Many new moms look forward to the wonders of being a mother and having a baby. The joys that come along with being a new parent can be incredible and exciting. However, one thing new moms often worry about is the weight they will put on when they are pregnant and after giving birth.
For many new moms, losing their baby weight is something they don’t worry about early on.
Instead, they focus on the wellbeing of their newborn child, making sure they are fed and taken care of. For many, losing weight is the last thing on their mind as a mother.
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However, it seems that there is still a stigma around new mothers and their weight.
Society likes to prioritize how a mother looks after giving birth over everything else. Many people encourage new moms to “look great” or “look like they didn’t even have a baby,” even when they are recovering from childbirth or need to eat extra calories for breastfeeding.
But, when people comment on new mothers’ weight gain or loss, it can be offensive and harsh.
Recently, one new mother wrote into Reddit asking if she was overreacting after her mother-in-law (MIL) “fat-shamed her,” seven months after the mom gave birth. She said that her MIL is someone who is very concerned with “outward appearances.”
The mom explained that she and her husband used to be in “phenomenal shape.”
“Me [ sic ] and my husband were avid gym-goers when we were younger my husband played basketball in college and we both were in phenomenal shape but it wasn’t realistic with career and now mom and dad life,” she said.
The mom said she and her husband still focus on their health, but their bodies have naturally changed.
“I still think we look great and we are very healthy and eat all the vegetables and fruit you can imagine and we still work out but we no longer have washboard abs, if ya know what I mean,” she wrote.
Throughout her pregnancy, the woman’s MIL picked on the couple’s eating habits and weight gain.
She even said that her MIL refused to feed them more when they came over for dinner one night. So much so, she pretended she didn’t have more food left, but it was really that she didn’t want to feed them more because of their weight.
When the couple went to celebrate MIL’s birthday, seven months after her grandchild was born, the MIL still had things to say about the new mom’s weight.
“I was talking to my husband’s cousin about how I’m finally fitting back into my size things and how happy I am and she pipes in that I need to eat smaller portions and I’ll really lose weight, she said it multiple times, ‘If you eat smaller portions it’s ok the baby will get what it needs’ [and] ‘You just need to eat smaller portions,'” the woman wrote.
The mom said she was embarrassed, and felt shamed and judged by her MIL.
“I’m so annoyed and hurt by this and feel like I don’t even want to eat around her because she’s ‘judging my portions’. I know that my body is amazing, I know [I] eat so healthy and provide great nutrients for my baby so I shouldn’t feel so uneasy but I can’t help it,” she wrote.
She asked Reddit if she was “overreacting” to her MIL’s comments.
Many said the mother was not overreacting and shared their own personal experiences with mothers and MILs.
“My own mother tried to starve me while I was pregnant because she didn’t want me to gain too much weight. Needless to say she’s no longer in my life and will never meet my child,” one person said.
Some Reddit users offered advice to this new mom.
“You tell her or text her, ‘Hey MIL, my body and my body weight is [ sic ] none of your business, stop making comments, keep your opinions to yourself,'” one user said in response to the mom’s post.
A number of people said that this mom should be proud of her body for what it has accomplished.
“Your body grew a whole person and is now nourishing that person. Anyone’s opinion on your body needs to hop back in their mouth,” another user wrote.
Some applauded this mom and said she just needs to keep doing what she’s doing.
“I know it’s hard to ignore her, but it sounds like you’re doing a great job doing what you need to for your little one, so ignore away. If she says anything, ignore it, like continue to talk over her as if she didn’t even open her mouth,” one user commented.
Overall, it seems that Reddit users supported this mom and weren’t here for her MIL’s comments.
Many users shared stories about how they were also body-shamed after giving birth and said it’s something we need to stop doing to new moms.
Do you think this mom was overreacting to her MIL’s comments or was her reaction justified?
Others said the MIL seems to be projecting problems of her own.
“First, you are awesome. Second, usually people like this have eating disorders of their own and are projecting. I’m sorry that you are her target,” one person added to the thread.