Whenever the excitement of the holiday season starts winding down and we trudge our way into a new year, the remnants of the party season are still littered about. While some of us simply shake off the fun season and reluctantly start up the new working year, some people continue having a ball, well past the holidays. Of course, these people didn’t know what 2020 had in store for us yet…
So, in order to remind you of how positive and happy we were at the beginning of 2020, here are 13+ people starting the year off with a laugh!
“New Years Resolution is to use my gym card more”
See? Gym cards can be useful! They can be used for cutting cake-based snacks, as well as poking people in the back to get them to hurry up when you’re in the line trying to buy more cakes.
“Had to explain to my 8 year old niece that although we watch scary movies together, she can’t call me ‘creepy uncle’.”
Ah, the innocence of youth. I imagine the teacher had a fair few questions about “creepy uncle” when she had finished this drawing.
“Celebrating Christmas with my wife’s family when suddenly…”
I’d love to know a breathing exercise powerful enough to remove the stress of Christmas family dinners. I think you’d probably have better luck with horse tranquilizers.
“Stealing your own wanted poster”
This guy just wanted to start the new decade with a clean slate. In fairness, he probably should have seen this coming though.
“Got my boyfriend this calculator watch for [Christmas]. In line at Best Buy and he says he has something to show me.”
This man is a goddamn hero to every guy who used a calculator at school. Never stop being you, guy, never. ‘Cause this will never not be funny on some level.
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“Well, look who the first person to fall asleep at the New Years’ party was…”
Nothing screams, “I’m going to kick ass this decade!” like ringing in the new year with a pen mustache drawn on your face.
“How to adjust the tow bar on the 2020 Land Rover Defenders. This is not a joke!”
Either someone working at Land Rover is the single most naive and innocent person of all time, or they are the most childish person of all time.
Proud Parents
The random capitalization aside, this is quite a fair sticker! I mean, everyone can be an asshole from time to time, and it’s important to realize that. This is some top notch parenting.
“The calming treat I gave him before the fireworks may have been a little too potent.”
That dog is going to be absolutely tearing through the snack cupboards later on. What in God’s name did you give him?!
New Years In A Nutshell
This is what leads to so many people deciding to try dry January, and the crushing weight of reality is what makes everyone fail.
“2019 Most Accurate Sign of the Year Winner”
Whoever put that sign up really knows their cliff faces! Although, they really banked on there just being one rock. It looks like the sign is lying on its deathbed, gasping out, “There was way more than one…”
“Mom asked me to decorate for our NYE party.”
“Thanks for coming. Don’t let the new decade hit you in the ass on the way out!”
“Evolution in progress”
Well, you know what they say: Give a squirrel some food and it will feed itself for a day, but give a squirrel a cell phone and it’ll be calling in takeout for the rest of its life.
“No Shirt, No Shoes and…”
I would like to know of any store that would encourage this kind of behavior. Shouldn’t this just be taken as a given?
Finished
Ah, truly one of natures most majestic creatures, the beautiful 8-bit stallion. It neighs like a Pokémon Sprite from the first generation.
“Tis the season”
This gargoyle is channeling everyone’s New Year’s Day energy. Give it a half-eaten kebab and an open browser page for gym memberships and it’d be perfect.
“Something funny I saw tonight near my house”
Ah, Mr. Rogers. Will you ever slip out of the zeitgeist? Probably not.
“How did no one tell her?”
I am embarrassed by how long I spent reading the headline to try and figure out why this picture was funny.
“Found you, you son of a bitch”
I don’t remember the Waldo books ending with quite such a grim turn. This must be the adult version, where death is the final release from Waldo’s life of constantly hiding in fear from the government.
“Winters are tough on slower people.”
I’m struggling to even understand the original logic here. Could two people fight off a bear, or is one supposed to live to tell the tale?
“3 years ago this badge fell out of the upper section of our new tree. Now every Christmas, we celebrate the memory of worker #52.”
Saying “the memory of” makes it sound like they died — like their life went into making this tree.
“This is how my 2.5 year old niece insists on holding her new baby brother.”
She’s toughening him up at a young age! Get him accustomed to fear now, and he won’t be afraid of anything when he’s older.
“Solid advice for southerners driving on snow.”
Why only pretend? Get some water jugs and fill ’em up, put a large pot of soup in your front seat, and create a real threat.
“My iHome is still drunk from New Year’s Eve partying.”
Is this that Y2K thing everyone was so worried about? Did it finally happen two decades later?
“I work 3rd shift at a hotel. For ten minutes, the guy argued he was staying in 227. We don’t have a 227. He was at the wrong hotel. Happy New Year.”
When you can’t find room 227, you make room 227. Out of a baggage cart. I hope he’s comfy at least.
“My 7 year old informed me that the new ice cream I bought tastes horrible.”
I really can’t blame the kid. Probably can’t read, cute cartoon on the box, the cup looks like vanilla ice cream. They really did market this for children.
“I helped my father build a shed 3 years ago. He rang me today to tell me he has ordered for a new one to be built professionally. I asked him why.”
You’re using the word “build” pretty liberally here. This thing looks like it was fastened together using hot glue and sticky tack.
“A picture was taken right as my little sis got nailed with a snowball by my dad, Merry Christmas”
She looks like she could be recreating a scene from The Matrix ! Also, prepare to have your dreams haunted by that terrifying snowman for the rest of your life.
“I’m leaving my job of six years to try something new. I can tell my boss is gonna miss me!”
I love the completely unrelated dog. Unless they’re calling this person a…no. That would be mean.
“My brother made hard cider from our apple trees this fall. He brought up a jug to share for New Years with proper labeling.”
The acronym on the cap really gets me. Someone looking at the top of the jug is not going to know what “np” stands for.
