Moms are superhumans. Throughout pregnancy, they were able to take great care of themselves and their baby, and now when their little miracle is here, they somehow find the strength to keep doing it.
Okay, nobody is saying that being a mom is easy and sometimes it gets really hard. Like when the mother-in-law comes to visit and starts treating the baby like her own. New mom Redditor u/newmomma353 had some super tough weeks and was finally taking a moment to vent about it in a viral post on r/AITA.
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She asked people for advice about things that have been going on in her family during her newborn son’s first weeks. Everything went completely out of control when the in-laws started staying at the new mom’s place during her son’s first weeks. Things quickly got out of hand as it turned out that the mom-in-law kept taking the baby for hours and didn’t return him to the new mom when he needed to be fed.
Things got really ugly, but as hard as it was, the new mom didn’t give in and asked her MIL nicely, again and again, to give her back her baby so she could feed him. But the situation got even tenser when the mom’s husband started siding with his mom over his wife.
An overwhelmed new mom struggles with her in-laws who don’t want to give back her baby after feeding.
A new mom struggles to get her baby back from MIL who refuses to hand it over for feeding.
MIL refused to give the baby back for feeding – mom didn’t appreciate husband’s comment
Mom flies off the handle when MIL won’t give the baby back
Cryin’ & cussin’: MIL takes the baby for hours & new mom gets scolded for getting mad
Mom calls out MIL for not returning baby for feeding
New mom gets called a jerk for standing up to her MIL
As a new mom, overwhelming emotions can take a toll. In this post , the writer details her experience when her mother-in-law refused to give her baby back so she can feed him. After repeatedly asking, the writer finally raised her voice, ultimately leading to her husband calling her a b**** and accusing her of being uncomfortable with his parents being around.
Despite the writer feeling guilty for her behavior, many people in the comments sympathized with her, showing their support. But who is in the wrong here?
Let’s delve into this story and find out…
NTA: protect yourself and baby
Commenter urges OP to ‘pack her gear and take baby to her parents’ and to ‘re-think her relationship’ as her husband had been yelling at her while she was feeding the baby. Commenter emphasizes that it’s important to ‘protect her mental/physical health at all cost’ by taking action.
Mom’s husband calling her a + preventing her from feeding her own child
NTA at all and the mom’s husband was wrong for calling her a “whiney little girl” and preventing her from feeding her child, even when the baby was crying. This comment was replied to by agreeing that the father’s behavior was wrong and shocking.
New mom gets for not being nice enough to MIL
The section comment advises the new mom to take her child and go to her mom’s place, as her husband is an a**hole. Replies to the comment suggest the new mom call her parents to come and get her and to tell her midwife and pediatrician for resources and help.
MIL hogging baby, OP ✔ NTA
The original poster (OP) is not the a**hole in this case, as their mother-in-law (MIL) is hogging the baby and not giving it back for feeding, causing the baby to cry. The OP is advised to get out of the situation as soon as possible, and the commenter wishes them luck and safety. A reply to the comment states that the OP’s reaction to every little thing is being questioned by the MIL, affecting their mental health.
NTA!!!
The section comment strongly advises the new mom to take her baby to her parents and file for divorce as the husband is an abuser. Replies to the section comment indicate that the husband has been gaslighting the new mom and belittling her, which is causing her humiliation in front of his parents.
Divorce him.
The comment suggests that divorce may be the only way to end the situation for the exhausted new mom, who is not receiving support from her mother-in-law with regard to feeding the baby. Another reply confirms the sentiment, describing the exhaustion the new mom is feeling from the lack of support from her husband’s mother.
NTA: find a safe
The commenter advises the new mom to find a safe place to get away from the MIL who won’t give the baby back for feeding. The commenter’s suggestion is confirmed by one of the replies, which states that the husband wouldn’t allow it.
MIL won’t give the baby back⁉️ NTA
The commenter the OP declares NTA (not the a**hole) in response to the situation. A reply reveals that the husband is lashing out without any clear reason.
NTA! Stand up for yourself!
