For anyone who doesn’t know, child support payments are a series of periodical financial payments made by a parent to benefit a child (or children) after the end of a marriage or relationship.
Basically, it’s like an allowance given to another parent to help raise the kids.
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Now, I’m no expert here, but I’d say that judging from that description, it only seems right that money goes towards the child and not the parent.
Even though it’s the parent who’s receiving the money from their ex-partner, it’s really meant to be used on their kids.
However, one mom has spoken up to argue that she has every right to use child support on herself.
According to Cafe Mom , the woman posted an anonymous essay on Kidspot about the topic.
She insisted that there’s nothing wrong with using those monthly child support payments to fund activities for herself, like going to get her nails done.
Not surprisingly, close friends and family around her do not agree.
While she says this is perfectly fine, some of the people in her life have pointed out the problem with this.
Her sister-in-law and her friend, Dave, have both reminded her that those payments are quite literally meant to go towards supporting her children. Hence the name.
If she really wants to get her nails done, Dave argued, she should use the money she earns from her job.
Her sister-in-law agreed and said the child support should go into a different account because after all, “it’s not technically your money, is it?”
The woman, however, begs to differ and argued that the money should be hers to spend how she pleases.
She lists the things her own weekly payments go towards, or what she calls “the essentials”.
This includes rent, groceries, bills, and other occasional expenses, like money for a class trip or for new shoes for her kids.
“If at the end of all that I have some ‘play money’ (and let’s face it, that is not often), then that extra cash for me to enjoy,” she wrote. “I do earn it after all.”
She also pointed out that her ex isn’t exactly consistent with his child support payments.
“Because the needs of our children do not change based on the mood he is in, the amount of overtime he has worked or whether he has enough sick leave to cover flu season, I take care of their needs out of the income I can rely on,” she wrote.
“If I am reimbursed for some of that by way of a child support payment then damn straight that income is mine and I will use it, however I see fit.”
As the custodial parent, the woman insisted she doesn’t owe anyone any explanation on her spending.
“It baffles me that so many still see child support as a generous gift for which custodial parents should be notably grateful, rather than a token contribution to the financial support of children each parent helped to create,” she wrote.
“Custodial parents, bearing the full cost of raising the children, should never have to explain away or justify their spending.”
“They have every right to receive child support payments, to claim them as their own, and to use them however they see fit,” she continued.
“And this week, courtesy of my ex-husband, my nails are unapologetically fabulous.”
Yikes.
At the end of the day, no one can tell her how to spend her money because she’s the one in charge of it all.
As long as her children are kept well-fed, clothed, and happy (which, if her essay is any indication, it sounds like they are), then perhaps it’s fair to say she should be free to spend a little money treating herself here and there.
That being said, something just feels really wrong about taking money out of payments meant for your children and your children alone. I just can’t get behind this one.
h/t: Cafe Mom
