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Mother-In-Law Upset With Me For Celebrating My Daughter’s Birthday On The Same Day As Her Deceased Father’s Anniversary

by Alfe Mercado
2 years ago
in Family, People & Society
Reading Time: 13 mins read
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Unsplash | Annie Spratt

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Mother-in-law causes drama over daughter’s birthday celebration

It’s every parent’s wish to give their child the best birthday celebration possible, but what happens when your in-laws don’t agree with your plans? This is exactly the situation that a grieving mother found herself in on the first anniversary of her husband’s death. Despite wanting to celebrate her daughter’s sixth birthday, which happened to fall on the same day as her husband’s remembrance ceremony, the mother-in-law was not pleased with the idea. Things escalated quickly, with the mother-in-law accusing her daughter-in-law of being callous and disrespectful towards her deceased husband. The situation has left the mother feeling unsure about whether she did the right thing. However, it’s important to remember that grief is a complex emotion and everyone deals with it differently. In this case, the mother felt that giving her daughter a birthday celebration was the best way to honor her late husband’s love for their child. While it’s understandable that the mother-in-law may have been hurt, it’s crucial to consider the needs of the living while still being respectful towards the deceased. Keep reading to see what others had to say about this emotional situation.

Choosing to celebrate a child’s birthday is not an attack. NTA

Image credit: Unhappy-Coffee-1917 | Unhappy-Coffee-1917
Unhappy-Coffee-1917 | Unhappy-Coffee-1917

Celebrating life over mourning death. NTA, keep celebrating

Image credit: iflssm97 | iflssm97
iflssm97 | iflssm97

Celebrate birthdays separately from remembrance ceremonies to avoid conflict.

Image credit: stevedresnor | stevedresnor
stevedresnor | stevedresnor

Choosing joy over grief on daughter’s birthday ❤️

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Supporting daughter’s birthday on same day as deceased father’s anniversary

Image credit: theCumCatcher | theCumCatcher
theCumCatcher | theCumCatcher

Choosing to celebrate a living child’s birthday is healthy

Image credit: RedoubtableSouth | RedoubtableSouth
RedoubtableSouth | RedoubtableSouth

Don’t let grief deny your daughter’s birthday celebration

Image credit: Sir-HP23 | Sir-HP23
Sir-HP23 | Sir-HP23

Supportive NTA comment with backlash against MIL’s behavior

Image credit: M4String | M4String
M4String | M4String

Protecting your daughter from emotional abuse is top priority ‍♀️

Image credit: Follower38 | Follower38
Follower38 | Follower38

Protecting your daughter is the priority

Image credit: ItchyDoggg | ItchyDoggg
ItchyDoggg | ItchyDoggg

Let your daughter have her birthday, MIL’s expectations are unfair

Image credit: Redefined421 | Redefined421
Redefined421 | Redefined421

Celebrating a birthday shouldn’t be a day of mourning.

Image credit: vanastalem | vanastalem
vanastalem | vanastalem

Dealing with loss is difficult, but don’t forget to celebrate life ❤️

Image credit: prettylittlepastry | prettylittlepastry
prettylittlepastry | prettylittlepastry

Celebrate life, not death! NTA for daughter’s birthday.

Image credit: Cocoasneeze | Cocoasneeze
Cocoasneeze | Cocoasneeze

Celebrating life amid grief: Handling in-law’s reaction with empathy ❤️

Image credit: Brian051770 | Brian051770
Brian051770 | Brian051770

Celebrate birthdays, not just death anniversaries. NTA

Image credit: 3heartsattic | 3heartsattic
3heartsattic | 3heartsattic

Respectful celebration of life

Image credit: deemossy | deemossy
deemossy | deemossy

Celebrate life while mourning death

Image credit: Katana1369 | Katana1369
Katana1369 | Katana1369

Suggests separating daughter’s birthday from deceased father’s anniversary. ⚖️

Image credit: Unit-Healthy | Unit-Healthy
Unit-Healthy | Unit-Healthy

Toxic prolonged grief can ruin family relationships

Image credit: Pretty-Appearance762 | Pretty-Appearance762
Pretty-Appearance762 | Pretty-Appearance762

Respectful birthday celebration causes conflict with in-laws. NTA

Image credit: Lipstick_On | Lipstick_On
Lipstick_On | Lipstick_On

Celebrating daughter’s birthday on deceased father’s anniversary – NTA

Image credit: deepseahermit | deepseahermit
deepseahermit | deepseahermit

Celebrate life and joy amidst grief

Image credit: CrimsonRose3773 | CrimsonRose3773
CrimsonRose3773 | CrimsonRose3773

Celebrate the birth not the death. NTA.

Image credit: Proper-Sheepherder-8 | Proper-Sheepherder-8
Proper-Sheepherder-8 | Proper-Sheepherder-8

A heartfelt NTA reply suggests expressing love and respect in a letter

Image credit: Babsgarcia | Babsgarcia
Babsgarcia | Babsgarcia

Supportive response to difficult situation, encourage setting boundaries with in-laws.

Image credit: MD7001 | MD7001
MD7001 | MD7001

Let your daughter celebrate her birthday without guilt

Image credit: LoliQueef | LoliQueef
LoliQueef | LoliQueef

Don’t let grief overshadow joy. NTA for celebrating daughter’s birthday

Image credit: ghostofumich2005 | ghostofumich2005
ghostofumich2005 | ghostofumich2005

Celebrate your daughter’s birthday without guilt. NTA

Image credit: suitscolor32 | suitscolor32
suitscolor32 | suitscolor32

Parent holds composure after receiving devastating news during daughter’s birthday

Image credit: secret-tunnellll | secret-tunnellll
secret-tunnellll | secret-tunnellll

Deceased father’s anniversary vs daughter’s birthday: NTA prioritizes daughter’s happiness ❤️

Image credit: Poncemastergeneral | Poncemastergeneral
Poncemastergeneral | Poncemastergeneral

Celebrate life while you can ❤️ Ignore their negativity.