The comment encourages the new mom to stand up for herself as she is Not The A**hole, and seek support from family or friends until the MIL has gone. The OP’s reply thanks the commenter for the advice and confirms that they will take the advice.
New mom is by her MIL
The commenter NTA is urging the new mom to take her baby and go to her own mother’s place as her husband has no right to behave the way he did. In the comment replies, she is being warned that her husband’s message is that her mother-in-law’s wants supersede that of the new mom and her baby’s needs.
NTA – MIL and husband are way out of line
The commenter says the OP is not the a**hole, claiming the MIL’s and husband’s behavior is out of line. The comment is backed up by the reply, which says they are at the least verbally abusive.
MIL tries to take baby NTA
Commenter is appalled that MIL is trying to claim the baby as her own, asking why bonding time with the granny is more important than with the mother. Commenter reminds us that the baby’s mother should have priority and that the baby must gain weight. MIL is also accused of using the baby as a tool to paint the mother as an ‘unfit’ one.
Replies accuse MIL of treating the baby as an object that does not belong to her and supports the MIL should help by cleaning and doing the grocery, rather than taking the baby away from his mother.
Time to❗️leave MIL behind❗️
NTA: The commenter suggests the OP take her infant and leave her MIL behind, as her husband’s swearing and disrespect are not acceptable. They further suggest filing for an immediate divorce, so the OP can have a better life.
The new mom stands strong! ✊
A new mom is facing extreme unfairness from her mother-in-law and husband. She is primally enraged at them and stands her ground by not giving in to their gaslighting and cruelty. She should go to her own parents’ house with her baby. She is Not The A**hole in this situation.
NTA but your MIL and ⚔️DH⚔️ are giant a**holes. Get out now!
The commenter says the OP is not the a**hole, but the MIL and the husband are. This abusive behavior must stop immediately, and the commenter recommends the new mom pack up and leave the house with the baby before the situation worsens.
MIL mistreatment
The comment discussed the mistreatment of the new mom by her husband. The comment suggests that she should go to her mum and take the baby away from her husband who will never put her first and change his behavior.
New mom’s struggle ♀️
The commenter said the OP is ‘NTA (Not The A**hole). They advise: ‘Honey, take your baby to your parents house’ in support of the new mom’s predicament with her MIL who won’t give the baby back for feeding.
No boundary on MIL abuse
The comment states that MIL’s holding the newborn for hours and not returning him when he’s crying is emotionally abusive towards the mother and abusive to the newborn. The replies back up the sentiment by adding that the husband and parents are going too far.
Mom told to and GTFO
The comment suggests that the new mom should take her baby and leave her in-laws to avoid more conflict. A reply to this comment agrees with the suggestion and adds to it by suggesting that she should pack a bag and get out quickly.
A shocking plea for help
The original commenter implores the OP to RUN away and give their child the chance at a loving environment. The reply agrees and emphasizes how dire the situation is.
Go, mom!
The commenter calls the mom NTA (not the a**hole) and urges her to take the baby and leave the negative environment.
No one tells parents how to parent
The main comment states that the baby should only go to the mother for feeding and not grandma and that the husband should be on the same page as the mother. The main comment states that the mother is NTA (not the a**hole) in this situation.
No respect for the new mom ♀️
NTA, but the new mom should get a lawyer for her divorce from her husband. It is clear that there is no respect between the new mom and her husband’s mother, and this absence of respect casts a worrying shadow as to how the rest of her relationship will be. She should think twice if she wants her child to grow up and be in a similar relationship.
New mom unfairly ✊ treated by MIL ❤️
The commenter passionately defends the new mom and explains that her husband is a mama’s boy who fails to show her the respect she deserves. They suggest the new mom take her baby and stay with her mother to give her husband and MIL time to reflect on their behavior.
MIL ♀️️ doesn’t want to give the back?
NTA (not the a**hole) – husband’s behavior is unacceptable and it appears to be a case of gaslighting. The commenter suggests getting rid of the husband.
New mom stands firm!
The commenter says that the new mom is NTA (not the a**hole) because her MIL has been treating her horribly and it’s not safe for her or the baby. The commenter suggests that she should find another place (friend or sibling) to stay.
