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45 People Who Put Two And Two Together

by Paddy Clarke
4 years ago
in Humor
Reading Time: 11 mins read
A A
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There are few things quite like experiencing a rare eureka moment. These can be amazing things that lead to new discoveries that can advance humanity’s journey. However, they can also be incredibly disappointing, like realizing you look like an ice-pop stick!

So, please enjoy these 12+ people who put two and two together!

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“Found this picture of my sister and I taken right about the time I realized that we were keeping her and I was no longer an only child.”

Image credit: Reddit | colleenxbean
Reddit | colleenxbean

“Yeah, she’s cool, bit loud though. When’s she going back?”

“Errr, well…”

“We’re keeping it, aren’t we?”

“I ain’t drawing no straws, I’m for killing that goddamn thing right now.”

Image credit: Reddit | WKFClark
Reddit | WKFClark

The person who posted this explained, “When my wife had an ultrasound for our first child I took a photo of the print out so she could send to friends and family on what’s app. Instead I sent her this xenomorph image and she sent it to everyone before realizing what it was. She was not amused.”

“Bet he gets hammered on cloudy days.”

Image credit: Reddit | eljay87skt
Reddit | eljay87skt

“Oh, watch out, Dave, a cloud is coming over.”

“Quick, grab a beer! We have a few precious moments of technically allowed drinking to squeeze in!”

“This don’t drink and drive warning.”

Image credit: Reddit | Duckninja7
Reddit | Duckninja7

“I think we need to be more polite to drunk drivers, you know, to discourage them from a point of view of kindness.”

“…I strongly disagree.”

“The reason cats don’t want to take a bath.”

Image credit: Reddit | champions_
Reddit | champions_

Yes, because they look like horrific aliens born out of jelly eggs. Incidentally, that cat on the left looks like me when I’m hungover and try to take a shower to liven up.

“A restaurant worker drew this on my to go box.”

Image credit: Reddit | derpytomato05
Reddit | derpytomato05

“Dave, we’ve warned you about drawings on the boxes. What did we tell you?”

“That they’re really good and that I should continue?”

“Dave…you know that’s not what we said.”

“Navajo tour guide insisted he take a pic of us because it was ‘THE money shot.’ Didn’t notice until later. I wasn’t even mad…”

Image credit: Reddit | phantofan
Reddit | phantofan

I mean, how do you not immediately realize what is happening here? Maybe it’s because I still think like a teenager.

“Replaced a picture of Jesus at my parent’s house with a picture of Obi-Wan Kenobi. Three months and counting without them noticing.”

Image credit: Reddit | A-ladder-named-chaos
Reddit | A-ladder-named-chaos

Well, hello there. The person who pulled this off really is a bold one.

“For all the punners.”

Image credit: Reddit | izzbizz95
Reddit | izzbizz95

The pun is obviously excellent and all that, However, there is something inherently hilarious about the drawing of the tapir itself. I think it’s the eyes!

“Asked my dad for a blank CD, showed me this saying ‘I’ve got a clear one’.”

Image credit: Reddit | mrmoustachepanda
Reddit | mrmoustachepanda

Jesus, as far as dad jokes go, this one is one of the daddest dad jokes to have ever caused a groan.

“Baker lost something. Wonder he noticed or not…”

Image credit: Reddit | MyLoveBox
Reddit | MyLoveBox

I bet that he will realize what happened when he gets slapped with a lawsuit for someone having eaten glass.

“Offered to clean the house for ‘husband points’ while the wife was out of town. Hired a maid but didn’t check the work. Busted!”

Image credit: Reddit | arbucklefatty
Reddit | arbucklefatty

I mean, how could you not just clean the house yourself? Absolutely disgraceful! (He says, having only held a vacuum cleaner a handful of times in his life.)

“Apparently the boy was the only one who understood the point of the picture…”

Image credit: Reddit | WaffleStomperGirl
Reddit | WaffleStomperGirl

It is worrying that this kid was the only one who made the connection between the shape of a banana and a smile. Why did the photographer not tell them and take another one?!

“Kids came and told me water was coming from the laundry room and looked like it started at the washer. Buncha comedians in my house…”

Image credit: Reddit | narcolepsyinc
Reddit | narcolepsyinc

Looks like this person’s kids are challenging his position as the household’s official head of dad jokes.

