The teenage years can be very difficult for some parents. While some teenagers go through some hard times, others are pretty easy to parent and deal with.
However, many parents have some kids who turn out to be problematic in their teenage years. Their once innocent and kind babies turn into disrespectful and angsty teenagers who talk back and stay out late.
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One mom recently wrote into a parenting blog seeking advice about her 14-year-old daughter.
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14 can be a very difficult age for many parents. When kids are 14, they are going through a few different phases in their life.
They are most likely starting high school and making new friends/experiencing new things. And, they can project this to their parents and family.
The mom says that her 14-year-old daughter has become “horrible.”
“‘Our 14-year-old daughter has turned into that horrible teenager we all read about and dread. We put up with her back chat, rudeness and laziness to name a few. She is extremely horrible to us as her parents but even her younger brother,” the mom wrote.
Apparently, the daughter has been taking a lot of her aggression out on her brother.
“Recently the situation has gotten worse to the point she has told her brother she wishes he was dead and how she wishes she was an only child. Daily we put up with her horrible side. We have tried everything to stop it,” the mom continued.
Now, the mother said her “love” for her daughter is turning into “hate.”
The mom said the love she had for her daughter is turning into hate the worse things get at home between her and her family.
It’s hard to choose between your two kids, but when one is attacking the other and won’t stop, it can be complicated.
The parents are debating sending their daughter to boarding school.
“My husband wants to send her to boarding school as we can’t deal with it anymore. She has started to cause a major split in the family. Yet she is kind-hearted and loved by everyone else. We are always commented on how well behaved, polite and fun she is,”continued the mom.
Sending their daughter to boarding school may seem rash.
Some parents may think that sending their kids to boarding school seems rash and a bit too much.
However, it allows their daughter to thrive and grow on her own and also gives her space from their son, in the parent’s eyes.
Laura Mazza, parenting columnist, wrote back to the parents who wanted to know if they were doing something wrong.
Laura said that she recalls turning 14-years-old herself.
Looking back, she said the year she turned 14, she also began to change. She said her hormones were raging, she tried bourbon for the first time, and she said she “also became a bit of an [expletive], too.”
She also said that the parents are not doing anything wrong.
“You’re not doing a thing wrong. Right now, you are going through the hormone-iest initial year of slamming doors, attitude, experimenting with bodies, drugs, and social media,” Laura continued on.
It’s true, many young teens go through this.
These are the “write-off years.”
“I am not saying that to make you worry (your daughter may never touch a drug in her life), but I call these the write-off years because you are left feeling helpless and like your sweet child has been replaced by a demon,” Laura said.
Laura also said that the parents should look at the different factors.
The advice columnist said that there are a lot of factors at play. She told the mom to consider the fact that the daughter’s emotions are at am all time high at that age.
But, also, there could be sibling jealousy in play, too.
Overall, the parenting expert says “spend time with their daughter.”
“If she doesn’t want to talk, talk to her about your day, what stressed you out. Offer pauses to get her to join in. Make excuses to spend time with her. Make an extra effort to do this. You may meet with some initial resistance, but you should see some improvement over time with consistent, gentle steps,” Laura said.
This is certainly a difficult situation!
