Picture this:
You’re on a date at a restaurant. It’s going really well. You’ve been making each other laugh, the conversation hasn’t had any uncomfortable lulls, and the food was tasty to boot. By all accounts, this date has been a huge success.
Then the waiter comes by and drops the bill off at the table.
Who should reach for their wallet?
If we’re thinking traditionally, the answer would probably be, “the man should pay” because, traditionally speaking, that’s what’s to be expected of men on heterosexual dates.
But as Bob Dylan once said, “The times they are a-changing.”
The idea that men should pay for everything is derived from a time when women couldn’t earn their own money.
Once upon a time, women weren’t allowed to work and earn money, so they relied on the men in their lives to support them financially.
But things are different now. Women are able to work and earn wages just like their male counterparts. (Although not always the same amount, but that’s another article altogether.)
It’s 2019 and some people are of the belief that it shouldn’t fall on the man to pay for everything.
Unilad recently published an article about the expectations of men on dates and argued that it’s about time we change our thinking on this subject.
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Author Emily Brown insists that instead of the bill falling into the man’s lap every time, heterosexual couples should try splitting the bill or even alternating who pays with each date.
Other people seem to agree and also believe it’s time things become a bit more “even” in the dating world.
Reddit user Jdmitch931 posted in the r/relationship_advice subreddit and posed the question “Should I pay 100% everything in a relationship as a man?”
He describes his personal situation with his girlfriend and also his financial situation and asks Reddit whether he should be expected to foot the bill on every date.
The answer was a resounding “no”, with many insisting modern relationships should be more even nowadays.
“I mean everyone comes from a different upbringing but a relationship is a partnership in my eyes, 50/50,” one user replied.
They added, “You and the said girlfriend should split up some of the things y’all need to pay, not just you having to carry the weight of it all. That’s not fair whatsoever.”
In fact, many women prefer to pick up the bill themselves.
According to The Independent , a 2018 study from the dating app Badoo found that 65 percent of women surveyed actually said they’d rather pay for the first date themselves.
In the end, it all comes down to preference.
There’s no real perfect answer to this question of who picks up the bill, so perhaps then it should be left up to the two people participating in the date to decide, rather than falling on any traditional expectations.
(Or just cook at home. That works too.)
