It can be hard for children and teens to understand how much money their parents actually spend on them. Clothes, toys, vacations, extracurricular activities… It all definitely adds up.
But how can we help them appreciate the value of a dollar better so they don’t just expect us to open our wallets whenever they see something they want?
Well, one mom who became fed up with having her bank account taken for granted decided that the best way to teach her son about money was to show him exactly how much he costs her every single month.
The unnamed mom shared her story online in the hopes of determining whether she was acting reasonably or not.
In a post shared to the subreddit r/AmITheAsshole, she began by explaining that her 17-year-old son recently asked for money to buy a new gaming system, but she refused.
“He already has plenty of gaming systems and games and doesn’t need more,” she wrote. “If he wants one he can save up and buy one.”
Obviously not wanting to give up on his gaming dreams so quickly, her son came up with an idea.
As the mom explained, he returned to her with a budget he had calculated, insisting that if they followed it, they would be able to “afford” to buy the system.
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“It was mostly just that if I buy nothing for myself for 2 months, we’ll have enough for the system,” she wrote. “I told him hell no, it’s offensive and if he wants the system he has to save up for it.”
Although that really should have been the end of it, the son still wasn’t done trying.
This time, he’d gone to his dad for a solution, and the pair came up with yet another “budget” idea to present to his mom.
As she wrote , “He and his father calculated how much I’ve been paid in child support over the years and they decided it would be a good idea to let me know how little a drop in the bucket the gaming system would be.”
That’s right: the woman’s ex-husband was insisting she had enough money to buy the system because he pays her some child support every month.
Naturally, this mom was not about to let her ex convince their son he could ask for whatever he wants, and expect to get it, just because his dad gives her a bit of money to raise him.
“I told [my son] I spend that on his expenses every month but he didn’t believe me, so I told him that if he doesn’t think so, he can pay me for his expenses every month and I’ll give him the child support.”
True to her word, the mom drafted up a “bill” to prove to her son just how much he costs her every month.
“Surprise surprise, when I gave him the bill, it showed that when you factor in all of the things I pay for in a month, it’s much more than child support,” she wrote. “Child support doesn’t even cover 30%.”
Although she made a valid point, the woman now has to deal with her ex accusing her of making their son feel like an “expensive burden.”
So she posed the question to Reddit: Was she right in showing him how much he costs, or was she being an asshole?
People online decided that, no, she was definitely *not* the asshole in this situation.
“The son probably went to the Dad asking for the system and his response was ‘isn’t that what I pay child support for?'” one user pointed out. “And that’s when the whole the game system is just a drop in the bucket conversation started.”
“The father stuck his nose where it didn’t belong and got bent out of shape when OP slammed the door shut on it.”
Others insisted this is the kind of situation many children of divorce experience when they learn about child support payments.
“Young me was quite outraged that my mom was withholding ‘my money’ from me and ‘spending it on herself,’” this user wrote. “I fully thought I should be getting it directly to be able to spend on things I wanted.”
That’s sounding a little familiar, isn’t it?
After their own mom showed them a detailed outline of their expenses month-to-month, they realized, “what my dad was paying ‘for me’ was just a drop in the ocean of what I actually cost.”
Then there were some users who offered up possible solutions so both mom and dad can co-parent their teen son peacefully on the matter.
“This is the perfect time to have the budget talk,” one person pointed out. “If this is something he really wants, cool, let’s sit down and seriously discuss how we can achieve it.”
What do you think about this situation?
Should the mom have shown her son how much he costs her every month, or could she have found a better way to teach him the value of a dollar? Let us know!
h/t: Reddit
