Conveying what you mean clearly and concisely is one of the main cornerstones of conversation and classic oration, while it remains the vile enemy of contemporary political discourse.
Whether they’re simple verbal slip-ups, or incorrectly-worded signs, miscommunication is one of the internet’s favorite currencies, as it often leads to hilarity.
So, pop your feet up on the futon of sensationalism, pour yourself a brew, and get ready for 13+ people who meant one thing, but said another.
“You had one jobby job-job”
I have such a strong urge to legally change my name to Namey Name-Name now. Imagine people’s faces when you introduce yourself! Also, I wonder how the person who made this gaff is doing nowadays… Probably on the hunty hunt-hunt for a new jobby job-job!
I Don’t Think That Sends The Right Message
They really underestimated how interchangeable the letters I and A are, something which you would never think could be so easy.
“My friend’s kid got in trouble for calling a girl buttcheeks. He meant to say sweetcheeks.”
Is calling a girl sweetcheeks really that much better though? Also, “sweetcheeks”?! This kid either grew up in the ’50s or he’s watched Bugsy Malone far too many times.
“My girlfriend noticed a stitching error on my boxers. It’s meant to say Animal.”
Sure it is, mate. I bet this is completely, 100% an honest mistake.
Lost In Translation, Hopefully!
Also, if you’ve got herpes on your pizza, it’s not like you can just pick it off, as it never really goes away.
“I think she may have meant to say ‘#nofilter'”
Well, it’s not ideal writing #nohitler, but it’s better than accidentally writing #loadsofhitler I guess?
“A new guy started and I made him a quick reference English to Spanish phrase guide.”
Now, I don’t know how much Spanish you speak, person who I am talking to vicariously through the internet, but I don’t need the Rosetta Stone to tell you for certain that those are not accurate translations.
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“Management put up a new wallpaper in the office computer”
Management is clearly sick of you lot farting at your desks, but are too polite to tell you straight up!
The Importance Of Punctuation
Seriously, one comma, or a dash and they could avoid a lot of questionable looks and interest from the police.
“Found my grandpa’s tombstone at Fort Snelling last week. His middle name was Richard so he went by Dick.”
Seeing such a long and impressive life, capped off with the phrase “Beloved Dick” is oddly haunting and emotional to me for some reason.
“A buddy was tired of seeing Americans with Chinese tattoos, so he showed her what it looks to a Chinese person.”
I quite like it, actually. It looks pretty cool in the pink ink as well! Maybe she just really likes water, did he ever think of that?
“The pumpkins at my local grocery store have an unholy desire.”
They just want your flesh – specifically, your face flesh. Relinquish your face flesh to your pumpkin holiday overlords at once.
Beat The Devil Out Of It
Look, what you want to do with your evenings is your business. We’re not gonna be passing judgment here.
Pet Meat?
I don’t even know what the point of this one is meant to be, but the phrase “pet meat” was so unsettlingly hilarious to me that I couldn’t not include it.
Poor Choice Of Words
Looking at this shop, you just know that you’re going to go in and be confronted with two adorable, doddering, innocent old ladies behind the counter. And, you know full well that they know exactly what that means!
“Frozen Filipino”
Dad jokes are an art form that depends heavily on the idea of miscommunications such as these. A perfect example of the art form in action.
VGN Or VGN?
Which one do you think it is? Let me know which one you think it is and your justification as to why in the comments!
“What could go wrong?”
I’m not saying this was done on purpose, but if the end of the world comes by giant spiders…well, you know who to blame.
“I didn’t want a salad but I guess I’ll have one.”
Huh, it seems like I’ve been eating way healthier than I thought then! I didn’t know salad tasted this good.
“My son didn’t react in the video to his grandmas present, so I just screenshot him yawning and send that.”
If there’s one thing worse than a mother’s anger, it’s a grandmother’s disappointment. Props on keeping her happy and flexing the smart idea.
“I don’t think you know what 24 Hours means.”
Sure they do: They’re open 24 hours for 12 hours they’re open for! It makes sense, I promise.
“They didn’t really think this design through on my brother’s wrestling shirt.”
Stuff like this always raises alarm bells. Someone knew exactly what they were doing, they were just brave enough to go forward with it. This is the product of a champion.
“I wonder how long they’ll look for the scratch I didn’t make.”
Not scratching someone’s car but making them think you did is so much worse than actually scratching their car. Leave them paranoid and keep yourself out of trouble.
“Jana’s friends didn’t consider both sides of the balloon idea.”
Kind of off-topic, but where is this? Is that shuffleboard? And a bar? Is a bar standard for shuffleboard places?
“‘5 lbs. isn’t that much, I can definitely eat this burrito,’ he said, looking at the menu confidently. Oh how wrong he was.”
That kid in the back is a vision of the burrito eater’s future. He’s gonna get like two pounds in and completely disconnect from his body, entering a coma-like state.
“I made a subtle sign asking for no soliciting (mainly religious inquires) that didn’t work, so I had to edit it.”
Hey, you tried the polite route and, to be fair, the edit is still polite, just more…direct. Some people just won’t take “no soliciting” for an answer.
“My brother didn’t tell me that my grandma was still in the frame. Sorry, Grandma.”
She looks so happy to be in the picture, too. If only she knew. Please don’t ever show her this photo. Let her keep this moment pure.
“Someone didn’t move the browser.”
I was going to make a joke about this being a roundabout ad campaign for Delta Homes, but then I found out that that website actually hosts a virus and should not be visited so now I’m mostly confused. The internet is a weird place.
Somehow I Doubt That’s What Happened.
Also, let’s be honest, if the kids are young, it’s really the parents raising any pets. That dog should be considered a sibling at least.
“Friend on Facebook sent their kid to school on picture day with the wrong shirt.”
You call it the wrong shirt, but I bet that photographer thought it was just perfect.
“Yep, turn a bit to the right. A little more. Perfect! Now smile!”
“During an engagement photo shoot our photographer got this. We didn’t know until he sent us the pictures.”
Aw, what a nice picture of your dog! Clearly he’s the star of this photoshoot. I wouldn’t have been able to resist taking a pic either.
*Sweats Uncomfortably*
Judgment Day isn’t going to be as chaotic as Terminator would have you believe. Instead, it’s just a load of judgmental machines asking personal questions.
“Nah, I’m good, thanks.”
There’s something about a giant sign that just says “EAT” that cracks me up. Not “FOOD” or “EAT HERE,” just eat. Thanks for the reminder, sign, I did forget breakfast today.
“Light Up Christmas!”
Nothing screams Christmas like chestnuts roasting on a roaring, petrol-soaked fire!
