Nobody’s perfect. None of us can look back at our lives and say that we’ve never messed up. That said, I think a lot of us can safely say we’ve never messed up as badly as these folks.
0 for 2.
This is a rough scenario to wake up in, but it could have been worse. At least no one stole his credit card. The only payment the photographer needs is internet points.
I don’t know it bro.
If you definitely know your password and will never forget it, there’s no need for a hint. If you might forget it, a hint is helpful. Well, theoretically a hint is helpful.
We’re all disappointed.
Sure, the first email was a bit high-handed, but can you just feel the secondhand cringe radiating from the second one? This prof is going to have a tough time after starting things this way.
Close enough.
Yes, both mangoes and avocados are green on the outside and can be yellowish on the inside, but that’s where the similarities end. For instance, mangoes don’t have a massive seed in the center.
Vital signs.
This still from a soap opera shows a character who’s evidently in rough shape. Doctors are keeping an eye on his vital signs…through his nose. I’m sure that’s legit.
Well, they tried.
It’s easy to look at this pic and laugh at the supposed idiocy of Fox News. But perhaps it was inserted into the story by some kind of rogue double agent.
One weird trick.
I should point out that it’s possible for store staff to miss these things. It’s happened to me. But in that case, it was a simple matter of going back to the store with my receipt.
Enjoy that paralysis.
There’s a dangerous algae bloom in the area, one that can literally cause paralysis. But this fisherman just sees a great opportunity…an opportunity to get paralyzed, I suppose.
Nice pic.
This pic illustrates a huge downside of the social media age. Now that everyone has cameras and wants to post pics, they’ll often do this before stepping in to help.
Get redder in 45 days.
I get that Alex Jones has a lot of supplements and snake oil to hawk to his listeners, but this thing literally didn’t make him lose any weight. He just got redder.
Busted.
If you’re ever tempted to not pay the 75 cents a slushie costs, consider the fact that it might wind up costing you your cellphone, plus a visit from the police.
Gridlock.
If you’re a social media star, or a wannabe social media star, just take a good look at your pics before you post them. That’s all I’m saying.
Wait a minute.
For real, don’t do this. Don’t ever do this. You will literally die. Carbon monoxide poisoning is very much a real thing. Thanks for coming to my ted talk.
How did they know?
This guy had a foolproof plan to smuggle a full kilo of contraband under his toupee, which is totally natural-looking and lifelike and never should have raised any suspicions whatsoever.
Should somebody tell them?
I’m not going to endorse carrying this many people in a pickup. That said, it would be a borderline safe scenario if one of them didn’t have her hand on the latch.
Live and learn.
I guess most of us would lose a finger if it meant saving our life, but generally it’s best to ask someone who knows whether it’s really necessary.
Style points.
Here’s Kim Kardashian playing poker at a celebrity tournament. It’s a good thing they’re just playing for fun, because those mirrored sunglasses will give her opponents a look at literally all of her cards.
Next question.
This is one of those things that seems to make sense, until you think about it for, oh, three seconds or so. Imagine if aging actually worked like this.
Win some, lose some.
Not only is this pizza a total monstrosity and a gross misinterpretation of what must be a routine request, but it also failed to leave one half pepperoni-free.
Maybe they like the extra protein.
You don’t have to like hardboiled eggs. It’s totally your prerogative. That said, it’s usually best to properly understand how a food is eaten before rushing to judgment.
When life hands your eyes lemons.
Maybe the end result wasn’t exactly what was advertised, but dropping lemon juice in your eye is guaranteed to turn it a color.
Too close for comfort.
The car on the left is parked pretty close to the line, but it’s still within its spot. The driver of the car on the right, meanwhile, has no right to be angry.
Shadows: how do they work?
This is definitely a little bit cringey. At least this guy’s pose, with his face in his palm, effectively communicates how badly he messed up.
She-king?
I’m all for equality and empowerment and all that, but the English language has already figured this one out. There’s actually a word that describes a female monarch, believe it or not.
Responsibility.
This would be a lousy predicament to find yourself in. You’d have to try to move your car through the busy market, or just accept that it’s part of the market now.
Know when to hold ’em.
This should prove, once and for all, that derisively referring to something that could potentially kill you is not, in fact, protection against it killing you.
Fixed.
This person’s grandpa needed help with their phone’s clock, which was constantly displaying a time of 10:24 AM. At least it was a very easy fix.
Let me think about that.
I don’t know enough to comment on the stuff about geese or whatever, but I do support any laws that discourage, or even prohibit, hunting small children.
Why?
“Went through the Taco Bell drive-thru with a friend,” says our storyteller. “When asked if we wanted sauce, I said, ‘As much as you’re allowed to give me.’ I may have made a mistake.”
Love at first phone call.
I feel like it’s been ages since I last saw an actual Bluetooth headset, so I don’t blame them for missing this one.
Is this really a cause for concern?
I’m very charmed that her first thought was a ghost, and that she was so scared of it despite the fact that it was a baby. Could a ghost baby really do any harm?
List Item #32
Let alone the obvious reason why not to do this, who wants a tiny penny anyway? So you can buy tiny snacks?
What’s the point of having a clock if you’re gonna hang it upside down anyway?
I get that not everyone knows Roman numerals, but if that’s the case then why buy that kind of clock? Why not double-check that it’s hung up correctly? Why post it for thousands of people to see with no one to give it a look first? I have so many questions.
So, about those reports.
I get wanting to have fun during video meetings, but sometimes one must face the consequences of their actions. Even if those actions are turning yourself into a potato.
Thought you could sneak this one buy us, huh?
Is there any conceivable math that makes this right? Or will I just have to deal with the fact that French’s lied to me?
It’s just reading comprehension.
Curse those snowflake students and their basic literary analysis. What will they do next, film critique, TV reviews? Intolerable!
Yes, Hulk Hogan really thought Bam Margera died.
Did he not think to look it up, like, at all before posting? I hope they did hang out again though.
The not-so-perfect crime.
Some people are born master criminals, planning and executing the perfect heist without getting caught, then walking away with the biggest score. This guy is not that. At all.
A real big breath of fresh air.
It’s crazy to me that this woman seemed to have no idea how planes worked. Yeah, the cabin may be stuffy, but trust me, you want it to be stuffy over streaming with fresh air.
Proofread, proofread, proofread.
Logically I know holes this big need to be drilled for construction projects and whatnot, but I still can’t imagine this thing in motion. It’s comically big.
You fell right into my trap.
Props to him for setting this up so perfectly. Start off innocent, the go in for the kill at the perfect moment.
This isn’t even fine print.
Did their parents not realize their tea had been tasting a little off? Like maybe there were chemicals in it? Or did they just accept that this is how honey tastes?
A self-own, kind of.
I mean, a ping pong match between two octopuses would be awesome. Why try to take that back now?
At least she still did a good deed.
There’s a lot of issues here, but I think the biggest one is that it would be obvious that $70 is waaay too cheap for a real-life koala bear. Can’t blame her for having dreams, though.
Last Updated on October 19, 2021 by D