, But Here We Are.
“One guy at a breakfast buffet got to the Bacon tray.
He took a pair of tongs and held them backwards, as in the part with which you are supposed to grab bacon, in his hand, pinched it closed so only a slit was left in between the two rods, trying to slide the bacon in between.
I had to help him after watching this for 2 minutes. He was a grown man.”
I Think Our New Computer Might Be Broken.
“Back in the 1990s when I tried to show my mother how to use my home PC she picked up the mouse and pointed it at the screen like a remote control.”
“I worked with someone who genuinely did not know how to use paperclips.”
“He would sort of bend them in half around pages. He was really embarrassed when someone called him out on not knowing and showed him how.”
Honestly, It’s A Wonder She Didn’t Burn More Than Just Herself.
“I once, as a child, thought that one of those long lighters for candles was a curling iron. Proceeded to burn the crap out of my ear and hair.”
I Think An Intervention Is Definitely In Order For This One.
“I once witnessed someone put milk and a tea bag into a kettle before boiling it. I could have intervened. I did not.”
I Get Where He’s Coming From, But No, Just No.
“A friend of mine revealed that, when he first stayed away from home without parents, he thought an iron worked just by being a heavy metal thing to flatten clothes. He didn’t realize you could turn it on to heat it up or anything.”
They’re For Plates Right?
“Roommates in college used laundry pods in the dishwasher for like a week? I handwashed my dishes, so it did not affect me. They only noticed because I asked why they always left their laundry pods on the kitchen counter.”
What do you reckon they taste of? Actually, don’t answer that, don’t want to kick that whole thing off again!
Limited Edition Barbie Sleeping Bags
“Walked into my sister’s room and she had maxi pads laying everywhere with Barbie’s on top. She’s like, look at all these Barbie sleeping bags I found.”
Do you explain the situation, or just let the innocence of childhood persist?
No, Sandra. Just No.
“I once had a friend casually say ‘you know how when you run out of toilet paper, so you just use a sock or whatever?’ No the f*ck I do not, Sandra, Jesus Christ.”
I hope that Sandra gets new socks for Christmas each year, otherwise may God have mercy on her family.
h/t: Reddit