Image credit: Whole_Bug9752 | Whole_Bug9752
Whole_Bug9752 | Whole_Bug9752

Navigating grief and family events: empathetic advice for MIL conflict ❤️

Image credit: bullfrogfantasies | bullfrogfantasies
bullfrogfantasies | bullfrogfantasies

Don’t let grief overshadow joy NTA

Image credit: Stravinsky00 | Stravinsky00
Stravinsky00 | Stravinsky00

Allowing joy on a painful day is not callous

Image credit: OverwerkedNUnderpaid | OverwerkedNUnderpaid
OverwerkedNUnderpaid | OverwerkedNUnderpaid

Celebrate your daughter’s birthday & her father’s memory. NTA!

Image credit: timothysleven | timothysleven
timothysleven | timothysleven

Celebrate life, not death Your daughter’s birthday should be joyous.

Image credit: jammy913 | jammy913
jammy913 | jammy913

NTA. Loss is hard on everyone, but you’re doing great ❤️

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Letting a child have a normal birthday despite family drama

Image credit: UnicornCackle | UnicornCackle
UnicornCackle | UnicornCackle

Supportive comment, praising OP for prioritizing daughter’s wellbeing.

Image credit: someone-w-issues | someone-w-issues
someone-w-issues | someone-w-issues

Celebrate your daughter’s birthday. MIL’s behavior is disgusting

Image credit: knintn | knintn
knintn | knintn

Suggestion to honor husband’s memory without overshadowing daughter’s birthday

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Let your daughter have a happy birthday! NTA

Image credit: PhillyCyn | PhillyCyn
PhillyCyn | PhillyCyn

Celebrate your daughter’s birthday on the same day as her deceased father’s anniversary? NTA.

Image credit: RoyallyOakie | RoyallyOakie
RoyallyOakie | RoyallyOakie

Celebrate daughter’s birthday without fear. Document confrontation

Image credit: FuckUGalen | FuckUGalen
FuckUGalen | FuckUGalen

Heartwarming story of celebrating loved ones, empathy at its finest ❤️

Image credit: YaNoIFeel | YaNoIFeel
YaNoIFeel | YaNoIFeel

Insensitive mother-in-law ruins granddaughter’s birthday, NTA commenter advises

Image credit: NotARobotDefACyborg | NotARobotDefACyborg
NotARobotDefACyborg | NotARobotDefACyborg

Celebrate your daughter’s birthday and remember your father-in-law respectfully

Image credit: MoyamoyaWarrior | MoyamoyaWarrior
MoyamoyaWarrior | MoyamoyaWarrior

Celebrate life, not death! ‍ #NTA

Image credit: tessafer55 | tessafer55
tessafer55 | tessafer55

Celebrating opposite things on the same day may be too much

Image credit: Capolan | Capolan
Capolan | Capolan

Putting your daughter first on her birthday ❤️

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Celebrate the life that once was on the day of remembrance ❤️

Image credit: The_Smiddy_ | The_Smiddy_
The_Smiddy_ | The_Smiddy_

Don’t let them dictate your daughter’s happiness. NTA

Image credit: Yserem | Yserem
Yserem | Yserem

NTA, MIL doesn’t care about your kids

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Heartwarming support for mom celebrating daughter’s birthday on tough day ❤️

Image credit: MrzJugzz | MrzJugzz
MrzJugzz | MrzJugzz

Grief can make people act irrationally. Tread carefully with compromises. ❤️

Image credit: crowqueen | crowqueen
crowqueen | crowqueen

Celebrate the living despite grief Visit cemetery, then party!

Image credit: Dfiggsmeister | Dfiggsmeister
Dfiggsmeister | Dfiggsmeister

Heartbreaking story of a birthday party turned tragedy

Image credit: blnde31ee | blnde31ee
blnde31ee | blnde31ee

Celebrate your daughter’s birthday without guilt.

Image credit: 1800TurdFerguson | 1800TurdFerguson
1800TurdFerguson | 1800TurdFerguson

Empathetic response to OP’s difficult situation with a positive outcome

Image credit: reading_along | reading_along
reading_along | reading_along

Don’t cancel your child’s birthday to memorialize your husband’s death

Image credit: Party_Teacher6901 | Party_Teacher6901
Party_Teacher6901 | Party_Teacher6901

Celebrate the life lost and the life gained

Image credit: knitlikeaboss | knitlikeaboss
knitlikeaboss | knitlikeaboss

Celebrating birthdays shouldn’t be overshadowed by loss. NTA ❤️

Image credit: Ekko-Zero | Ekko-Zero
Ekko-Zero | Ekko-Zero

Celebrate the living. NTA for choosing your daughter’s happiness

Image credit: AsparaWarsothe | AsparaWarsothe
AsparaWarsothe | AsparaWarsothe

A touching NTA comment on celebrating daughter’s birthday amidst grief

Image credit: Freakin_Merida88 | Freakin_Merida88
Freakin_Merida88 | Freakin_Merida88

Honoring husband’s legacy by celebrating daughter’s birthday, but in-laws grieving

Image credit: Ok-Baseball-1230 | Ok-Baseball-1230
Ok-Baseball-1230 | Ok-Baseball-1230
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