Look, it’s been a long year. Heck, it’s been a long 18 months. It’s been a long lifetime . Too dark? Sorry, everyone, it’s just one of those days where I feel like time is moving at the speed of light but also so slowly — you know?
Hold on, let me make a cup of coffee and I’ll pick this back up…
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With Christmas right around the corner, I actually cannot keep track of how fast time is going.
It feels like it was just Easter, and now I’ve got to bust out my Christmas tree and detangle hundreds of lightbulbs on dozens of strings as my husband “helps” by “supervising the project” while I bust my butt all afternoon? No thanks.
I think all parents could be cut a little slack this year, something has to go.
It can’t be Christmas food or decorations. It can’t be gifts — I deserve those too much. But do you know what it can be? ELF ON THE FRIGGIN’ SHELF!
Sure, the first year I bought the elf it was fun to think of quirky ways the kids could find him every morning.
But after 10 years of this, I’m exhausted.
Last year our elf “fell asleep in the oven” for three days and I had to scrap him off the bottom of the hot appliance while my kids screamed in horror.
This year, I’m going by Cobb County Superior Court Judge Robert Leonard’s suggestion. Well, his “order” — wink, wink.
This week, Leonard tweeted out an “official order” that bans Elf on the Shelf this year. It looks very legitimate, right?
“Tired of living in Elf on the Shelf tyranny? Not looking forward to the Elf forgetting to move and causing your kids emotional distress? I am a public servant and will take the heat for you. My gift to tired parents,” he tweeted alongside the order.
If you can’t relate to my exhaustion about Elf on the Shelf please don’t get your panties in a knot, he addressed y’all as well.
“P.S. – If you love your elf, keep your elf. No contempts,” Judge Leonard added.
Don’t mind me, just running to the printer as we speak!
