Back in the olden days (or the “dark times”, as I like to call them), if you wanted to make a love connection you had to get up off your couch, go be social, and hope for the best.
Now, thanks to the power of the internet, anyone can talk to anyone as long as they have a decent Wi-Fi connection. And, because of such social media sites as Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, reaching out to random strangers has never been easier.
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This complete lack of face-to-face social interaction has allowed to a bit of a slip in our shame, though. People can get pretty aggressive in their pursuit of others online, especially since they’re hidden behind a screen. Let the creepy comments commence.
One person noticed a few shameless men hitting up a woman whose picture was posted on a Facebook page.
While not exactly out of the realm of normalcy for the site, there is a bit of an interesting twist here: the men were declaring their devotion to a 19th century painting of a naked woman.
So, you know, that’s a new one.
The painting these men were falling all over themselves for belongs to an artist named William-Adolphe Bourguereau.
The picture , titled “After The Bath” , shows a young naked woman who appears to be in the process of drying herself off after (what else?) a bath. Saucy? Hardly. But to the right man with a computer, a Facebook account, and nothing else to do? Definitely.
It had been posted to the Facebook group “World Paintings” back in April 2017, but only recently earned its viral status after Twitter user and freelance journalist @kittywenham posted a taste of some of the thirsty comments this deceptively realistic painting collected.
Brace yourself, because these are some pretty cringe-inducing comments coming from some pretty cringe-inducing men.
“I kiss your full body,” one passionate poster wrote, while another followed up with, “Hello dear friend how are you”, because he’s a gentleman and knows how to properly woo a painting without getting too intense too quickly.
One man encouraged the woman to break free from her canvas and come join him in Bangladesh, offering her a passionate rendezvous to show her all that the 21st century has to offer a model.
Some men skipped the niceities altogether and go right down to business because they didn’t come to Facebook to play games.
Because sometimes you gotta be forward to get what you want, right? Honesty is the best policy, after all. And I’m sure this painting appreciates a man who knows what he wants.
Some shared their WhatsApp information, hoping to take their conversation to a secondary location.
Thankfully, there were people in the comments who were quite aware that what they were looking at was a photograph, and they did their best to help out those tragically deceived men.
“This is the worst mistake you could ever make,” one person wrote to the man willingly giving out his digits over a Facebook post.
Wenham’s tweet about the tragic Facebook comments has quickly gone viral.
It currently has nearly 230,000 likes and over 43,000 retweets. The comments are also unsurprisingly amazing.
“Men should exclusively hit on 19th century paintings,” one person wrote. “Better for everyone.”
Another added, “19th century imaginary women never message you back smh.”
Best of all was this person who mocked up a theoretical conversation between the painting’s model and some of her passionate, prospective love interests: “It would never work between the two of us. You’re 25 years old and I’m oil on canvas.”
And that’s enough internet for me today.
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