To the women who are reading this, does it sometimes feel like men are all following the same arcane set of rules?
To the men, what are these rules? What is “bro code,” exactly?
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It’s by no means a definitive list, but the answers on r/AskReddit to the question, “What is an unspoken, universal rule all males know?” should give us a few insights.
Since the days of the NES.
“When you’re playing video games at somebody else’s house, you’re Player 2. In your own home, you’re Player 1.”
It’s just good luck.
“If you don’t slap, touch, or caress the big bags of dirt in the home and garden section, the universe will be all out of whack.”
It’s all about the nod.
“I’ve been going to the gym for a year now and there are about 5 other guys I see everyday there. We’ve never spoken a word but we all nod and acknowledging each other when one of us walks in. I’d consider them my gym friends.”
Do this even if you’ll never build it.
“Whenever your wife/husband trys to buy something you could make but never will, always tell her/him to not buy it because you can make that same thing at home way cheaper.”
To do otherwise would be a sign of weakness.
“Always bring the groceries into the house in one trip. There are no exceptions.”
The quick self-patdown.
“When you stand up to leave, make sure to do the pocket check. Phone, keys, wallet.”
They’re called dad groans.
“When you reach a certain age – you must groan when either sitting or standing up even if there is absolutely no pain whatsoever.”
“Anyone else need one?”
“When watching TV/hanging by the fire/etc. with the guys, if you get up to get a beer, always consult the room if anyone else requires a beverage before leaving.”
Pass it on to the next guy.
“For some reason when there’s a single bathroom and one of us tries the handle to find it occupied… the guy leaving always feels it’s necessary to ceremonially hand control over to the new guy. Me included.”
Always poke the fire.
“Never let a fire sit unbothered. Always always always be rearranging logs, adding more wood, or blowing air into it. A fire is never good enough and can always be improved.”
How to acknowledge weather.
“If there is bad weather brewing outside you must stand on the porch and say something along the lines of ‘Well, the rain’s coming I can feel it.'”
How it works at the grill.
“You must stand by your bro while he’s grilling, and make comments about the level of awesome it’s going to be.”
Respect the dads.
“If a man is with his young kids, you do not get to [mess] with that man. You just wait until next time or whatever you have to but no, not today cause dude is with his little ones.”
Baldness makes you bros.
“I’ve been shaving my head for over 22 years.
“I’ve always made it a habit of saluting, greeting, nodding, making eye contact, and sometimes saying something FUNNY to another handsome bald brother who walks past me.”
You need to make big things go boom.
“You have to rip off icicles from roofs and throw big rocks in lakes when given the opportunity.”
Just order more every time.
“When she tells you she’s not hungry for whatever you’re ordering, order more cuz she’ll definitely be eating your stuff.”
– u/inkfig
Be very careful with zippers.
“Zippers are not your friend. use them slowly and carefully, or you will regret every decision that brought you to this place in life…..”
Tools need the Dad Test.
“Some tools require ‘testing’ before use. Examples include: ‘Click click’ tongs, Squeeze the trigger of a power drill a couple times, Spin the socket of a ratchet wrench to make sure it’s going the right way.”
If at all possible, don’t hit a man in the junk.
“I learned this lesson as a young lad on the recess playground. I was ostracized, and rightly so, for 2 weeks until my contrition was accepted by the victim and ratified by the group.”
Give it a little space.
“When there’s a choice between urinals, use the one that minimizes the chances of neighboring another occupied urinal.”