️️️No NTA – MIL shouldn’t keep the baby away for feeding!
The commenter believes that the new mom is not the a**hole here, as it is concerning that the MIL is not respecting the fact that the baby needs to be fed. The commenter suggests that the mom should have a serious talk with her husband, as there may be deeper issues at play.
MIL refuses to hand baby
The comment said that NTA (not the a**hole), as it’s strange that the MIL won’t hand over a crying baby to its mother to feed.
Divorcing couple
Commenter says NTA (not the a**hole) as the couple is going through a divorce.
New Mom vs MIL
The commenter says the OP is NTA (not the a-hole) and is advising the new mom to take her son away from her MIL who is a piece of work, and her husband who is an a-hole. The commenter expresses empathy for the difficult situation the new mom is facing.
MIL refuses to give the baby back ♀️
The commenter says the OP is not the a-hole in this situation and suggests that the new mom goes to her parent’s house. They also mention that the husband is an a-hole.
NTA! New mom isn’t/shouldn’t be disrespected!
The commenter believes the new mom is Not The A**hole (NTA) for feeling overwhelmed and not being respected by her MIL. The commenter believes the husband is an a**hole for not standing by the new mom and completely dismissing her feelings. The commenter stands in support of the new mom and believes she is an amazing mom for everything she has been through.
NTA—Mom needs a break ♀️
The comment suggests the new mom is not the a-hole in this situation, but her husband is. The comment encourages the mom to take herself and the baby to her mom’s house, even if it’s just to get a break, as she is feeling uncomfortable in her own home.
MIL won’t give baby back➡️NTA. Husband should back his wife⭐️
The comment says NTA (not the a**hole) in response to the new mom’s situation and goes on to say that any husband who does not back his wife in a disagreement with anyone is worthy of being an ex. It also suggests that the in-laws should not stay for more than a day or two.
MIL takes child without permission!
NTA at all. MIL is being selfish not letting OP have time with their own child and also obstructing their feeding time. OP should stay with their parents for the baby’s and their own sake.
MIL vs Mom: Who’s right?
The commenter says NTA (not the a**hole) to the new mom for snapping at her mother-in-law while pointing out that it’s her baby, not the MIL’s. The bigger issue, according to the commenter, is that the hubby is taking the mother-in-law’s side over the mom’s, saying the MIL shows the baby more love. This is seen as a red flag and a conversation needs to happen between the husband and wife.
MIL drama ♀️
The commenter suggested that the new mom is not the a**hole, that her in-laws are ‘just nos’, and that she should seek help from justnomils.org.
♀️ New Mom’s MIL not giving baby back for feeding!
The commenter declares the new mom NTA (not the a-hole). The MIL is in the wrong for actively keeping the mom from feeding the hungry baby. The commenter suggests that the new mom go to her own mom’s place until the MIL leaves, so the new mom and hubby can have time to work out the issues.
For new moms:
The commenter suggests getting away from the MIL and taking the baby for safety reasons.
MIL won’t give back the baby
The commenter is NTA and deems the husband’s behavior as terrible, suggesting getting a divorce.
NTA You don’t have an IL problem; you have an SO problem that needs to be fixed.
This comment advises the new mom not to be called a jerk for not being nice enough to MIL who won’t give the baby back for feeding. The commenter advises her to take the baby somewhere safe and to ask her husband to meet her at a coffee shop to talk about the issue. They also recommend r/JustNoMIL as a resource for helpful advice and tips.
MIL doesn’t deserve the baby!
![Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]](https://diplycom5cc47.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://static.diply.com/63e0c2ac-91c0-4339-b08f-f3a38e014926.png)
The MIL has no right to keep the baby and the OP’s husband should stop defending her. OP should stay with her mom and do what she believes is best for her baby.
♀️ MIL won’t give baby back? ♀️
NTA – not the a**hole – the commenter agrees that MIL and husband are a-holes for not returning the baby after feeding. They suggest packing up the child and leaving the situation.