“Working in someone’s house wondering why the cat kept staring at me. Ten minutes later noticed it was a bag of food.”

Image credit: Reddit | dandaman1977
Reddit | dandaman1977

In fairness, this fooled me at first when I looked at it. I did wonder why the hell they were keeping their cat in the bin.

“The coolest cat I ever did bee.”

Image credit: Reddit | diggy123456789
Reddit | diggy123456789

I do not know how the person who posted this realized that cats and bees were the cutest combination of all time, but thank God that they did.

“Delivered a package this morning. Think I nailed it.”

Image credit: Reddit | Parker_Larsen
Reddit | Parker_Larsen

In fairness, I think that I know people in my life who would actually just not realize that was there and walk right over it. And yes, I am those people.

“My daughters job only allows black pants and no rips. Her normal pair was still in the washer so she hacked it. Will it work?”

Image credit: Reddit | IndoorNewb
Reddit | IndoorNewb

I mean, this is quite ingenious. However, how do they not have more than one pair of not-ripped black pants?!

“I was wondering why I kept getting weird looks at school today. Then my SO pointed this out…”

Image credit: Reddit | kawaigirl
Reddit | kawaigirl

Ah, well, that is incredibly unfortunate! The designers clearly didn’t think about this design before sending it into production!

“When I played ‘incest,’ my great Grama pointed out I could have played ‘nicest.'”

Image credit: Reddit | christyrexrawr
Reddit | christyrexrawr

Someone quite accurately pointed out though that, by playing incest, you can have the possibility for incestuous.

“My cousin couldn’t figure out why his dog kept pissing on his bed since he bought the new pet stain remover.”

Image credit: Reddit | Sha11owBay
Reddit | Sha11owBay

I didn’t even know that such a thing existed! People really need to read the bottles of things before buying them!

“I think my dog is planning an escape. I found his shiv.”

Image credit: Reddit | Sam_Porter
Reddit | Sam_Porter

“Buttons, I found your shiv, you know what this means, right?”

“I lose all of my privileges.”

“Lately I’ve been having a craving for grilled cheese, then I noticed my calendar and it all made sense.”

Image credit: Reddit | scroopiedoopie
Reddit | scroopiedoopie

Great, now I want a grilled cheese as well! Excuse me for a moment. This is an urge that won’t be going away in a hurry.

“Grandpa mows the yard every week in a grey shirt that has Yamaha written on the back with black letters. My Grandma just noticed this.”

Image credit: Reddit | wrud4d
Reddit | wrud4d

This is very much showing me that I clearly need to be more careful about what I’m wearing in the sun! Or, alternatively, I could try and get some interesting Yamaha tan-style tattoos.

“About two pieces in we noticed a pattern on our pizza.”

Image credit: Reddit | djd51450
Reddit | djd51450

I mean, I know what they’re meant to look like, but that is also a greatly efficient way to spread the pepperoni around. I know that’s quite a sad thing to consider, but I can’t help it!

“My friend told me that I look like a popsicle stick.”

Image credit: Reddit | genuinlyinterested
Reddit | genuinlyinterested

Just looking at this person’s arms is making me wince. I mean, how did they not feel themselves burning? Also, it is really making me want an ice cream.

“I graduate from my master’s program next Sunday so I thought this would be appropriate.”

Image credit: Reddit | otzukali
Reddit | otzukali

Tiger king memes and nihilism? This person really cracked the Reddit code for the moment didn’t they?

“I spent 5 minutes trying to figure out who Tom is, and what his onion picking skills have to do with my sandwich.”

Image credit: Reddit | Humblebee89
Reddit | Humblebee89

The person who posted this had to write an update saying, “For those that don’t get it, it’s an abbreviated list of what I ordered on my sandwich. Mustard, Lettuce, Tomato, Pickles, and Onion. The sandwich also had turkey, but they didn’t list it for some reason.”

“Tell me why I thought this lady’s hair was a dog wearing sunglasses.”

Image credit: Reddit |Mr_Bungle
Reddit |Mr_Bungle

It still could be… I’m not entirely unconvinced. Even dogs go out for a meal sometimes. Is that so wrong?

