Even after a long time together, we can find ourselves discovering things about our partners that we never would have guessed.
But while these are usually fairly interesting tidbits like an old hobby or skill that we never knew they had, we can also find that these undiscovered traits can be a source for conflict .
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Whether it’s a habit that had only recently become noticeable or a secret that stayed uncovered for most of the relationship, it seems that every passing day sees a new couple’s problems grace a certain Reddit community .
And the sudden nature of the story behind today’s argument has left the normally resolute community unsure of what to think.
After three years together, the man we’re about to hear from proposed to his now fiancée and they’re in the process of planning their wedding.
But as he wrote in a Reddit post , he recently learned that she now wants to be a stay-at-home wife.
I should mention that her ambition isn’t to be a stay-at-home mom since neither of them have plans to have children, which made this revelation confusing for the man.
Especially since he said it wasn’t so long ago that she seemed as career-driven as he is and was going for a promotion at work.
Aside from the sudden nature of this apparent intention, the man also said he was uncomfortable with this idea because they can’t afford to live as they do with a single income.
Although she noted that he makes significantly more than she does, her income was still nothing to sneeze at and he didn’t feel they would be secure with him as the sole breadwinner.
He was also unclear as to what she would be staying at home to do since they already split housework evenly.
What he did know was, as she put it, “It’s been on my mind a lot – I think working 9-5 just isn’t for me.”
In any case, this led to a heated argument in which the fiancée told him that he wasn’t supporting her dreams.
But as he said, he didn’t know what those dreams are exactly since she didn’t say what she would be doing even after he asked her.
This confusion and the heat of the argument apparently led him to say, “Where is this coming from, why is it your dream to be a stay-at-home wife? Is it your dream to be lazy?”
This led the fiancée to head for her mother’s house until he “calms down.” And while he regrets calling her lazy, his position on what she’s proposing remains unchanged.
And while few blamed him for thinking this would make for an unfair arrangement, commenters seemed split on what could be going on here.
Some people suspected that the fiancée’s plan all along was to enter a relationship where she could live comfortably without having to do much.
As one of them said , “So she waits until you propose and she thinks she has you wrapped around her finger to tell you her ‘dream’ of being lazy and then has the nerve to say that you’re the manipulative one?”
However, others didn’t feel so comfortable making that assumption and thought her apparently sudden reversal of ambitions had another motivation behind it.
In one user’s words , “Is everything okay at her work? Is she getting burnt out and under strain? It seems odd that she’d change so abruptly, it makes me wonder if something is wrong and she’s not doing a very good job of expressing that.”
For those who agreed, they figured that the man would do well to apologize for calling her lazy and trying to get to the bottom of what’s been going on in her work life.
What do you think? Let us know in the comments!
h/t: Reddit | lazy-fiancee
