Conspiracy theories range from the ludicrous to the plausible to the ones that actually turn out to be correct.
We’re not saying that any of these are necessarily true, but the responses to the r/AskReddit thread, “What is a conspiracy theory you actually believe in?” provide some interesting food for thought.
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Where’s the gold?
“Honestly, I find the idea gold isn’t at Fort Knox anymore believable. In the same vein, I doubt they keep anything important at area 51 anymore. I bet they keep the sites up so we don’t look anywhere else.
Why or how? I don’t care enough to think that deep. This is just something I heard that makes sense to me.”
The most secure basket weaving facility.
“Area 51 is such a great idea. Even if the roswell crash has some some truth in it. What the US government has effectively done is to have millions of people focus on one area. Leaving them free to do other more important [expletive] else where. I imagine in Area 51 they create all this security hoo ha to keep the facade going. Whilst they, I dunno make wicker baskets or something? In the hangars.”
Time to ‘fess up, baby wipe manufacturers.
“Baby wipe containers are purposely made so that you always pull 2-3 wipes out at a time and therefore need to buy more often. It’s definitely something I can see Big Wipe engaging in to get just a few more containers out of us each year!”
Bureaucratic nonsense.
“This might not be a groundbreaking hot take, but I think that applying for disability status/benefits is intentionally made to be a convoluted mess of bureaucratic jargon and endless hoops to jump through SOLELY so that disabled people don’t take advantage of them, either because they give up trying to navigate an intentionally confusing system, or because they make a mistake along the way, and the process gets [expletive] up.”
Come to think of it, they did make a really big deal out of it.
“Deflategate was a distraction from brain damage and domestic abuse scandals in the NFL. And I say this as someone who hates Tom Brady. It should have just been a small fine and forgotten quickly.
“But this is the type of scandal the NFL can tolerate whereas brain injuries and domestic abuse can hurt the league’s reputation. And it worked! Distraction and new cycle dominated by this for an entire off-season rather than more serious issues.”
It might be unethical, but I want pizza for a dollar.
“Dollar slice pizza places.
“This may not make sense to people who don’t live in New York City. We have these great places that sell a plain slice of pizza (cheese only) for $1.00.
“I can’t believe they make rent and payroll on volume with $1.00/slice and the going rent rates. This has to be some sort of money laundering scam, but one where no one cares because you get a slice of pizza for a dollar.”
I don’t want to believe it, but yeah, probably true.
“The government watch us, but not on a individual level, like they don’t read every email and text you send is more like they and algorithm that filters of the metadata of the people and use that determine the possible dangers to a zone.”
Say it with me: we need bigger pockets.
“Women’s clothing doesn’t have adequate pockets because the purse and handbag industry wants to ensure women continue to buy bags to carry their things.”
“I always saw it as more of a cyclical feedback loop. The clothes designers say ‘we don’t need to add pockets, they have a bag anyways’ and the bag makers say ‘women need bags because they have no pockets.'”
Time for some retail therapy.
“They’re trying to get us stuck in perpetual fear / apathy so that we don’t make plans for our own futures and instead buy things now, and fall in line with what agendas they want to push.”
Here’s one that I’ve believed ever since that dumb trend started.
“The selfie filter trend where people took selfies and it would show what your future aged version would look like was actually delivered by the government to use for AI.”
This is why high school was so boring.
“Most homework in high school is not to improve students grades, it’s busy work to either ‘keep them out of trouble’ and make them more manageable, or to prepare them for the boredom of menial labour, long hours, and working off the clock uncompensated.”
So many lost socks, so little explanation.
“That our washing machines are teleportation devices by the government so they can steal our socks. I don’t know why I believe this but how do I put in 2 socks and get 1 back?”
Yesh.
“Sean Connery’s character in The Rock is James Bond.”
– u/MT_IT
“Timelines match up. Additionally, if the multiple Bond theory is seen, Daniel Craig’s is Connery’s grandson and is the only Bond other than him with his real name instead of a code name.”
Can confirm, am dumb.
“The government deliberately works on keeping the populace uneducated. From school funding being tied to local property taxes, to allowing militant religious parties to ‘politicize’ and censor science based education.
“It’s easier to manipulate an uneducated society by pitting it against itself across socio-economic and political lines.”
Friend of a friend says it’s true.
“Toothpaste companies started increasing the diameter of the nozzle so you run out faster and buy more frequently. Friend of a friend came up with the idea in college and now works for Colgate or something.”
Every mall has a place like this.
“For the record, serious answer. But, there’s this soup place at our local mall that’s been there for three years now. I’ve never seen anyone order anything from there, and I rarely see anyone at the register.
“When our mall was closed due to COVID lockdown/quarantine, several locally owned stores shut down, and a few places in the food court. Last time I was there was for my birthday in August, and the soup place is still there.
“My mom and I have an array of theories about what it could be, ranging from money laundering to a front for drugs, but I cannot believe that place is legitimate.”
It’s 3.14, then some other numbers.
“That the universe is a simulation. Maybe I don’t totally believe in it, but it is definitely one that I find easy enough to buy in to. If I recall, one of the things that would supposedly prove that the universe is a simulation is if we somehow found the final digit of pi.”
It’s a big TP conspiracy.
“The cardboard rolls that toilet paper are on have gotten wider in diameter over the years. This is one way to make the rolls look bigger. Because you know 6 mega rolls equals 32 normal sized rolls…”
I mean, how else would you make people care about a Sonic the Hedgehog movie?
“The bad Sonic movie trailer was only made to gain coverage. Don’t you think it’s strange that they fixed the animation so quickly? I think the ‘new’ design is actually the original.”
– u/zzerem
The O.G. conspiracy theory.
“My mother’s family lived in Roswell and my great uncle and his cousins would tell us that they used to see all kinds of lights in the sky when they were kids, late ’30s-’40s but after ’47 they mostly stopped. My great uncle swore all the way to his death bed that there had been aliens. He also said there were labs that spanned for miles under the desert outside of town.”
