Sometimes in life, someone who you thought you knew can reveal something very surprising about themselves with one short statement. Often, it’s just mentioned in passing like it’s no big deal, but how casually they say it only makes it clearer that they believe something you never expected.
This phenomenon has led to many uncomfortable Thanksgiving dinners, but it’s resulted in even more Facebook arguments.
So, likely in an effort to avoid that very thing, one mom put her perspective in one thoughtful post.
RELATED STORIES
For Heather Boyer of Houston, Mississippi, things started out simply enough.
Hey daughter, Kennedy, had just changed her profile picture to include her new boyfriend. That’s definitely not out of the ordinary when someone enters a relationship.
However, it was only about five minutes after this happened when Boyer received a text.
Without naming any names, she shared the message, which read, “I didn’t know she was dating a black boy, did you?”
Boyer said she spent all day thinking up a response, which meant she had much more to say than a simple yes or no.
“It took me all day to think up a response, which I didn’t send personally but thought I would share for anyone else that ‘may not know,'” she wrote.
“Yes in fact I did know.”
For the record, yes, she was aware, but as she said, “the color of his skin doesn’t define who he is.”
Instead, she found the way that he treated her and her daughter a lot more illustrative in determining what kind of a person this young man is.
“What does define who is he is how he treats my daughter,” she said.
“I see my daughter dating a boy that comes to my house and shows me nothing but respect (a big deal in my book).”
In her mind, respect was the most important quality to consider.
As she wrote , “It’s always Yes Ma’am, No Ma’am, we talk about football and baseball, he tells me bye when he leaves, and has not once shown me a lack of manners or respect.”
Boyer also noticed the kind of dates he took Kennedy on and how he would often take her out to eat and to baseball games.
And since she presumably doesn’t spend the games doing this, that seems to work out well.
Boyer contrasted this to other people whose only apparent options for enjoying themselves were clubs and parties.
“I see my daughter dating a boy who treats her good.”
“He takes her on dates, to ballgames, out to eat..not to a club or partying on the weekends,” she continued.
She was also impressed by the fact that he brings Kennedy to church every Sunday.
As Boyer wrote, “He plays in the band, she sits with his family. How many young men these days make church a priority? None of the others have.”
And as she saw it, what he doesn’t do was just as important as what he does do.
For instance, she said he doesn’t hit her, cuss her out, lie to her, or make her cry.
As she put it, “Would I rather her date a white boy that did, to keep from her dating another race?”
“Absolutely not,” she concluded.
While it might seem like an obvious answer to some, for others, interracial dating is deeply frowned upon.
Ultimately, she said that the fact that her daughter has someone who loves and “treats her like a queen” makes her happy.
Sadly, she ended her post by saying, “That’s something I’ve never had in my life and I’m glad she does.”
Heather’s response to ignorance inspired others who came across the story to share their own experiences.
Dani Gray wrote, “I love this! My mom and my hubby love each other and they share the same birthday.”
Another shared this photo of their own daughter, saying “ I understand how you feel..”
“I couldn’t ask for a better young man for my baby girlfriend. I love you Tyler Cartertyler so thankful.”
h/t: Facebook | Heather Boyer