“I didn’t think toilet lids came in different sizes.”

Image credit: Reddit | airbagsavedme
Reddit | airbagsavedme

It looks like it’s smirking at you, like it knows you just messed up and is mocking you for it.

“Some guys at my school passed around a pineapple shirt on picture day.”

Image credit: Reddit | alexbernstine
Reddit | alexbernstine

Imagine if more people committed to this… They could have fooled future generations into thinking their school uniform was a cool as hell pineapple shirt.

“Saw something odd on the Price is Right this morning.”

Image credit: Reddit | bjamzzzz
Reddit | bjamzzzz

Wasn’t this trend popular amongst tween girls in 2012? I feel like it’s a little late to be trying it out. Then again, that hat also looks like it came from 2012 so maybe this is a period piece.

“She said absolutely NO sesame seeds.”

Image credit: Reddit | elmandingus
Reddit | elmandingus

According to the user who posted this, he placed the order but his wife picked it up, so when they saw her they made sure to double check that there were no sesame seeds. Both the husband and the employees are the heroes here.

“I thought they were announcing the death of their child.”

Image credit: Reddit | FarohGaming
Reddit | FarohGaming

Man, he looks pretty stoked, which, no matter how you read the sign, is pretty surprising.

“My girlfriend’s grandma thought the iPad was a cutting board.”

Image credit: Reddit | IonnaTrailer
Reddit | IonnaTrailer

At least it had a case on it? Not sure if most cases are able to withstand full on slices but if it did, at least it speaks to the quality.

“My teacher friend saw a student checking the time too often during a test.”

Image credit: Reddit | Kylo_Melv
Reddit | Kylo_Melv

While cheating technologies have improved, students often forget it’s more in the technique than anything.

“Was told not to take an umbrella because there was one in the car.”

Image credit: Reddit | MeDiggingMyGrave
Reddit | MeDiggingMyGrave

Hey, you can just leave it if you don’t want to use it. I’m sure the rain never bothered you anyway.

“Grandma likes to get us puzzles for Christmas. She thought it was an elf.”

Image credit: Reddit | mr_awesome365
Reddit | mr_awesome365

Does Yoda have a species? Could he technically be considered an elf? I need some Star Wars expert consultation here.

“Get him a bed they said.”

Image credit: Reddit | Mufadal84
Reddit | Mufadal84

For cats, it’s not the thought that counts, nor the quality. To them, all that matters is how much it’ll annoy you.

“Told the wife I was going to get my ear pierced. She said absolutely not. Ordered a set of magnetic ones. She will flip when she gets home.”

Image credit: Reddit | pch14
Reddit | pch14

And you can use them in the future, too! Given that your wife didn’t make you get rid of them for tricking her. Here’s hoping for her sense of humor.

“It’s supposed to be a hand pointing to me. Happy Mother’s Day.”

Image credit: Reddit | pumpkinpiethighhigh
Reddit | pumpkinpiethighhigh

I’m more confused at the…fish? Shovels? Whatever it is kissing at the bottom of the page here.

“You said we were going to the park. Liar!”

Image credit: Reddit | SilSol77
Reddit | SilSol77

The great thing about dogs is that, even after this heart-wrenching betrayal, after maybe five minutes of being home they’ll already have forgotten.

“Pipe or Rafiki?”

Image credit: Reddit | Poopsicle-Pete
Reddit | Poopsicle-Pete

I simply can’t not see Rafiki here now. I can even hear his voice! The voice from the proper cartoon version that is, not that drab, awful remake from the other year.

“Ran to my car because my coworker said some[one] slashed my tires.”

Image credit: Reddit | SpanishDynamite
Reddit | SpanishDynamite

You might wanna check your Axl while you’re at it too, buddy.

“One of my 4th grade students renamed himself ‘reconecting…’ on Zoom and pretended to have internet issues to avoid participating in our lesson.”

Image credit: Reddit | reddericks
Reddit | reddericks

I hate using Zoom as an adult, so I cannot imagine how annoying I would have found it as a kid. Also, I can’t imagine how hard it must be to teach kids via Zoom as well. Look, Zoom just sucks for everything. Let’s just face it.

Tags: Humor

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