Say what you will about life in early 2020, but it can’t be said that we don’t live in interesting times.
This is my way of telling you that we’re going to be talking about some people who’ve maybe overthought this whole coronavirus thing.
Foolproof.
Have you ever noticed that the more you’re told not to touch your face, the more insatiable your desire to touch your face becomes? This guy has it figured out.
Public service.
Some kindly person has put this bottle on a post for the greater good. I think it’s more likely to be stolen for resale on the black market than actually used, though.
It isn’t all coronavirus memes.
It’s just mostly coronavirus memes!
In this case, some guy has decided to turn his humble turtles into murder turtles. If he knew his lore, he’d know that this is not how you make a Ninja Turtle.
Ace up his sleeve.
The thing is, if coronavirus continues to spread, it’s increasingly likely that the cop will have coronavirus as well. I don’t think this is getting anyone out of a speeding ticket.
What gives?
This person cut down their tree. According to their original post, they had to cut down said tree. Judging from this scene, I think that tree’s resident disagrees.
Making money.
This is like having a license to print money. Sure, these are nasty, scratchy paper towels, but at this rate, the world will quickly be out of legitimate toilet paper.
Does this bring in tourists?
Some towns are saddled with unfortunate names. Neither of these places has a terrible name, but I don’t know why they’d double down on their fundamental boringness by teaming up.
Grow your own.
If you have a green thumb, you know how satisfying it is to grow your own herbs, fruits and vegetables rather than paying grocery store prices. Can you do the same with TP?
The hoarder to end all hoarders.
I don’t know what this pic is actually showing. But given that we’re living in the golden age of toilet paper memes, let’s just pretend these are giant rolls of TP.
Deputized.
I know things are bad right now, but surely they aren’t so dire that we need to start deputizing cats as emergency room doctors. Right?
He’s a serial killer.
The mailbox with no wardrobe is somewhat cute. But once dressed up, the only thing it’s going to accomplish is freaking out drivers who are wondering why an anthropomorphic manatee is hanging out by the side of the road.
Rocky’s not so cocky.
If Sly Stallone, the man whose movies have served as an inspiration to ‘roided-out rageaholics everywhere, is wearing gloves at the grocery store, you know the coronavirus is getting bad.
Kids, man.
Despite the abundance of TP in this pic, it’s not coronavirus-related. This simply shows the aftermath of a toddler trying to help their parents. In this day and age, that toilet paper would’ve been worth a fortune.
Social distancing.
You have to love the audacity of someone who makes the reasonable decision to distance themselves from people…only to go out in public and enforce that distance with this thing. Just stay home, man.
I don’t want to know what they put in these sandwiches.
Yes, we all know what that sign is referencing. I’m very skeptical of any sandwich that makes the kind of guarantee that’s stated on this sign.
The king of Costco.
Laugh at this guy all you want, but he’s buying enough TP to last him until about 2040, locked in at 2020 prices. It’s just sound economics.
Preach.
For real, you might not need Dove Men Plus Care Activated Manly Charcoal to wash up, but you should probably have some kind of soap on hand.
An old-fashioned life hack.
This person notes a tried and true life pro tip: if you run out of toilet paper, just head down to CVS and buy a pack of gum.
The purge is on.
Ultimately, we do need toilet paper. That’s fine. I’m just not sure if these people realize they need, like, food as well in order to survive.
Hide it.
The other high-value item in this day and age is cleaning wipes, or anything with isopropyl alcohol in it. Since these Clorox wipes are worth, conservatively, a thousand bucks, this person is trying to conceal them.
Last Updated on July 14, 2021 by D