As one woman’s wedding day steadily approached, she began making a list of funds she knew she would have to make it the most wonderful celebration of love possible, including $20,000 her parents had put aside for her.
But as it turns out, that money came with one condition she had previously been unaware of; one that would make it unsuitable for her own wedding.
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And that condition was the $20,000 was only to be used if she was marrying a man.
In a recent post shared to Reddit, the woman’s mother admitted that she and her husband rescinded the money when their daughter became engaged to a woman.
Posted to the subreddit r/AmITheAsshole, the mom began by explaining they had set the money aside for their little girl’s college fund, but when she earned a scholarship that covered almost her entire tuition, they offered to just give her money up front.
But their daughter refused, and instead suggested they keep it for when she gets married. Her parents happily agreed, and the money was tucked away for safe keeping.
A few years later, the parents were stunned when their daughter came out as bisexual to them.
Not only that, but she began dating a woman around that time as well.
“[This] shocked us a lot because we never saw her as the type,” the mother recalled . “My husband and I were really upset because we loved the idea of her having a husband and a family, grandchildren for us. We thought it was just a phase.”
However, four years later their daughter, now 28, became engaged to that very same woman.
As wedding planning began, she and her fiancée showed up at her parents home with a book they had used to keep track of money for the big day. And that was when her mom noticed she had made note of the $20,000 promised to her a few years earlier.
The mother admitted to her daughter that the money would not be used for her wedding anymore. In fact, it would now go towards the parents’ own renovations.
“She questioned us and we were upfront and said we agreed for her to use that money under the assumption she was marrying a man,” the mom explained.
Hearing this understandably upset their daughter’s betrothed, who snapped at her in-laws and accused them of being homophobic. Stunned, the daughter remained silent at her side.
Eventually, she spoke up and said, “That money was mine and I had it all planned out to use it towards the wedding.”
Her mom corrected her that the money was “saved with a specific use”, and since their daughter wasn’t going to be marrying a man, there was no longer any use for it.
“She left in a huff and told us to never speak to her again,” the mother said.
Things have only continued to spiral since that shocking interaction, as now the parents’ other daughter is angry at them as well.
“I think she is being very ungrateful,” the mom said of her engaged daughter. “I am not homophobic I respect same sex couples it is just not what I wanted for my daughter.”
Then she posed one question to the good people of Reddit: is she an asshole?
Judging from the comment section, the answer was a resounding “yes”.
“It’s not even about the money, it’s about how you refusing to give the money clearly shows that you don’t consider her relationship valid or good enough,” this person wrote. “It shows that you think less of her because of her sexuality, and that’s horrible.”
Someone else added, “If you’re so homeopathic (homophobic) that you won’t pay for your daughters wedding as promised, then you don’t have any right to be part of any family she creates with her wife.”
Others were quick to point out that just because her daughter is marrying a woman doesn’t mean her parents won’t have any grandchildren, as the mom said she feared.
“You should also know that same sex couples can adopt or get a donor,” one user said, “and you’re on a fast track to never being able to see your grandchildren, deservedly so.”
Another added, “I hate when parent use ‘I wanted grandchildren’ as an excuse for homophobia. If the daughter was infertile they would’ve probably happily accepted that and be fine with her adopting/not having kids, same sex couples can do that too!”
After receiving so many comments condemning her decision to withhold the money, the mom shared an update.
“I wasn’t expecting this reaction,” she wrote . “Thank you for the lovely messages threatening me and calling me a homophobe. I have rethought my stance and I will be trying to be more understanding of my daughter.”
Although it’s unclear whether or not the parents have decided their daughter deserves her wedding fund, it appears the mom has at least decided to be more open-minded about her daughter’s sexuality. Which is a start, anyway.
h/t: Reddit