MIL overpowering new mom ♂️
NTA. The comment states that the new mom’s MIL is overpowering her with her own baby and that the husband should not be letting that happen. The comment also suggests that the husband’s disrespectful demeanor towards the mom is not okay. The comment suggests the mom go stay with her parents if her husband and his mom aren’t going to change any time soon.
NTA. Baby needs ⚖️, not possessive grandparents
Commenter says NTA for not being nice to MIL as baby needs food and its mother, not possessive grandparents.
MIL won’t give baby back? NTA!!
The commentator expresses that the husband is a danger to their newborn child and that the poster must leave for their safety. They also comment on how their husband doesn’t care for either the mom’s safety or their newborn’s.
Leave MIL!
Commenter urges the original poster to take the baby and leave the mother-in-law’s house, as their behavior is not conducive to a healthy relationship.
Mom gets slammed
The commenter is shocked by the mother-in-law’s behavior and expresses outrage in the form of an opinion that the husband is insane.
NTA – MIL & Husband need an attitude adjustment ♂️
The commenter believes that neither the MIL nor the husband is in the right. They should focus on the baby’s needs, not their own egos. The OP is not the a-hole in this situation.
Don’t let in-laws control
NTA! The husband was verbally abusive. It’s time to take a stand and get her and the baby out of an unhealthy situation. The mom should let her parents know and have them help her pack her things and leave. If the husband doesn’t change, she should file for a divorce. Her and the baby deserve better.
NTA: MIL wrongfully withholds baby
The comment highlights the wrongfulness of MIL in withholding the newborn baby from their parents, regardless of any circumstances. The comment also expresses sympathy and regret for the original poster’s husband not sticking up for her.
New mom not ♀️being nice enough to MIL⛔️
The commenter says OP is NTA and believes that the mother should take her son back with her in order to feed him and avoid a cranky child. The commenter mentions that the baby needs to be fed, and implies that the grandmother should not be allowed to keep the baby longer than necessary.
MIL playing games with new mom’s baby
The comment highlights how MIL’s control-freak attitude is causing a lot of stress to the new mom, who only wants to feed her baby. The comment further questions why MIL is so possessive about the baby and why she refuses to give him back to his mother for feeding. The comment also mentions how the husband is failing to recognize the issue.
MIL & spouse ♀️ NTA
The commenter says that the mother is Not The A**hole (NTA) and that both the mother-in-law (MIL) and her spouse are total a**holes – selfish and not supportive. They advise the mother to consider what kind of life she wants going forward with her husband if he’s willing to treat her like this.
Leave toxic family
The commenter recommended the new mom leave her husband’s toxic family and go to her mom’s place.
Woman faces MIL disrespect
The commenter believes that the new mother should leave her partner if he is not standing up for her against his mother’s disrespect towards her.
MIL meddles with ‘s parenting⁉️
The commenter suggests the mom leave for her parent’s house, as her MIL has no right to bond with her baby more than she does. Breastfeeding isn’t an excuse for this behavior either.
NTA! Protect your + baby’s needs
The commenter states that the new mom is Not The A**hole for protecting her and her baby’s needs. The commenter goes on to say that the MIL’s feelings should not impede the baby’s needs and that the baby should be handed over to the mom for any needs that arise.
Husband’s an Who’s The A-Hole?
Commenter suggests the root of the problem is the husband’s behavior, asking if he’s always an a-hole or just when his mom is around.
NTA: Get the and ♂️!
The commenter urged the new mom to take the baby and get out of the house, suggesting she needs a divorce and is Not The A-hole.
MIL not respecting boundaries + husband’s negligence? NTA
The commenter states that the MIL is not respecting boundaries by visiting at 10 pm and that the husband is an a**hole for kowtowing to his mother’s needs before his own family. The commenter suggests the couple rethink their relationship if the husband’s behavior continues to prioritize his mother.
New mom gets for feeding baby
The commenter NTA encourages the new mom to stand up for herself and go to her mom’s place until her husband apologizes and her MIL leaves. They also remind her that breastfeeding is special but exhausting and will take hard work to establish a steady supply and get into a groove with the baby.
