Work friendships are key to keeping sane at your job. However, one Reddit user became concerned when her husband’s friendship with his “work wife” got a little too real, and now she’s asking the internet for advice on how to handle it.
The red flags popped up immediately
“My husband has a “work wife”, they are friends who go out to lunch often and tease each other and talk about some personal things. She brings him homemade lunches sometimes and he’s brought her left over desserts (that I made!). It didn’t bother me at first, but it feels like she has a connection to him that I don’t,” Redditor NewestAccount2023 said.
It got weirder
“To make matters worse she ‘work-proposed’ to him to ‘make their work-relationship work-official,’ she playfully feels like he’s not a real work husband if they don’t have an actual work wedding. He thinks it’s hilarious, and their manager said it’s a fine excuse to throw a party out of their pizza party funds – they throw celebratory parties somewhat often when they ship a product or land a big client.”
The parties are usually pretty big
“The parties are usually a few grand in food and drinks and entertainment. His company is a dream come true but I think him and his friend are taking this too far. He was planning on wearing his normal work clothes to the “wedding” but there’s rumors she’s going to wear her wedding dress from her failed marriage (she’s been divorced for 5 years).”
Yeah, this is not normal
If my partner had someone propose to them and try to wear their wedding garb that they wore to their first marriage, I’d definitely have some objections. I think work “marriages” can be pretty harmless if all parties involved (including partners) are in on the joke, but this seems to go above and beyond any idea of propriety.
Commenters thought it was weird, too
“As a man who was uncomfortable with people calling my (much younger) coworker my ‘work wife’ and put a stop to it by speaking up – your husband is a huge [expletive] and needs to put a stop to this,” itsMalarky declared.
I have to agree. The poster’s husband has allowed all of this to go way too far, and it seems like he isn’t taking his actual wife’s feelings into account.
Some even thought the work lunches were too much
“This is not normal or acceptable. People joke about work spouses when it comes to people who work really well together and complement each other in the professional field. That’s whatever. But honestly, bringing each other lunch/dessert, going out to lunch, etc. is crossing the line. It could be that your husband is taking it lightly, but it seems like SHE is seriously obsessed with him. The fact that he is disregarding your feelings about it makes it that much worse,” PassionnPain5 said.
Work wives shared their thoughts
“I’m good friends with my guy friend at work. I’m also considerate of his wife. This is way too far. And the term work wife is insulting to the wife. Tell him his office is going o celebrate his real divorce if he doesn’t cool it right now,” sappy6977 said.
You know you have a good work partner when they can recognize the red flags in other people’s deeply weird work relationships!
Some had pretty funny ideas on crashing the “wedding”
“I think you showing up is a good idea, make it awkward- your presence should make them (the ‘happy couple’ and the office wedding party) realize how stupid and cringey this all is,” s8i8m replied.
Now this is a hell of an idea. It’s dramatic, it’s petty, and it’s guaranteed to send the right message to everyone involved. I’d give anything to see this play out.
Some shared stories of their silly work marriages
”Have you considered having an affair with your husband? Get him to take you out on lunch dates, maybe take him home to have some fun with you. That’s how I do it. I cheat on my work wife with my actual wife. She’s the same way. She cheats on her work husband with me. The only tricky part is that we’re each other’s work spouse as well. I almost caught myself with her the other day, man, that was tense,” Thegnome2223 shared.
This made me genuinely laugh out loud, so much so that my own work wife (and real wife) asked me what I was laughing at. The energy these people’s marriage has is actual marriage goals.
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Seems to me like this is definitely too much
Having fun in the workplace is definitely a great way to make any job a little bit easier, but there has to be a limit to how that fun is had. Establishing boundaries and communicating with both your work friends and your spouse is the key to a harmonious (and literal) work/life balance!
What do you think? Have you had a work spouse before, and how did that go? Let us know!